1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:03,596
[♪ Marvel Studios fanfare
playing]
2
00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:25,253
[Deadpool scatting along]
♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ta ♪
3
00:00:25,389 --> 00:00:27,793
♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ♪
4
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:29,620
♪ Tan tan ta ♪
5
00:00:29,755 --> 00:00:30,994
♪ Tan tan tan tan ♪
6
00:00:31,130 --> 00:00:32,563
♪ Tan tan ta tan ♪
7
00:00:32,698 --> 00:00:33,990
- ♪ Tan tan tan tan! ♪
- [♪ fanfare concludes]
8
00:00:34,126 --> 00:00:37,300
[laughs] That logo music
just gets you pumped.
9
00:00:37,435 --> 00:00:39,099
[♪ gentle music playing]
- Right?
10
00:00:39,235 --> 00:00:42,037
I'm sorry. I just,
I'm excited to be here.
It's been a while.
11
00:00:42,173 --> 00:00:43,240
You know, for a long time,
12
00:00:43,375 --> 00:00:45,039
I wasn't sure
I'd ever be back.
13
00:00:45,174 --> 00:00:46,343
Disney bought Fox,
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00:00:46,478 --> 00:00:47,910
there was a whole
boring rights issue,
15
00:00:48,046 --> 00:00:49,247
blabbity-blabbity-blah.
16
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,977
But then, it turned out,
they wanted me.
17
00:00:52,112 --> 00:00:54,653
The one guy who shouldn't
even have his own movie,
18
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,184
much less a franchise.
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00:00:56,319 --> 00:00:59,453
[laughs] Marvel's so stupid.
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00:00:59,589 --> 00:01:01,389
Look, we know the title
of this thing.
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00:01:01,524 --> 00:01:03,190
So, I know
what you're wondering.
22
00:01:03,325 --> 00:01:04,393
How are we gonna do this
23
00:01:04,528 --> 00:01:07,765
without dishonoring
Logan's memory?
24
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:09,266
And I'll tell you how.
25
00:01:10,033 --> 00:01:11,369
We're not.
26
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:12,897
[♪ romantic music plays,
The Platters "Only You"]
27
00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:15,036
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.
28
00:01:15,171 --> 00:01:17,366
Wolverine is not dead.
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Sure, it made for a perfect
ending to a very sad story.
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00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:21,805
But that's not how
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00:01:21,941 --> 00:01:23,906
regenerative healing
factors work.
32
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,216
You think
I wanna be out here
33
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:27,343
in beautiful downtown
North Dakota,
34
00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:30,586
digging up the one and only
Wolverine? No, thank you.
35
00:01:30,721 --> 00:01:33,191
But the fate of
my entire world is at stake.
36
00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:34,683
He may not
be living his best life,
37
00:01:34,819 --> 00:01:37,025
but he sure as hell ain't
38
00:01:37,161 --> 00:01:38,757
- dead.
- [metal clanks]
39
00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:43,168
[crow cawing in distance]
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00:01:43,702 --> 00:01:44,697
Bingo.
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00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:46,534
Yahtzee.
42
00:01:47,838 --> 00:01:49,031
[sighs]
43
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:52,672
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
44
00:01:56,341 --> 00:01:57,314
Damn it!
45
00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:01,076
- Son of a bitch!
- [metal clangs]
46
00:02:02,721 --> 00:02:04,119
You...
47
00:02:04,255 --> 00:02:06,021
- [shovel snaps]
- [yelling]
48
00:02:06,156 --> 00:02:09,358
Christ. Motherfucker!
49
00:02:09,494 --> 00:02:11,028
- My world is fuck...
- [♪ song stops]
50
00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:13,962
[laughs, snorts]
That was weird.
51
00:02:14,098 --> 00:02:15,267
I'm much calmer now.
52
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:16,727
[♪ The Platter "Only You"
resumes playing]
53
00:02:16,863 --> 00:02:19,664
Look, I'm not a man
of science.
54
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,706
But you seem
incredibly passed away.
55
00:02:22,841 --> 00:02:24,341
[flies buzzing]
56
00:02:24,974 --> 00:02:26,007
[sighs]
57
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But it's good to see ya.
58
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:30,816
I gotta be honest,
I've always wanted
to ride with you, Log.
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00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:32,140
You and me getting into it.
60
00:02:32,276 --> 00:02:35,911
Deadpool and Wolverine
just fuckin' shit up.
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00:02:36,047 --> 00:02:39,015
Can you imagine the fun,
the chaos...
62
00:02:39,518 --> 00:02:40,523
the residuals?
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00:02:41,459 --> 00:02:42,657
[in Australian accent]
"G'day, mate.
64
00:02:42,792 --> 00:02:44,589
"There's nothing that'll
bring me back to life faster
65
00:02:44,725 --> 00:02:47,430
"than a big bag
of Marvel cash."
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00:02:47,565 --> 00:02:50,125
[chuckles, in normal tone]
Me too, Hugh.
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00:02:50,728 --> 00:02:53,569
But, no. No, no, no.
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00:02:53,704 --> 00:02:57,466
[groans] You had to get
all noble and die for real.
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00:02:57,601 --> 00:02:59,376
Goddamn it!
70
00:03:00,941 --> 00:03:03,215
I could really use
your help right now.
71
00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:05,481
[electrical whirring]
72
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[♪ tense music playing]
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Wait!
74
00:03:16,162 --> 00:03:17,828
I'm warning you,
I'm not alone.
75
00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:20,057
Wade Winston Wilson,
76
00:03:20,193 --> 00:03:22,559
you are under arrest by
the Time Variance Authority...
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00:03:22,694 --> 00:03:23,628
[Deadpool sniffs] Oof.
78
00:03:23,763 --> 00:03:24,960
...for too many crimes
to list.
79
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- Come out...
- [Deadpool groans]
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00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:27,570
...and we'll extend you
the courtesy
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00:03:27,706 --> 00:03:29,773
- of taking you in one piece.
- Death by day-player.
82
00:03:29,908 --> 00:03:31,040
Last chance.
83
00:03:31,175 --> 00:03:32,310
Throw out your weapons
84
00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:34,312
- and come out peacefully.
- [Deadpool sighs]
85
00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:36,211
[Deadpool] I'm not gonna
give you my weapons,
86
00:03:36,347 --> 00:03:39,341
but I promise not to use them.
87
00:03:39,477 --> 00:03:42,179
There are two hundred and six
bones in the human body.
88
00:03:42,315 --> 00:03:44,346
Two hundred and seven
if I'm watching Gossip Girl.
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[♪ pop music playing,
*NSYNC "Bye Bye Bye"]
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Here we go. Maximum effort.
- ♪ Hey, hey ♪
91
00:03:47,619 --> 00:03:48,689
[♪ song stops]
92
00:03:52,756 --> 00:03:54,732
♪ Bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
93
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:55,927
Okay, peanut.
94
00:03:56,062 --> 00:03:57,665
Guess we're getting
that team-up after all.
95
00:03:59,365 --> 00:04:01,405
♪ Bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
96
00:04:05,569 --> 00:04:06,574
[grunts]
97
00:04:06,709 --> 00:04:08,811
♪ I'm doing this tonight ♪
98
00:04:08,947 --> 00:04:10,715
♪ You're probably gonna
start a fight ♪
99
00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:11,776
[screaming]
100
00:04:11,912 --> 00:04:14,185
♪ I know this can't be right ♪
101
00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:17,112
♪ Hey, baby, come on ♪
102
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♪ I loved you endlessly ♪
103
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♪ When you weren't
there for me ♪
104
00:04:22,621 --> 00:04:28,224
♪ So now it's time to leave
and make it alone ♪
105
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,394
♪ I know that
I can't take no more ♪
106
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[smooches]
107
00:04:32,465 --> 00:04:33,769
[exhales]
108
00:04:33,905 --> 00:04:36,600
♪ I wanna see you
out that door ♪
109
00:04:36,736 --> 00:04:38,906
♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
110
00:04:39,042 --> 00:04:41,075
♪ Don't wanna be
a fool for you ♪
111
00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:44,539
♪ Just another player
in your game for two ♪
112
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♪ You may hate me,
but it ain't no lie ♪
113
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♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
114
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♪ Don't really wanna
make it tough ♪
115
00:04:52,552 --> 00:04:55,518
♪ I just wanna tell you
that I've had enough ♪
116
00:04:55,653 --> 00:04:59,021
♪ It might sound crazy,
but it ain't no lie ♪
117
00:04:59,157 --> 00:05:02,092
♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
118
00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:05,594
♪ Just hit me with the truth ♪
119
00:05:05,729 --> 00:05:07,533
♪ Now, girl, you're more
than welcome to ♪
120
00:05:07,669 --> 00:05:09,539
Maradona from outside the box!
121
00:05:09,908 --> 00:05:12,704
Goal!
122
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,072
♪ Baby, come on ♪
123
00:05:14,208 --> 00:05:17,273
♪ I know that
I can't take no more ♪
124
00:05:17,409 --> 00:05:19,408
- ♪ It ain't no lie ♪
- [both yelling]
125
00:05:19,544 --> 00:05:22,580
♪ I wanna see you
out that door ♪
126
00:05:22,716 --> 00:05:24,952
♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
127
00:05:25,088 --> 00:05:27,187
♪ Don't wanna be
a fool for you ♪
128
00:05:27,322 --> 00:05:30,518
♪ Just another player
in your game for two ♪
129
00:05:30,654 --> 00:05:33,723
♪ You may hate me,
but it ain't no lie ♪
130
00:05:33,859 --> 00:05:36,129
♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
131
00:05:36,264 --> 00:05:38,329
♪ Don't really wanna
make it tough ♪
132
00:05:38,465 --> 00:05:41,530
♪ I just wanna tell you
that I had enough ♪
133
00:05:41,665 --> 00:05:44,935
♪ Might sound crazy,
but it ain't no lie ♪
134
00:05:45,071 --> 00:05:47,643
♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
135
00:05:51,011 --> 00:05:54,252
♪ I don't wanna be your fool ♪
136
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,948
♪ In this game for two ♪
137
00:05:57,083 --> 00:05:59,517
♪ So I'm leavin' you behind ♪
138
00:05:59,653 --> 00:06:01,259
Come on, big fella.
139
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:03,055
♪ Bye, bye, bye, yeah ♪
140
00:06:03,190 --> 00:06:05,626
♪ I don't wanna
make it tough ♪
141
00:06:05,762 --> 00:06:08,130
♪ But I've had enough ♪
142
00:06:08,265 --> 00:06:11,398
♪ And it ain't no lie ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
143
00:06:11,534 --> 00:06:12,868
♪ Baby ♪
144
00:06:13,004 --> 00:06:14,432
♪ Don't wanna be
a fool for you ♪
145
00:06:14,567 --> 00:06:16,369
♪ Just another player
in your game for two ♪
146
00:06:16,505 --> 00:06:21,176
♪ I don't wanna be your fool,
but it ain't no lie ♪
147
00:06:21,311 --> 00:06:23,473
♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
148
00:06:23,608 --> 00:06:25,310
♪ Don't really wanna
make it tough ♪
149
00:06:25,446 --> 00:06:28,984
♪ I just wanna tell you
that I had enough ♪
150
00:06:29,119 --> 00:06:32,451
♪ Might sound crazy,
but it ain't no lie ♪
151
00:06:32,586 --> 00:06:34,789
♪ Bye, bye, bye ♪
- ♪ Bye, bye ♪
152
00:06:34,924 --> 00:06:36,656
- [♪ song ends]
- [gasps dramatically]
153
00:06:36,791 --> 00:06:39,123
[♪ operatic music playing]
154
00:06:39,925 --> 00:06:42,467
I am soaking wet right now.
155
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,361
[roars]
156
00:06:45,497 --> 00:06:47,463
To be clear, I'm not proud
of any of this.
157
00:06:47,599 --> 00:06:50,602
The wanton violence,
the whiff of necrophilia.
158
00:06:50,737 --> 00:06:51,736
It isn't who I am.
159
00:06:51,871 --> 00:06:53,340
It isn't who I wanna be.
160
00:06:53,475 --> 00:06:54,578
Who I wanna be?
161
00:06:54,713 --> 00:06:56,477
Well, to help you
understand that,
162
00:06:56,613 --> 00:06:57,813
I've gotta take you back.
163
00:06:57,948 --> 00:07:00,210
A little joyride I took
through space and time,
164
00:07:00,345 --> 00:07:03,188
to the day
that changed everything.
165
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,424
[♪ uptempo music building]
166
00:07:12,694 --> 00:07:14,092
[♪ music fades out]
167
00:07:15,061 --> 00:07:16,798
I can't believe
I'm finally here.
168
00:07:16,933 --> 00:07:19,636
I've waited for this moment
for so long.
169
00:07:20,835 --> 00:07:23,200
Thank you, sir, for seeing me.
170
00:07:23,968 --> 00:07:25,902
I... I firmly believe
171
00:07:26,037 --> 00:07:27,268
that my services could be of
172
00:07:27,404 --> 00:07:29,276
great use
to your organization.
173
00:07:29,411 --> 00:07:30,748
Now, I know
174
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,748
I was caught smashturbating
in the lobby of Stark Tower,
175
00:07:32,883 --> 00:07:34,044
- but I can assure you that--
- Smashturbating?
176
00:07:34,180 --> 00:07:35,445
I'm sorry, what...
what was that?
177
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:38,880
No, I'm sorry. That...
That's when you get those toy,
178
00:07:39,015 --> 00:07:40,251
Hulk hands, right?
179
00:07:40,387 --> 00:07:41,724
And then you just, you look
down, and you just...
180
00:07:43,027 --> 00:07:45,488
you brace yourself,
and you ravage the midsection.
181
00:07:45,624 --> 00:07:47,223
- Pinch the... Yeah. Okay.
- I get it. Okay, thank you.
182
00:07:47,359 --> 00:07:49,158
- The picture's painted.
- You get the gist.
183
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:51,631
Uh, what exactly
brings you here today?
184
00:07:51,766 --> 00:07:54,829
Why am I... Wow. Okay. Uh...
185
00:07:54,964 --> 00:07:56,365
I... I care.
186
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:59,434
I know I turn everything
into a joke, but I...
187
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:04,175
I care, and I wanna use
that feeling...
188
00:08:05,009 --> 00:08:07,315
for something important.
189
00:08:07,451 --> 00:08:08,649
I... I wanna matter.
190
00:08:08,784 --> 00:08:11,313
[♪ solemn music playing]
191
00:08:11,448 --> 00:08:13,415
I need to show my girl
that I matter.
192
00:08:14,719 --> 00:08:16,119
And...
193
00:08:16,254 --> 00:08:17,424
You know,
I feel like I'm wasting
194
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:18,528
the good stuff here.
195
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:19,855
Is the man not gonna
be joining us?
196
00:08:19,991 --> 00:08:20,926
- The man?
- Yeah.
197
00:08:21,061 --> 00:08:23,096
I should save this
if he's gonna...
198
00:08:23,232 --> 00:08:25,136
Uh, as far as you're concerned
right now, I'm the man.
199
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:26,800
- No.
- The man is me.
200
00:08:26,936 --> 00:08:29,800
I am the man
in this circumstance.
201
00:08:29,936 --> 00:08:31,033
- Mm.
- He doesn't do
202
00:08:31,168 --> 00:08:32,638
this kind of thing anymore.
203
00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:33,708
- Cameos?
- Meetings.
204
00:08:33,844 --> 00:08:35,375
- Meetings.
- Entry-level meetings.
205
00:08:35,510 --> 00:08:36,247
Entry-level?
206
00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:38,207
Aren't you the chauffeur...
207
00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:40,549
- maybe?
- I... Common misconception.
208
00:08:40,685 --> 00:08:41,911
- Okay.
- I did begin my career
209
00:08:42,046 --> 00:08:43,717
as Mr. Stark's driver.
210
00:08:43,853 --> 00:08:44,885
- Okay.
- Quickly pivoted to...
211
00:08:45,021 --> 00:08:46,315
- Chauffeur.
- ...the Head of Security.
212
00:08:46,450 --> 00:08:48,316
The Head of...
Of course, yes, yes, yes.
213
00:08:48,452 --> 00:08:51,354
And why I am vetting
your resume.
214
00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:53,762
You seem to have left out
whether or not you had
215
00:08:53,897 --> 00:08:55,495
any experience
as a member of a team.
216
00:08:55,631 --> 00:08:56,599
Could you maybe add
217
00:08:56,735 --> 00:08:57,800
a little bit
of perspective there?
218
00:08:57,935 --> 00:09:00,061
Oh. No, yes, of course.
I was Special Forces...
219
00:09:00,197 --> 00:09:01,129
- Okay.
- ...but I was...
220
00:09:01,264 --> 00:09:02,801
Mainly, I was team leader...
221
00:09:02,936 --> 00:09:04,104
founder, really, of X-Force.
222
00:09:04,239 --> 00:09:06,069
Sadly, they... they all
perished in action though.
223
00:09:06,205 --> 00:09:07,436
Oh. How exactly
did that happen?
224
00:09:07,571 --> 00:09:09,679
Well, the police say gravity,
but if...
225
00:09:09,815 --> 00:09:11,107
Just between us,
they didn't test well
226
00:09:11,242 --> 00:09:12,648
- in the focus group.
- I see.
227
00:09:12,783 --> 00:09:14,382
- Particularly Cable.
- X-Force.
228
00:09:14,517 --> 00:09:15,486
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
229
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:16,553
Look, I can see
this isn't going well.
230
00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:17,851
Please stop writing.
Look, I... I...
231
00:09:17,987 --> 00:09:20,053
I'm just...
I wanna be an Avenger.
232
00:09:21,657 --> 00:09:23,452
I wanna be an Avenger.
233
00:09:25,192 --> 00:09:26,992
Why do you wanna be
an Avenger?
234
00:09:27,128 --> 00:09:28,563
Look around you.
I mean, they're the...
235
00:09:28,699 --> 00:09:29,994
they're the best of the best.
236
00:09:30,130 --> 00:09:32,059
And... And what
they do matters.
237
00:09:32,195 --> 00:09:34,496
I need to be an Avenger.
238
00:09:34,632 --> 00:09:36,967
Sir, my girl
has kinda had it
with my shtick,
239
00:09:37,103 --> 00:09:38,303
and I... if I don't, you know,
240
00:09:38,438 --> 00:09:41,140
turn things around and
do something with my "gifts,"
241
00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:42,906
I don't think it's gonna
really work out for me,
242
00:09:43,042 --> 00:09:44,374
and I wouldn't blame her.
243
00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:49,747
Avengers are a very unique
group of superheroes
244
00:09:49,883 --> 00:09:50,985
that stand for something
245
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,648
more than just fighting
and wearing costumes.
246
00:09:53,784 --> 00:09:56,921
I mean, people look up to us.
Kids look up to us.
247
00:09:57,057 --> 00:09:58,156
- They--
- I'm sorry. "Us"?
248
00:09:58,291 --> 00:10:00,861
I wasn't aware
that you were an Avenger.
249
00:10:00,996 --> 00:10:01,927
Avengers-adjacent, technically.
250
00:10:02,063 --> 00:10:03,325
Oh, wow.
What's your superpower?
251
00:10:03,460 --> 00:10:06,004
Is it parallel parking?
I am so sorry.
252
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,332
That was cruel.
253
00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:09,770
I lash out when I'm nervous.
Won't happen again.
254
00:10:09,905 --> 00:10:11,132
- Let's cut to the chase.
- Please.
255
00:10:11,268 --> 00:10:12,743
You just said moments ago
256
00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:15,207
that you wanted to be
an Avenger because
257
00:10:15,808 --> 00:10:17,246
you need it.
258
00:10:17,381 --> 00:10:18,273
Yes, sir, I do.
259
00:10:18,408 --> 00:10:19,910
But the Avengers
don't do the job
260
00:10:20,045 --> 00:10:21,377
because they need it.
261
00:10:21,513 --> 00:10:23,655
They do the job
because people need them.
262
00:10:24,820 --> 00:10:26,350
Do you see the distinction?
263
00:10:27,985 --> 00:10:29,551
Yes, sir.
264
00:10:30,428 --> 00:10:31,861
Please, Mr. Hogan.
265
00:10:31,996 --> 00:10:33,057
I don't wanna spend
the rest of my life
266
00:10:33,193 --> 00:10:35,392
like an annoying
one-trick pony.
267
00:10:38,303 --> 00:10:39,297
All right.
268
00:10:40,165 --> 00:10:41,803
Oh, my God, you're standing.
269
00:10:41,939 --> 00:10:43,336
Yeah, now's the time
that we stand.
270
00:10:43,472 --> 00:10:44,399
Damn it.
271
00:10:44,535 --> 00:10:45,807
Now, the problem
might be that you're
272
00:10:45,943 --> 00:10:48,240
reaching a little...
little too high.
273
00:10:48,375 --> 00:10:50,812
Aim for the middle,
and you'll never miss.
274
00:10:50,948 --> 00:10:52,009
Right?
I think you got a good heart.
275
00:10:52,145 --> 00:10:53,949
I believe what you're saying.
276
00:10:54,084 --> 00:10:55,582
But not everybody's
the world-saving type.
277
00:10:55,718 --> 00:10:57,348
I'm not, and I'm happy.
278
00:10:57,951 --> 00:10:59,724
Right? I found my place.
279
00:11:00,589 --> 00:11:01,990
Find your place.
280
00:11:02,892 --> 00:11:04,892
All right? Get back out there.
281
00:11:05,028 --> 00:11:06,493
- We'll keep an eye on you.
- Okay.
282
00:11:06,628 --> 00:11:07,622
Good luck.
283
00:11:08,767 --> 00:11:11,228
- [Wade Wilson] Mm. Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
284
00:11:11,364 --> 00:11:13,865
Fetch the car.
I wanna hit Shake Shack.
285
00:11:14,001 --> 00:11:15,531
Rejection makes me hungy.
286
00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:17,970
- No, no. Please.
- No?
287
00:11:18,105 --> 00:11:19,605
- Yeah, no, no, no.
- Okay.
288
00:11:19,740 --> 00:11:21,009
Okay, thank you.
289
00:11:22,947 --> 00:11:24,513
[Deadpool]
You know what they say.
290
00:11:24,649 --> 00:11:26,146
When one door closes,
291
00:11:27,180 --> 00:11:28,849
your locker at work opens.
292
00:11:28,984 --> 00:11:31,316
[♪ rousing music playing]
293
00:11:32,049 --> 00:11:33,483
[stapling]
294
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:39,960
Now let's go sell
some certified
295
00:11:40,096 --> 00:11:41,694
pre-owned vehicles,
motherfu...
296
00:11:41,830 --> 00:11:42,999
[♪ music stops]
297
00:11:44,169 --> 00:11:47,332
Technically, the...
the Carnival's not a minivan.
298
00:11:48,505 --> 00:11:49,731
It's an MPV.
299
00:11:49,867 --> 00:11:52,038
So how does the Kia compare
to the Honda Odyssey?
300
00:11:52,174 --> 00:11:53,536
The Odyssey?
That's a great question.
301
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,671
- Um, it doesn't fucking suck.
- [boy snickers]
302
00:11:55,807 --> 00:11:58,146
You know, you can answer
the question without swearing.
303
00:11:58,281 --> 00:12:00,849
I'm sorry, Tammy, I don't...
I don't have kids.
304
00:12:00,984 --> 00:12:02,643
Not that I haven't
dreamt of that,
305
00:12:02,779 --> 00:12:05,020
but I don't have
a lot of vaginal sex.
306
00:12:08,190 --> 00:12:09,286
[Peter] You'll get 'em
next time, pal.
307
00:12:09,422 --> 00:12:10,487
- [Wade] Yeah.
- [Peter] And look,
308
00:12:10,622 --> 00:12:12,127
you can always go back
to superhero-ing.
309
00:12:12,262 --> 00:12:14,899
I mean, I know I'd like
to see you back in the suit.
310
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:17,563
I don't keep it in my locker
so that I can wear it.
311
00:12:17,698 --> 00:12:20,233
I keep it in my locker in case
we need to saddle up again.
312
00:12:20,368 --> 00:12:23,438
Hey, hey, hey.
What is that doing in there?
313
00:12:23,573 --> 00:12:24,666
I'm done.
314
00:12:26,444 --> 00:12:27,405
I'm done.
315
00:12:28,241 --> 00:12:30,140
And I'm fine with being done.
316
00:12:30,276 --> 00:12:31,941
Look, is sales the best match?
317
00:12:32,077 --> 00:12:33,480
Probably not.
318
00:12:33,616 --> 00:12:37,218
Is this the life that I always
imagined for myself? Fuck no.
319
00:12:37,353 --> 00:12:40,357
But this is the right fit
for me, Sugar Bear, it is.
320
00:12:40,492 --> 00:12:41,988
Okay, Mr. Wilson.
321
00:12:42,123 --> 00:12:43,727
I'm just saying,
once a month,
322
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,829
we could go
on a little mission.
323
00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:48,663
We're human beings.
We crave purpose.
324
00:12:48,799 --> 00:12:50,329
After all, we're Deadpool.
325
00:12:50,464 --> 00:12:52,965
Please stop saying that.
We're not Deadpool.
326
00:12:53,101 --> 00:12:55,269
I'm not even Deadpool anymore.
327
00:12:55,404 --> 00:12:58,169
Well, if you're gonna have
a midlife crisis, go big.
328
00:12:58,304 --> 00:13:00,141
A few years ago,
a friend of mine
329
00:13:00,276 --> 00:13:02,441
got his nipples pierced
with a titanium chain
330
00:13:02,576 --> 00:13:05,712
that goes down and attaches
to his Van Johnson.
331
00:13:05,847 --> 00:13:07,082
[camera clicking]
332
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:11,752
Are... Are you feeling
grumplestiltskin
333
00:13:11,888 --> 00:13:13,319
'cause it's your birthday?
334
00:13:14,887 --> 00:13:16,091
What?
335
00:13:16,757 --> 00:13:17,752
No.
336
00:13:18,792 --> 00:13:19,996
No.
337
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,098
- Surprise!
- [♪ hip-hop music plays]
338
00:13:25,233 --> 00:13:27,729
Hey, you guys are lucky
I'm not armed.
339
00:13:28,473 --> 00:13:29,633
Get in here.
340
00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:31,840
If this were six years ago,
you'd all be dead.
341
00:13:31,976 --> 00:13:33,643
So then,
he gets out of the cab,
342
00:13:33,778 --> 00:13:34,811
and you will not believe it.
343
00:13:34,946 --> 00:13:36,814
I turn around,
and what do I find?
344
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:38,473
- AirPods. His AirPods.
- His AirPods!
345
00:13:38,608 --> 00:13:40,008
- Come on.
- Crazy story.
346
00:13:40,144 --> 00:13:42,546
- Every time. Come on.
- [laughing]
Every single time.
347
00:13:43,312 --> 00:13:44,488
[Wade sighs]
348
00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:45,950
Make any sales today?
349
00:13:46,085 --> 00:13:47,385
You know I didn't.
350
00:13:47,521 --> 00:13:49,155
Did you sell
any dreamcatchers on Etsy
351
00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:50,827
or whatever it is
that you do?
352
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:52,529
Our rent's due
in three days, Wade.
353
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:53,859
I can't keep carrying you.
354
00:13:53,995 --> 00:13:55,492
Relax. I have the money.
355
00:13:55,628 --> 00:13:58,029
I sold some old
blood pressure medication
356
00:13:58,164 --> 00:13:59,331
I found lying around.
357
00:13:59,466 --> 00:14:01,004
You tryin' to kill me, motherfucker?
358
00:14:01,139 --> 00:14:02,706
I'm not the one
dousing everything in salt,
359
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,168
- motherfucker.
- I pray every day
360
00:14:05,304 --> 00:14:07,206
that fire finds your body
361
00:14:07,342 --> 00:14:09,713
and finishes the job
God didn't have
362
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:11,343
- the nuts to do.
- That's hurtful.
363
00:14:11,479 --> 00:14:12,879
If you could hear
the look on my face,
364
00:14:13,015 --> 00:14:14,441
you'd smell how sad I am.
365
00:14:14,577 --> 00:14:15,783
You watched anything good?
366
00:14:15,919 --> 00:14:17,585
Great British Bake Off.
367
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:18,946
Oh, goddamn.
368
00:14:19,081 --> 00:14:21,289
That show stood between me
and suicide for 10 years.
369
00:14:21,424 --> 00:14:23,993
Those are my feelings on
abortion, religious freedom,
370
00:14:24,128 --> 00:14:26,193
animal rights,
privacy rights, vaccines,
371
00:14:26,329 --> 00:14:28,428
free-market capitalism,
global climate change.
372
00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:31,492
Yeah, duh-duh-duh.
No, no speaking lines, Buck.
373
00:14:31,628 --> 00:14:33,636
- Hi, Yukio.
- Hi, Wade.
374
00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:36,170
Nice fake o'clock shadow.
375
00:14:36,305 --> 00:14:39,442
It's a summer balayage.
From the French.
376
00:14:39,577 --> 00:14:43,011
It's meant to mimic
the natural highlights
of the sun.
377
00:14:43,147 --> 00:14:44,879
- It's a toupee.
- It's a hair system.
378
00:14:45,015 --> 00:14:47,285
I love your hair system, Wade.
379
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,618
Thank you. Heh.
380
00:14:48,753 --> 00:14:50,144
Wanna do some cocaine?
381
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,220
Hey, cocaine is the one thing
that Feige said is off limits.
382
00:14:53,355 --> 00:14:55,059
What about
Bolivian marching powder?
383
00:14:55,194 --> 00:14:57,191
They know all the slang terms.
They have a list.
384
00:14:57,327 --> 00:14:59,056
- Even snowboarding?
- Even disco dust.
385
00:14:59,192 --> 00:15:00,127
White girl interrupted?
386
00:15:00,262 --> 00:15:01,723
- Even Forrest Bump.
- Booger sugar?
387
00:15:01,858 --> 00:15:03,067
I wouldn't even try
powdered gonuts.
388
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:06,696
- Do you wanna build a snowman?
- Yes. But I can't.
389
00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:09,607
Pull here.
390
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:10,741
- Here?
- Yeah. [gasps]
391
00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:12,076
- [Yukio yelps]
- [laughter]
392
00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:13,637
- [Dopinder] What happened?
- That's the fun part.
393
00:15:14,976 --> 00:15:16,214
Thanks for coming.
394
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:17,348
Yeah.
395
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:18,549
How's work?
396
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:20,050
Oh, I got a promotion.
397
00:15:20,815 --> 00:15:22,142
No way.
398
00:15:22,278 --> 00:15:25,213
Yeah. It's mind-numbing middle
management, but I'm happy.
399
00:15:25,349 --> 00:15:26,419
That's great.
400
00:15:28,192 --> 00:15:29,653
- You, uh, seeing anyone?
- How about you?
401
00:15:30,694 --> 00:15:32,529
Um... Yeah.
402
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,199
A guy from work. Dermot.
403
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:36,424
Dermot.
404
00:15:36,559 --> 00:15:37,864
- He's kind.
- Good.
405
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,570
Likes to go hiking.
406
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,033
Hasn't gotten me shot yet.
407
00:15:41,169 --> 00:15:43,397
Well, it's the early days.
408
00:15:43,532 --> 00:15:45,009
[Vanessa chuckles]
409
00:15:47,375 --> 00:15:49,303
What about you?
You seeing anyone?
410
00:15:49,438 --> 00:15:50,475
[Wade] Mm...
411
00:15:50,611 --> 00:15:51,979
No, no, I live
in a one-bedroom apartment.
412
00:15:52,114 --> 00:15:53,644
I share a bed with Blind Al.
413
00:15:55,050 --> 00:15:57,018
- Okay.
- [laughs]
414
00:15:57,153 --> 00:15:58,583
- All right.
- All right.
415
00:16:00,116 --> 00:16:03,519
[all] ♪ Happy birthday
to you ♪
416
00:16:03,654 --> 00:16:05,093
- Speech! Speech!
- [Yukio] Yes!
417
00:16:05,228 --> 00:16:07,262
All right.
Okay, okay, okay. Uh...
418
00:16:08,028 --> 00:16:09,030
Birthdays.
419
00:16:09,165 --> 00:16:10,799
Boy, every spin
around the moon
420
00:16:10,935 --> 00:16:11,902
is a new adventure indeed.
421
00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:14,269
- Sun, dumbass.
- Okay, round-earther.
422
00:16:15,602 --> 00:16:17,639
- Where was I?
- The adventure of life.
423
00:16:17,774 --> 00:16:18,766
Right. Um...
424
00:16:18,901 --> 00:16:21,043
It's been
a challenging few years.
425
00:16:21,179 --> 00:16:22,409
Haven't seen you guys
in a while.
426
00:16:22,544 --> 00:16:24,774
Been through a lot,
uh, change of life.
427
00:16:24,909 --> 00:16:26,847
- Menopause?
- Bitch, are you improv-ing?
428
00:16:26,982 --> 00:16:29,285
- Mm-mm.
- Sorry.
429
00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:30,821
[softly] I'm sorry that
you had to see that, Yukio.
430
00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:33,024
- [softly] It's okay.
- Yeah.
431
00:16:34,122 --> 00:16:35,792
[sighs] But I'm happy.
432
00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,125
You know, and that's... that's
433
00:16:37,261 --> 00:16:40,260
because of each
and every one of you.
434
00:16:40,396 --> 00:16:41,965
I guess,
what I'm trying to say is
435
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:43,600
how proud I am,
how grateful I am
436
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:44,934
to be standing in a room
437
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:48,199
with every single
person I love.
438
00:16:48,335 --> 00:16:50,470
[♪ soft music playing]
439
00:16:53,274 --> 00:16:55,146
I'm the luckiest man alive.
440
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:56,509
[chuckles]
441
00:16:57,574 --> 00:16:58,509
Make a wish, buddy.
442
00:16:58,645 --> 00:17:01,243
Ten-four, good buddy.
[chuckles]
443
00:17:01,378 --> 00:17:02,482
Going down.
444
00:17:05,822 --> 00:17:07,025
[knock at door]
445
00:17:08,759 --> 00:17:09,692
Wade Wilson?
446
00:17:09,827 --> 00:17:11,126
Oh, yeah. Dancers.
447
00:17:11,261 --> 00:17:13,030
Dopinder must have
ordered you.
448
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:14,762
Are those supposed
to be cop costumes?
449
00:17:14,897 --> 00:17:16,298
Never mind.
450
00:17:16,434 --> 00:17:18,660
Take your clothes off
but leave the helmets.
451
00:17:18,795 --> 00:17:20,104
And this isn't Pretty Woman.
452
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,106
We're kissing. All right?
453
00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:24,141
What song do you guys
normally dance to?
454
00:17:25,276 --> 00:17:28,240
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
455
00:17:28,376 --> 00:17:29,606
Is that supposed to be scary?
456
00:17:29,742 --> 00:17:31,572
Pegging isn't new for me, friendo.
457
00:17:31,707 --> 00:17:33,183
But it is for Disney.
458
00:17:33,852 --> 00:17:34,910
Ah, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta!
459
00:17:35,045 --> 00:17:36,779
Okay, I've never been
a natural bottom,
460
00:17:36,914 --> 00:17:38,780
so we're gonna
take things real slow.
461
00:17:38,915 --> 00:17:40,756
And I want some
crazy eye contact.
462
00:17:40,891 --> 00:17:42,383
Not you.
You.
463
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,226
Can't see your eyes
through the mask,
but I can feel them.
464
00:17:44,361 --> 00:17:45,921
We're gonna move on
down the hallway
465
00:17:46,057 --> 00:17:47,922
so we can spare a cleanup
on aisle asshole.
466
00:17:48,057 --> 00:17:49,391
How's everyone feel
about this plan?
467
00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:50,462
I don't like you.
468
00:17:50,598 --> 00:17:52,594
Yes. Let's hold on
to that attitude.
469
00:17:52,729 --> 00:17:54,404
And we're gonna do it angry.
470
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:55,700
[grunts]
471
00:17:57,004 --> 00:17:58,208
[grunts]
472
00:18:02,279 --> 00:18:04,439
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
473
00:18:04,575 --> 00:18:06,040
[Wade moans softly]
474
00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:07,976
[Wade grunts]
475
00:18:12,583 --> 00:18:13,718
[Voice] Mr. Wilson...
476
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:18,358
you appear to have soiled
yourself while unconscious.
477
00:18:18,494 --> 00:18:21,029
I wasn't unconscious.
Who are you?
478
00:18:21,164 --> 00:18:22,991
I go by the name of Paradox.
479
00:18:23,127 --> 00:18:26,661
Mr. Paradox. And you're
sitting here at the TVA.
480
00:18:26,796 --> 00:18:28,797
The Time Variance Authority.
481
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:31,099
We're really
a watchdog organization,
482
00:18:31,234 --> 00:18:33,802
except we're more lighthearted
than that sounds,
483
00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:37,245
with a sort of
throwback, ironic twist.
484
00:18:37,381 --> 00:18:38,840
And we're in charge
of defending
485
00:18:38,976 --> 00:18:41,518
what's known
as the Sacred Timeline.
486
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:44,914
Holy fuck. That is a shit-ton
of exposition for a threequel.
487
00:18:45,049 --> 00:18:46,916
Is this because
I used Cable's time machine?
488
00:18:47,051 --> 00:18:48,758
Brought a couple of people
back to life,
489
00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:49,851
then I destroyed it.
490
00:18:49,987 --> 00:18:51,294
- That was a long time ago.
- Yes,
491
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:54,054
we're aware of your abuse
of your timeline.
492
00:18:54,190 --> 00:18:56,825
[chuckles] And you were
so abusive of it.
493
00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:59,328
Uh, no, it has nothing
to do with that.
494
00:18:59,464 --> 00:19:00,534
Walk with me.
495
00:19:02,702 --> 00:19:04,703
[♪ mysterious music playing]
496
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,943
I brought you here,
Mr. Wilson, to tell you
497
00:19:09,079 --> 00:19:11,073
that you're special.
498
00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:14,016
In fact, you've been chosen
for a higher purpose,
499
00:19:14,152 --> 00:19:16,379
a purpose unclear even to me.
500
00:19:16,514 --> 00:19:18,351
But one that could
501
00:19:18,486 --> 00:19:21,424
save the entire
Sacred Timeline
502
00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:24,160
from a possibly grisly fate
sometime in the future,
503
00:19:24,296 --> 00:19:26,826
which may very well
need to be...
504
00:19:26,962 --> 00:19:28,689
avenged.
505
00:19:28,824 --> 00:19:30,531
This Sacred Timeline,
506
00:19:31,597 --> 00:19:33,501
I assume I'm going to marvel
507
00:19:33,936 --> 00:19:35,163
at how
508
00:19:35,699 --> 00:19:37,433
cinematic it feels?
509
00:19:37,568 --> 00:19:39,343
Gratuitous cameos,
510
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:41,536
indiscriminate use of
Variants, the whole package?
511
00:19:41,671 --> 00:19:43,570
Well, you tell me.
512
00:19:43,706 --> 00:19:44,710
[device beeps]
513
00:19:47,317 --> 00:19:49,517
[♪ heroic music playing]
514
00:19:50,656 --> 00:19:51,651
Cap!
515
00:19:58,757 --> 00:20:01,164
You are no longer lost, Wade.
516
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:04,158
You can be a hero
among heroes.
517
00:20:04,294 --> 00:20:06,367
We've been surveilling you
for quite a while.
518
00:20:06,503 --> 00:20:09,570
- Subway station.
- A TVA outpost, yes.
519
00:20:10,736 --> 00:20:12,034
- And what is that?
- Hmm?
520
00:20:14,871 --> 00:20:16,379
Is that me? Is that Thor?
521
00:20:17,777 --> 00:20:19,511
- Is he crying?
- Uh, let's not
522
00:20:19,646 --> 00:20:20,876
- get ahead of ourselves.
- [gasps]
523
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:22,185
That happens
in the distant future.
524
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:24,079
Why is Thor crying?
Quick! Tell me.
525
00:20:24,214 --> 00:20:25,587
Do not speak to her.
Stop that. Eyes on me.
526
00:20:25,722 --> 00:20:28,015
I brought you here
to offer you an opportunity.
527
00:20:28,151 --> 00:20:30,017
The opportunity
you sought years ago,
528
00:20:30,153 --> 00:20:31,621
but for which
you were not ready.
529
00:20:31,756 --> 00:20:33,187
We believe you're ready now.
530
00:20:33,322 --> 00:20:35,298
Ready for a chance
to leave your timeline
531
00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:37,635
and join the greatest
universe of all.
532
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,664
I am about to
give you the thing
you've always wanted.
533
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,237
Oh, I smell
what you're steppin' in.
534
00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:42,731
The power
in the Marvel Universe
535
00:20:42,866 --> 00:20:44,099
is about to change forever.
536
00:20:46,209 --> 00:20:47,836
I am the Messiah...
537
00:20:47,972 --> 00:20:49,645
[♪ heavenly music building]
538
00:20:49,781 --> 00:20:52,074
I am...
539
00:20:53,243 --> 00:20:54,747
- [♪ music stops]
- ...Marvel Jesus.
540
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,581
Can you excuse me
for just a moment?
541
00:20:57,716 --> 00:20:59,213
I'm just gonna go over here.
542
00:21:02,389 --> 00:21:03,684
Suck it, Fox!
543
00:21:03,820 --> 00:21:04,993
I'm going to Disneyland.
544
00:21:05,129 --> 00:21:06,594
[grunts] Get fucked!
545
00:21:10,099 --> 00:21:11,025
Where do I sign?
546
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:12,159
Oh, there's no need
for paperwork.
547
00:21:12,294 --> 00:21:14,562
Good. Not to brag,
but I do not read.
548
00:21:14,698 --> 00:21:15,734
[chuckles] Oh.
549
00:21:15,870 --> 00:21:17,737
There is one thing
I will need, though.
550
00:21:20,344 --> 00:21:21,769
[♪ rousing music playing]
551
00:21:21,904 --> 00:21:24,408
[laughs] Oh, fuck off!
552
00:21:24,543 --> 00:21:26,482
Adorn me, Beardo.
553
00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:43,158
- [squeaks]
- [elevator dings]
554
00:21:44,694 --> 00:21:46,836
[♪ hip-hop music plays, Fergie
ft. Ludacris "Glamorous"]
555
00:21:46,971 --> 00:21:48,399
Fuckin' A!
556
00:21:48,535 --> 00:21:50,573
Uhh! It's perfect! FYI,
557
00:21:50,708 --> 00:21:53,876
your tailor is a predator,
but I love it. Snug.
558
00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:55,036
No camel toe.
559
00:21:55,172 --> 00:21:58,640
New car smell
and adamantium katanas?
560
00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:00,478
You shouldn't have.
561
00:22:00,613 --> 00:22:02,419
Go ahead. Take it in.
562
00:22:02,554 --> 00:22:05,189
And yes, your underwear
is getting tighter.
563
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:06,982
That guy knows
what I'm talking about.
564
00:22:07,117 --> 00:22:08,719
His clothes says
middle management,
565
00:22:08,854 --> 00:22:11,422
but his eyes say
fuck-y fuck-y.
566
00:22:11,558 --> 00:22:13,391
Yes. You look very nice.
567
00:22:13,526 --> 00:22:14,729
[Deadpool] "Nice"?
568
00:22:14,864 --> 00:22:16,562
Your buddy here is ready
to throw it all away for me.
569
00:22:16,697 --> 00:22:17,862
- You callin' your wife?
- HR.
570
00:22:17,998 --> 00:22:19,362
[Deadpool] Does your wife
work in HR?
571
00:22:19,497 --> 00:22:21,700
[Mr. Paradox] I'm really glad
you're taking this so well.
572
00:22:21,835 --> 00:22:23,441
[Deadpool]
Oh, I'm taking it well.
573
00:22:23,576 --> 00:22:26,003
I have never had a problem
traveling for work.
574
00:22:26,138 --> 00:22:28,171
That said,
we should talk vacation days.
575
00:22:28,306 --> 00:22:30,809
I'm more of a one-week-on-
one-week-off kind of guy.
576
00:22:30,945 --> 00:22:32,209
I think it's what they do
in Denmark.
577
00:22:32,344 --> 00:22:34,044
You know, you'll never see
a Danish flag on the moon,
578
00:22:34,179 --> 00:22:36,014
but [chuckles]
goddamn it, they're happy.
579
00:22:36,150 --> 00:22:38,746
Now, let's power up your
little Amazon Fire phone there
580
00:22:38,882 --> 00:22:40,250
and zip me back home
581
00:22:40,386 --> 00:22:42,254
so I can let my friends know
that they've been upgraded
582
00:22:42,390 --> 00:22:43,526
to disciples.
583
00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:46,397
Yeah. I don't think you...
quite understand.
584
00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:49,125
Um, you will not be returning
to your home
585
00:22:49,261 --> 00:22:51,626
because there will be
no home to return to.
586
00:22:51,761 --> 00:22:52,695
Come again?
587
00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:54,064
This time in my ears.
588
00:22:56,107 --> 00:22:57,266
[device beeps]
589
00:22:58,169 --> 00:23:01,302
This is your universe,
Mr. Wilson.
590
00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:03,004
That
591
00:23:03,139 --> 00:23:04,938
is what happens
when a universe
592
00:23:05,074 --> 00:23:07,174
loses their Anchor Being.
593
00:23:07,310 --> 00:23:09,377
See how it decays
from the inside?
594
00:23:09,512 --> 00:23:12,248
- This is how a reality dies.
- What's an Anchor Being?
595
00:23:12,383 --> 00:23:14,683
An Anchor Being is an entity
of such vital importance
596
00:23:14,819 --> 00:23:16,054
that when they die,
597
00:23:16,190 --> 00:23:19,288
their whole world slowly
withers out of existence.
598
00:23:19,424 --> 00:23:22,159
You've just won the lottery
because I didn't die.
599
00:23:22,294 --> 00:23:24,034
It was just a little midlife
crisis. I'm better now.
600
00:23:24,170 --> 00:23:26,536
Oh, no, no, no. [laughing]
601
00:23:28,701 --> 00:23:30,230
[Deadpool laughs along]
602
00:23:30,366 --> 00:23:33,070
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, I love to laugh.
603
00:23:33,205 --> 00:23:35,807
Can you imagine
if you were the Anchor Being?
604
00:23:35,943 --> 00:23:37,909
- [Deadpool, dully] Yeah.
- [laughs] Oh!
605
00:23:38,044 --> 00:23:40,550
- Yeah.
- No, it isn't you, Mr. Wilson.
606
00:23:41,252 --> 00:23:42,617
Your Anchor Being died
607
00:23:42,752 --> 00:23:45,884
in an act
of self-sacrifice so epic
608
00:23:46,020 --> 00:23:48,291
that it sent shivers
down the Timeline.
609
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:51,495
I am referring,
of course, to...
610
00:23:52,824 --> 00:23:56,599
Logan. The Wolverine.
611
00:24:00,035 --> 00:24:02,464
[weakly] Don't be
what they made you.
612
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,169
[♪ sentimental slow rock
music playing]
613
00:24:10,806 --> 00:24:12,241
[crying]
614
00:24:12,376 --> 00:24:15,112
Ah, so this is
what it feels like...
615
00:24:16,781 --> 00:24:17,983
[Deadpool] Logan.
616
00:24:18,716 --> 00:24:19,721
Of course.
617
00:24:20,387 --> 00:24:21,382
Logan.
618
00:24:23,018 --> 00:24:23,993
[Deadpool groans]
619
00:24:24,128 --> 00:24:25,558
[yelling] Logan?
620
00:24:25,694 --> 00:24:27,561
The guy with forks for hands?
621
00:24:27,697 --> 00:24:30,158
- That Wolverine?
- [device beeps]
622
00:24:30,293 --> 00:24:31,996
Yeah, I got it.
You can turn your
623
00:24:32,132 --> 00:24:34,338
retro graphics of death
off now. Make it stop.
624
00:24:34,474 --> 00:24:35,865
We're not doing it,
Mr. Wilson.
625
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,233
We certainly can't stop it.
626
00:24:39,303 --> 00:24:40,301
[Deadpool]
How long have we got?
627
00:24:40,436 --> 00:24:42,940
In most cases,
couple thousand years.
628
00:24:43,076 --> 00:24:44,205
- Well, sweet.
- Well, most cases
629
00:24:44,341 --> 00:24:46,680
aren't fast enough.
Not for me.
630
00:24:46,815 --> 00:24:47,812
[Deadpool]
What does that mean?
631
00:24:47,948 --> 00:24:50,014
It means
that I have been tasked
632
00:24:50,150 --> 00:24:52,485
with overseeing
the end of your universe.
633
00:24:52,620 --> 00:24:53,722
And regardless of what
634
00:24:53,857 --> 00:24:55,387
the pencil pushers upstairs
would prefer,
635
00:24:55,522 --> 00:24:56,859
I will not
636
00:24:56,995 --> 00:25:00,223
waste my life watching it die
slowly of natural causes.
637
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:02,390
We used to just prune
these things. Simple.
638
00:25:02,525 --> 00:25:04,392
Elegant. Efficient.
But I'm told the TVA
639
00:25:04,527 --> 00:25:06,934
doesn't like to do that
anymore. Well, I do.
640
00:25:07,069 --> 00:25:08,769
And no matter what
my so-called superiors say,
641
00:25:08,905 --> 00:25:11,404
the multiverse does not
need a babysitter.
642
00:25:11,540 --> 00:25:13,110
We need a mercy killer.
643
00:25:13,245 --> 00:25:14,837
And in this instance,
644
00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:18,208
I am the mercy killer. Ha!
645
00:25:19,513 --> 00:25:20,518
[chuckles]
646
00:25:21,582 --> 00:25:22,652
[device beeps]
647
00:25:22,787 --> 00:25:24,281
[Deadpool] What in
the MacGuffin is that?
648
00:25:24,416 --> 00:25:26,649
[Mr. Paradox] That's
a Time Ripper, Mr. Wilson.
649
00:25:26,785 --> 00:25:28,317
An accelerant.
650
00:25:28,452 --> 00:25:31,055
Once completed,
it will allow me to destroy
651
00:25:31,191 --> 00:25:33,124
the spacetime matrix
of your universe.
652
00:25:33,259 --> 00:25:35,462
You see, I don't want
to work for the TVA.
653
00:25:35,597 --> 00:25:37,361
I want to be the TVA.
654
00:25:37,497 --> 00:25:40,129
And the first step involves
showing this organization
655
00:25:40,264 --> 00:25:42,033
how much more efficient
it can become.
656
00:25:42,169 --> 00:25:43,900
To wit, I will be
giving your universe
657
00:25:44,036 --> 00:25:46,468
a swift and compassionate end.
658
00:25:46,604 --> 00:25:48,109
And don't worry, your friends
won't feel a thing.
659
00:25:48,244 --> 00:25:51,010
It'll be over just like this.
"Oh, what's that?" [groans]
660
00:25:51,611 --> 00:25:52,649
Trust me.
661
00:26:05,225 --> 00:26:07,561
You're gonna Old Yeller
my fucking universe?
662
00:26:07,696 --> 00:26:09,796
Mm... In your parlance, yes.
663
00:26:09,932 --> 00:26:11,228
Two in the heart,
one in the head.
664
00:26:11,363 --> 00:26:13,327
Look, Mr. Wilson,
you have two choices.
665
00:26:13,463 --> 00:26:14,867
You can either rejoin
your loved ones
666
00:26:15,003 --> 00:26:16,766
and collectively cease
to exist in,
667
00:26:16,902 --> 00:26:19,837
I'd say, 72 hours. Or...
668
00:26:19,973 --> 00:26:22,404
you join the Sacred Timeline.
669
00:26:22,539 --> 00:26:24,806
And you end your days
of insignificance
670
00:26:24,941 --> 00:26:27,082
and mediocrity.
671
00:26:27,217 --> 00:26:28,680
Wade.
672
00:26:28,815 --> 00:26:30,581
Wade, you can finally,
673
00:26:30,716 --> 00:26:33,250
finally matter.
674
00:26:37,423 --> 00:26:40,257
- [Hulk roars]
- [♪ sentimental music playing]
675
00:26:42,865 --> 00:26:44,901
That's all
I've ever really wanted.
676
00:26:45,037 --> 00:26:46,428
I know.
677
00:26:46,929 --> 00:26:48,770
I know.
678
00:26:48,906 --> 00:26:50,967
And you know I'm...
I'm nothing if not
679
00:26:51,102 --> 00:26:52,500
morally flexible. [chuckles]
680
00:26:52,936 --> 00:26:54,139
[chuckles]
681
00:26:54,872 --> 00:26:56,075
Yep, yep.
682
00:26:58,073 --> 00:26:59,214
I'll do it.
683
00:26:59,349 --> 00:27:00,409
Wise choice.
684
00:27:00,544 --> 00:27:02,016
The Sacred Timeline's happy
to have you.
685
00:27:02,151 --> 00:27:03,280
[Deadpool] I was actually
talking about finding
686
00:27:03,416 --> 00:27:05,183
the Wolverine and breaking
your fucking nose.
687
00:27:05,948 --> 00:27:07,152
[groans]
688
00:27:08,555 --> 00:27:09,994
[♪ soft rock music plays,
Goo Goo Dolls "Iris"]
689
00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:12,656
♪ And I'd give up forever
to touch you ♪
690
00:27:12,791 --> 00:27:16,727
♪ 'Cause I know
that you feel me somehow ♪
691
00:27:16,862 --> 00:27:18,064
[♪ song stops]
692
00:27:18,865 --> 00:27:21,132
Find him. Find him!
693
00:27:21,267 --> 00:27:23,172
[Deadpool]
And boy, did he ever.
694
00:27:23,307 --> 00:27:24,837
[grunting]
695
00:27:24,972 --> 00:27:26,501
Which brings us back to this.
696
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,639
The desecration
of the sacred corpse.
697
00:27:30,775 --> 00:27:33,574
- [♪ dramatic music playing]
- [yelling and grunting]
698
00:27:34,849 --> 00:27:36,544
- Oh, my God!
- [yells]
699
00:27:37,554 --> 00:27:40,487
Oh! My own fucking arm!
700
00:27:40,622 --> 00:27:41,690
[soldier 1 yells]
701
00:27:41,826 --> 00:27:43,485
- [soldier 1 screams]
- [grunting]
702
00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:45,119
- [soldier 1 screaming]
- Now we're talkin'!
703
00:27:45,255 --> 00:27:46,658
[soldier 1] Not like this!
704
00:27:46,793 --> 00:27:48,864
No, dear God! No!
705
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,026
[Deadpool] I'm sorry!
Wolverine-ing is hard!
706
00:27:51,162 --> 00:27:52,467
[soldier 2] Make it stop!
707
00:27:52,603 --> 00:27:53,698
[Deadpool] Mangold tried.
708
00:27:53,834 --> 00:27:55,706
[soldiers screaming]
709
00:27:56,605 --> 00:27:58,571
You sick fuck!
710
00:27:58,706 --> 00:27:59,972
Logan was a hero.
711
00:28:00,107 --> 00:28:01,576
And the only thing
worth a shit
712
00:28:01,711 --> 00:28:03,077
to ever come out of Canada.
713
00:28:03,646 --> 00:28:04,605
[soldier 1 cries out]
714
00:28:05,208 --> 00:28:06,409
[soldier 2 screams]
715
00:28:10,855 --> 00:28:12,949
[Deadpool]
Get my country's name
716
00:28:13,085 --> 00:28:15,286
out of your fuckin' mouth.
717
00:28:16,187 --> 00:28:18,058
And my sword. Give me that.
718
00:28:20,331 --> 00:28:21,224
[exhales]
719
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,658
Oh, I gotta find me
another Logan.
720
00:28:24,094 --> 00:28:25,329
An alive one.
721
00:28:25,464 --> 00:28:28,334
Don't get up, guys.
I'll see myself out.
722
00:28:28,470 --> 00:28:31,203
[♪ synth rock music playing,
"The Power of Love"]
723
00:28:35,411 --> 00:28:36,406
Logan!
724
00:28:39,916 --> 00:28:41,719
I'm gonna need you
to come with me.
725
00:28:42,849 --> 00:28:44,051
Who's asking?
726
00:28:44,852 --> 00:28:46,054
[♪ music stops]
727
00:28:46,189 --> 00:28:48,021
[Deadpool] Oh, look at
this little Hairy Lou Retton.
728
00:28:48,157 --> 00:28:49,991
Did you stick the landing,
little guy?
729
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:51,493
Yes, you did!
730
00:28:51,629 --> 00:28:53,187
Comic-accurate short king.
731
00:28:53,323 --> 00:28:55,630
Such a cute wittle Wolvie.
732
00:28:55,766 --> 00:28:57,295
Cue the fuckin' montage, baby.
733
00:28:57,430 --> 00:28:59,030
- [♪ synth rock music resumes]
- Ahoy!
734
00:28:59,165 --> 00:29:01,337
Everything seems
to be on fire.
735
00:29:01,472 --> 00:29:03,004
You have a dragon?
736
00:29:03,140 --> 00:29:05,604
Ooh, you have Anchor Being
written all over--
737
00:29:05,739 --> 00:29:07,470
[grunting]
738
00:29:08,544 --> 00:29:09,937
[growling]
739
00:29:10,073 --> 00:29:13,248
♪ Make a one man weep,
make another man sing ♪
740
00:29:13,851 --> 00:29:15,382
♪ Change a hawk...♪
741
00:29:15,517 --> 00:29:16,544
Patch!
742
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,757
- [engine revving]
- Oh, now we're talkin'.
743
00:29:20,457 --> 00:29:22,056
Oh, yeah.
744
00:29:22,191 --> 00:29:24,322
That's the whole goddamn
package right there.
745
00:29:25,329 --> 00:29:26,356
Howdy!
746
00:29:26,492 --> 00:29:28,932
I'm just... I'm auditioning
Anchor Beings.
747
00:29:29,067 --> 00:29:31,692
Oh. Yeah, that's gonna need
some coconut oil.
748
00:29:33,502 --> 00:29:34,534
[grunts]
749
00:29:34,670 --> 00:29:35,866
[crow cawing]
750
00:29:36,001 --> 00:29:38,067
What in the fuck?
751
00:29:38,202 --> 00:29:39,976
[laughs] Are you okay?
752
00:29:40,412 --> 00:29:41,337
Oh, yes, yes.
753
00:29:41,473 --> 00:29:43,242
Classic John Byrne
brown and tan.
754
00:29:43,377 --> 00:29:45,209
Now, you fought the Hulk
in this outfit. No?
755
00:29:45,345 --> 00:29:47,279
- [deep growl]
- [♪ song stops]
756
00:29:48,216 --> 00:29:49,880
I'm Marvel Jesus,
you dull creature,
757
00:29:50,016 --> 00:29:51,251
and I will not-- [yells]
758
00:29:51,387 --> 00:29:52,680
- [Deadpool groans]
- [♪ song resumes playing]
759
00:29:53,589 --> 00:29:55,056
[grunting]
760
00:29:57,994 --> 00:30:00,558
- [thunder rumbles]
- [groaning]
761
00:30:00,694 --> 00:30:03,526
It's not you. We're just going
in a different direction.
762
00:30:05,535 --> 00:30:06,634
[engine revving]
763
00:30:06,769 --> 00:30:07,737
You know, from behind,
764
00:30:07,873 --> 00:30:08,870
you look a little bit
like Henry--
765
00:30:09,006 --> 00:30:10,300
- Oh, my fuck!
- [♪ song stops]
766
00:30:10,436 --> 00:30:13,603
The Cavillrine.
The legends are true.
767
00:30:13,738 --> 00:30:16,644
And may I say, sir,
on behalf of all humanity,
768
00:30:16,779 --> 00:30:18,615
this just feels right.
769
00:30:18,751 --> 00:30:20,179
We will treat you
so much better
770
00:30:20,315 --> 00:30:21,511
than those shit fucks
down the street.
771
00:30:21,646 --> 00:30:23,821
- You were just leavin'.
- [Deadpool] No, sir.
772
00:30:23,956 --> 00:30:25,449
Not while the fate
of my universe is at--
773
00:30:27,722 --> 00:30:28,716
[man grunts]
774
00:30:29,284 --> 00:30:30,020
[choking]
775
00:30:30,156 --> 00:30:31,591
This one looks promising.
776
00:30:31,726 --> 00:30:33,028
Down you go.
777
00:30:34,466 --> 00:30:35,427
[Logan] Again.
778
00:30:36,297 --> 00:30:38,458
I told you.
You're not welcome here.
779
00:30:38,593 --> 00:30:39,933
You're not welcome anywhere.
780
00:30:40,068 --> 00:30:41,268
Now get the fuck
out of my bar.
781
00:30:41,403 --> 00:30:43,939
Just give me one more drink
and then I'll leave.
782
00:30:44,074 --> 00:30:45,765
[bartender] That's not
how it works.
783
00:30:45,901 --> 00:30:48,003
[Deadpool] It does now.
Leave the bottle.
784
00:30:48,138 --> 00:30:49,105
I know you, bub?
785
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,711
Nope. But I know you.
786
00:30:51,847 --> 00:30:53,312
Everybody knows me.
787
00:30:54,783 --> 00:30:55,813
I'm the Wolverine.
788
00:30:55,949 --> 00:30:58,219
Yes, you are.
789
00:30:58,354 --> 00:31:00,451
And I'm gonna need you
to come with me right now.
790
00:31:01,784 --> 00:31:03,089
Look, lady,
I'm not interested.
791
00:31:03,225 --> 00:31:04,526
Really gettin'
into your cups here.
792
00:31:04,662 --> 00:31:06,193
Why would I go with you?
793
00:31:07,159 --> 00:31:08,925
Because, unfortunately,
794
00:31:09,060 --> 00:31:10,364
I need you,
795
00:31:10,500 --> 00:31:14,499
and even more unfortunately,
my entire world needs you.
796
00:31:15,168 --> 00:31:16,731
You two gonna fuck or fight?
797
00:31:20,713 --> 00:31:22,039
You gonna take that from him?
798
00:31:22,175 --> 00:31:23,607
- Yep.
- [scoffs]
799
00:31:23,742 --> 00:31:25,772
I can tell you have a sort
of don't-get-too-close-
800
00:31:25,908 --> 00:31:27,583
I'll-only-break-your-heart
vibe going here,
801
00:31:27,719 --> 00:31:28,652
but every other Wolverine
802
00:31:28,787 --> 00:31:29,984
would've really hurt me
by now.
803
00:31:30,119 --> 00:31:31,218
And I'm sort of
on the tick-tick.
804
00:31:31,353 --> 00:31:32,721
- So, upsy-daisy. Here we go.
- Whoa, whoa.
805
00:31:32,857 --> 00:31:33,786
- Up you go.
- Hey, hey!
806
00:31:33,922 --> 00:31:35,123
I got you, big guy.
807
00:31:36,427 --> 00:31:37,422
Oh.
808
00:31:38,862 --> 00:31:39,963
Whiskey dick of the claws.
809
00:31:40,098 --> 00:31:41,530
It's quite common
in Wolverines over 40.
810
00:31:41,666 --> 00:31:42,757
You don't want this.
811
00:31:42,892 --> 00:31:45,230
You're right. I don't.
And you don't want this.
812
00:31:45,365 --> 00:31:46,834
Unless you wanna
take a deep breath
813
00:31:46,970 --> 00:31:48,065
through your fuckin' forehead,
814
00:31:48,201 --> 00:31:50,297
I suggest you reconsider.
815
00:31:50,432 --> 00:31:51,502
Let's go, peanut.
816
00:31:53,775 --> 00:31:55,809
[laughing]
817
00:31:55,945 --> 00:31:57,981
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
818
00:31:58,516 --> 00:31:59,510
Watch this.
819
00:32:00,509 --> 00:32:02,513
All right. That-- Whoa.
820
00:32:02,948 --> 00:32:04,152
Easy.
821
00:32:07,690 --> 00:32:09,123
Good God.
822
00:32:09,259 --> 00:32:11,258
Thirsty little honey badger,
aren't ya?
823
00:32:12,191 --> 00:32:13,820
It's okay. Keep goin'.
824
00:32:13,956 --> 00:32:16,032
Audiences are accustomed
to long run times.
825
00:32:16,930 --> 00:32:19,332
[grunts, groans]
826
00:32:19,933 --> 00:32:21,265
[body thuds]
827
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,670
[sighs]
Guess you'll have to do.
828
00:32:23,805 --> 00:32:25,008
Okay, here we--
829
00:32:25,975 --> 00:32:28,811
Oh! Look at those jammies.
830
00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:32,144
That only took
20 fucking years.
831
00:32:32,279 --> 00:32:34,440
One Anchor Being
coming right up!
832
00:32:34,576 --> 00:32:36,750
On your left, baby girl.
833
00:32:36,886 --> 00:32:37,955
This Logan has the same
834
00:32:38,090 --> 00:32:40,154
he-can-do-anything-
even-musicals look.
835
00:32:40,290 --> 00:32:42,254
And bonus, he's actually
wearing a costume
836
00:32:42,390 --> 00:32:43,517
like he's not
embarrassed to be
837
00:32:43,653 --> 00:32:44,923
in a superhero movie for once.
838
00:32:45,059 --> 00:32:46,586
I don't understand.
839
00:32:46,722 --> 00:32:47,889
You said my universe is dying
840
00:32:48,024 --> 00:32:50,297
because this sack of nuts
got himself killed.
841
00:32:50,432 --> 00:32:52,960
Well, problem solved.
- My God.
842
00:32:53,095 --> 00:32:57,407
You actually think you can
replace an Anchor Being
843
00:32:57,542 --> 00:32:59,407
with this?
844
00:32:59,543 --> 00:33:02,008
I wouldn't have accepted
any other Wolverine, BT dubs.
845
00:33:02,144 --> 00:33:04,045
But you have outdone yourself
846
00:33:04,181 --> 00:33:06,211
and brought me
the worst Wolverine!
847
00:33:06,347 --> 00:33:07,516
What do you mean,
the worst one?
848
00:33:07,651 --> 00:33:09,018
Mr. Wilson.
849
00:33:09,154 --> 00:33:13,012
This Wolverine let down
his entire world.
850
00:33:13,148 --> 00:33:15,425
He's the stuff of legend,
but not in a good way.
851
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:16,689
And what he did,
852
00:33:16,824 --> 00:33:18,094
well,
853
00:33:18,229 --> 00:33:20,525
some things are just
beyond forgiveness.
854
00:33:22,830 --> 00:33:24,157
Okay.
855
00:33:24,293 --> 00:33:27,002
How do I... How do I make
this right? I'll do anything.
856
00:33:27,138 --> 00:33:29,996
I gave you
a chance at greatness.
857
00:33:30,131 --> 00:33:32,634
Because my superiors
deemed you "special."
858
00:33:32,769 --> 00:33:34,137
Clearly not special
in a good way.
859
00:33:34,273 --> 00:33:35,208
Apparently you have some
860
00:33:35,343 --> 00:33:37,404
important future purpose
to serve.
861
00:33:37,540 --> 00:33:38,515
With Thor. He holds me.
862
00:33:38,650 --> 00:33:40,346
But I did my duty.
863
00:33:40,482 --> 00:33:42,413
I gave you the opportunity
to be somebody.
864
00:33:42,549 --> 00:33:44,418
And instead of
accepting my offering
865
00:33:44,553 --> 00:33:46,919
with humility and gratitude,
you broke my nose.
866
00:33:47,055 --> 00:33:48,023
[sighs] It looks great.
867
00:33:48,159 --> 00:33:49,959
And you decimated
dozens of my men
868
00:33:50,094 --> 00:33:51,590
with the exhumed corpse
of a hero.
869
00:33:51,725 --> 00:33:53,961
Dishonoring not only
his remains but his memory.
870
00:33:54,096 --> 00:33:55,323
What are you, the Internet?
871
00:33:55,459 --> 00:33:57,600
Your world is dying!
872
00:33:57,736 --> 00:33:58,999
Thank you very much.
873
00:33:59,134 --> 00:34:00,433
And there's no stopping it.
874
00:34:02,470 --> 00:34:04,068
[muffled]
The humane thing to do
875
00:34:04,204 --> 00:34:05,206
is to make it quick.
876
00:34:05,341 --> 00:34:07,104
Is the thought
of vaporizing my universe
877
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:08,402
making you peckish?
878
00:34:08,538 --> 00:34:09,840
I'm eating my feelings.
879
00:34:09,976 --> 00:34:11,214
I'm about to lose everything
that I've ever cared about
880
00:34:11,350 --> 00:34:14,374
because that hairy thundercunt
from down undercunt
881
00:34:14,510 --> 00:34:15,646
finally dies,
882
00:34:15,782 --> 00:34:17,987
and he's standing
right behind me, isn't he?
883
00:34:18,123 --> 00:34:19,989
Welcome to the MCU,
by the way.
884
00:34:20,125 --> 00:34:22,190
You're joining at a bit
of a low point.
885
00:34:22,326 --> 00:34:24,257
As for you,
I wanna talk to your boss.
886
00:34:24,393 --> 00:34:25,687
I want you to get him
on the phone
887
00:34:25,823 --> 00:34:27,722
and you tell him,
her, or them,
888
00:34:27,858 --> 00:34:30,166
that Marvel H. Christ
isn't playing.
889
00:34:35,464 --> 00:34:36,469
Holy shit.
890
00:34:37,138 --> 00:34:38,975
I just heard a symphony
891
00:34:39,111 --> 00:34:40,939
of buttholes clenching
all at once.
892
00:34:41,074 --> 00:34:42,178
You're off grid.
893
00:34:42,313 --> 00:34:43,536
Your bosses don't know
what you sick fucks
894
00:34:43,672 --> 00:34:44,604
are doing down here.
895
00:34:44,740 --> 00:34:45,773
Well, I'll tell you what.
896
00:34:45,909 --> 00:34:47,750
I have a black belt
in Karen...
897
00:34:47,886 --> 00:34:49,075
And I'm gonna go upstairs
898
00:34:49,210 --> 00:34:51,550
and I'm gonna tell 'em
all about you and your--
899
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,020
Oh, silence is nice, isn't it?
900
00:34:54,156 --> 00:34:55,190
Where the fuck did he go?
901
00:34:55,326 --> 00:34:57,151
To the trash heap.
You'll fit right in.
902
00:34:57,287 --> 00:34:58,791
[growls]
903
00:34:58,926 --> 00:35:00,125
Whew.
904
00:35:00,261 --> 00:35:01,725
That was close. [chuckles]
905
00:35:04,936 --> 00:35:07,368
[muffled rhythmic thumping]
906
00:35:10,975 --> 00:35:13,176
[muffled footsteps thumping]
907
00:35:17,308 --> 00:35:18,544
[groaning]
908
00:35:22,519 --> 00:35:24,984
[Deadpool] Don't just
stand there, you ape.
909
00:35:25,119 --> 00:35:27,057
Give me a hand up.
910
00:35:27,192 --> 00:35:28,985
- [claws clang]
- Nope. I'm actually okay.
911
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,293
- Thank you very much. [groans]
- [Wolverine grunting]
912
00:35:32,329 --> 00:35:33,394
[Wolverine]
Where the hell are we?
913
00:35:33,529 --> 00:35:35,857
[Deadpool] I don't know.
Looks kind of Mad Max-y.
914
00:35:35,993 --> 00:35:37,897
But that would be
IP infringement, right?
915
00:35:38,033 --> 00:35:39,166
Fucking jokes.
916
00:35:39,302 --> 00:35:40,933
- [grunts]
- [Deadpool yelps]
917
00:35:41,069 --> 00:35:42,629
[bones crack]
918
00:35:42,764 --> 00:35:44,073
[Deadpool] Fuck! Fuck.
919
00:35:44,209 --> 00:35:45,572
Were you even listening
back there?
920
00:35:45,707 --> 00:35:48,570
If we don't make it back
to that Mr. Paradox asshole,
921
00:35:48,706 --> 00:35:49,943
everyone I know is gonna die.
922
00:35:50,079 --> 00:35:51,813
Not my fuckin' problem.
923
00:35:51,949 --> 00:35:53,977
Oh, is that all you got?
924
00:35:54,112 --> 00:35:56,286
Is that what you said
when your world went to shit?
925
00:35:57,156 --> 00:35:59,449
[breathing heavily]
Come again?
926
00:35:59,584 --> 00:36:01,484
Yeah, I heard all about you.
927
00:36:01,620 --> 00:36:03,584
How you screwed up everything.
928
00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:04,788
You should be thankin' me
929
00:36:04,923 --> 00:36:06,459
for pulling you out
of that bed you shit in.
930
00:36:06,595 --> 00:36:08,761
[groans] You back-stabbing
son of a bitch!
931
00:36:08,897 --> 00:36:10,200
[yells]
932
00:36:13,364 --> 00:36:14,761
[shouts, groans]
933
00:36:14,897 --> 00:36:16,137
Are you ready to be calm now?
934
00:36:16,273 --> 00:36:18,208
- [grunts]
- [Deadpool yelps]
935
00:36:20,975 --> 00:36:22,179
[groans]
936
00:36:23,378 --> 00:36:25,613
Rest in pieces, Fox. [grunts]
937
00:36:25,749 --> 00:36:28,476
[♪ tense song intro playing,
AC/DC "Hells Bells"]
938
00:36:28,611 --> 00:36:30,319
[bird screeching]
939
00:36:40,528 --> 00:36:42,331
I don't want to fight you, peanut.
940
00:36:43,298 --> 00:36:44,958
Doesn't matter what you did.
941
00:36:45,093 --> 00:36:46,764
- I just need your help.
- [grunts]
942
00:36:48,038 --> 00:36:49,701
I don't fuckin' care.
943
00:36:50,940 --> 00:36:52,808
Uh... Uh-oh.
944
00:36:52,943 --> 00:36:54,376
[breathes heavily]
945
00:36:58,313 --> 00:37:00,976
Fuck. This is gonna hurt.
946
00:37:04,921 --> 00:37:06,389
All right.
947
00:37:06,658 --> 00:37:08,115
Fuck it.
948
00:37:08,250 --> 00:37:10,051
Let's give the people
what they came for.
949
00:37:10,186 --> 00:37:12,988
- [♪ song stops]
- Let's fuckin' go.
950
00:37:13,925 --> 00:37:15,930
Get your special sock out, nerds.
951
00:37:16,066 --> 00:37:18,125
It's gonna get good.
952
00:37:18,703 --> 00:37:20,028
[grunts]
953
00:37:25,369 --> 00:37:26,806
[♪ hard rock music playing,
AC/DC "Hells Bells"]
954
00:37:26,942 --> 00:37:28,201
[growls]
955
00:37:29,407 --> 00:37:30,709
[gunshots]
956
00:37:39,087 --> 00:37:40,686
[both grunting]
957
00:37:43,288 --> 00:37:44,294
[groans]
958
00:37:50,868 --> 00:37:51,793
[screams]
959
00:37:51,928 --> 00:37:53,633
♪ Hell's bells ♪
960
00:37:55,574 --> 00:37:58,307
♪ I'll give you
black sensations ♪
961
00:37:58,442 --> 00:38:01,205
♪ Up and down your spine ♪
962
00:38:01,340 --> 00:38:04,781
♪ If you're into evil,
you're a friend of mine ♪
963
00:38:04,916 --> 00:38:08,042
♪ See my white light flashing
as I split the night ♪
964
00:38:08,178 --> 00:38:10,078
- [grunts, growls]
- [Deadpool chuckles] Ew.
965
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,414
Gotcha!
966
00:38:12,550 --> 00:38:16,020
♪ I got my bell, I'm gonna
take you to hell ♪
967
00:38:16,156 --> 00:38:18,456
♪ I'm gonna get you,
Satan get you ♪
968
00:38:18,592 --> 00:38:20,154
- Baby Knife!
- [groans]
969
00:38:23,928 --> 00:38:24,966
- [screams]
- Let's see you grow
970
00:38:25,102 --> 00:38:26,260
your fuckin' head back.
971
00:38:26,395 --> 00:38:28,096
Wait, wait, wait!
I can fix it! I can fix it.
972
00:38:28,231 --> 00:38:30,340
- Fix what?
- Whatever it is that you did.
973
00:38:31,109 --> 00:38:32,574
Whatever made you so bad.
974
00:38:33,010 --> 00:38:34,309
Those... Those
975
00:38:34,445 --> 00:38:37,007
pricks in the TVA.
You heard him.
976
00:38:38,010 --> 00:38:39,140
They have the power
to end my universe,
977
00:38:39,276 --> 00:38:42,616
but they also have
the power to change yours.
978
00:38:44,182 --> 00:38:47,317
We get back there,
and we can fix your world.
979
00:38:47,452 --> 00:38:48,622
Together.
980
00:38:49,894 --> 00:38:51,152
I promise.
981
00:38:52,556 --> 00:38:53,759
They can fix it.
982
00:38:54,866 --> 00:38:56,065
[man] Hey!
983
00:38:56,201 --> 00:38:58,199
We fight each other, we lose.
984
00:38:58,335 --> 00:38:59,630
[Deadpool] Dear God, it's him.
985
00:38:59,765 --> 00:39:02,032
- Who?
- [Deadpool] The one.
986
00:39:02,167 --> 00:39:04,969
The superhero equivalent
to comfort food, or Molly.
987
00:39:05,104 --> 00:39:07,636
White guys' answer
to all the disappointments.
988
00:39:07,771 --> 00:39:08,977
And another A-lister.
989
00:39:09,113 --> 00:39:10,404
Fair warning, gorgeous.
990
00:39:10,539 --> 00:39:12,482
You're going to encounter
some indelicate language,
991
00:39:12,617 --> 00:39:15,051
a smidge of ass play,
but we've been prohibited
992
00:39:15,187 --> 00:39:16,947
from using cocaine. On camera.
993
00:39:17,083 --> 00:39:19,215
- [man] They're coming.
- [Deadpool] Who's "they"?
994
00:39:19,350 --> 00:39:21,721
- [engines revving]
- [♪ menacing music playing]
995
00:39:25,988 --> 00:39:27,529
Oh, they're driving angry.
996
00:39:32,496 --> 00:39:33,401
[grunts]
997
00:39:33,536 --> 00:39:35,127
Now that's
a superhero landing.
998
00:39:35,263 --> 00:39:37,473
[♪ menacing music continues]
999
00:39:40,969 --> 00:39:42,273
[♪ music stops]
1000
00:39:42,408 --> 00:39:43,509
I got this.
1001
00:39:43,644 --> 00:39:45,646
[♪ menacing music resumes]
1002
00:39:49,953 --> 00:39:51,146
[sniffs]
1003
00:39:55,884 --> 00:39:57,317
[engines revving]
1004
00:40:07,334 --> 00:40:08,467
Stay close.
1005
00:40:08,602 --> 00:40:09,736
[Deadpool] Aye, aye, Cap'n.
1006
00:40:11,042 --> 00:40:12,233
You got this.
1007
00:40:14,307 --> 00:40:18,041
Cassandra is gonna be giddy
when she sees what we caught.
1008
00:40:18,874 --> 00:40:19,840
You can't run.
1009
00:40:19,975 --> 00:40:21,142
Everybody knows that.
1010
00:40:21,277 --> 00:40:23,576
You see anyone runnin',
dick for brains?
1011
00:40:24,479 --> 00:40:26,218
You're not gonna love
what happens next.
1012
00:40:26,353 --> 00:40:28,249
- [Deadpool] Oh. Oh, my God.
- [♪ rousing music playing]
1013
00:40:28,384 --> 00:40:30,588
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, he's gonna say it.
1014
00:40:30,724 --> 00:40:31,655
- Ah! Fuck.
- [Deadpool] Ha!
1015
00:40:31,791 --> 00:40:33,219
Oh, my God! He's gonna say it!
1016
00:40:33,355 --> 00:40:34,990
- Say what?
- Avengers, assemble...
1017
00:40:35,126 --> 00:40:36,565
- Flame on!
- I'm sorry, what now?
1018
00:40:38,962 --> 00:40:41,163
[♪ epic music playing]
1019
00:40:52,677 --> 00:40:54,484
[groans, panting]
1020
00:40:56,154 --> 00:40:58,350
[screaming in distance]
1021
00:40:58,485 --> 00:40:59,756
- [clang]
- Ohh!
1022
00:40:59,891 --> 00:41:01,120
Fuck!
1023
00:41:01,255 --> 00:41:02,250
Ahhh!
1024
00:41:02,817 --> 00:41:04,022
[grunts]
1025
00:41:05,192 --> 00:41:07,391
- We don't know that guy.
- [Deadpool] We thought we did.
1026
00:41:07,526 --> 00:41:09,499
I know you.
1027
00:41:09,634 --> 00:41:11,666
- [Deadpool] Holy sh--
- [Sabretooth snarls]
1028
00:41:12,299 --> 00:41:13,232
[growls]
1029
00:41:13,367 --> 00:41:14,362
Sabretooth.
1030
00:41:14,798 --> 00:41:16,000
Your brother.
1031
00:41:16,734 --> 00:41:18,399
Ready to die?
1032
00:41:18,534 --> 00:41:21,203
[Deadpool] Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait! Time!
1033
00:41:21,806 --> 00:41:23,303
You look ridiculous.
1034
00:41:23,439 --> 00:41:25,975
People have waited decades
for this fight.
1035
00:41:26,111 --> 00:41:27,878
It's not gonna be easy.
Baby Knife.
1036
00:41:28,014 --> 00:41:29,812
Shoot the double,
you take him down.
1037
00:41:29,948 --> 00:41:31,944
Side control, then full mount,
1038
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:33,347
and you ground and pound
1039
00:41:33,482 --> 00:41:35,051
till he makes no sound
because he's dead.
1040
00:41:35,187 --> 00:41:37,051
- Shut the fuck up!
- [Deadpool] Oh, my God!
1041
00:41:37,187 --> 00:41:39,523
Okay. Good luck.
I'm a huge fan.
1042
00:41:39,659 --> 00:41:41,157
[breathing heavily]
1043
00:41:42,659 --> 00:41:43,698
[laughs]
1044
00:41:44,793 --> 00:41:46,131
[roars]
1045
00:41:46,267 --> 00:41:47,669
[roars]
1046
00:41:51,676 --> 00:41:53,104
- [gurgling]
- [Deadpool] What is it, girl?
1047
00:41:53,240 --> 00:41:55,138
- Is there trouble at the well?
- [flesh squelching]
1048
00:41:59,943 --> 00:42:01,509
[laughs] Big trouble.
1049
00:42:01,645 --> 00:42:03,209
Behold!
1050
00:42:03,345 --> 00:42:06,448
The head
of your precious queen,
1051
00:42:06,584 --> 00:42:07,590
Furiosa!
1052
00:42:08,721 --> 00:42:10,455
I have the Wolverine!
1053
00:42:10,591 --> 00:42:13,655
I alone control her!
1054
00:42:13,790 --> 00:42:15,988
You come for me,
1055
00:42:16,123 --> 00:42:18,634
you come for her.
1056
00:42:20,232 --> 00:42:22,033
So sorry.
I know it's pronounced "him."
1057
00:42:22,168 --> 00:42:23,940
I'm gender blind.
It's my cross to bear.
1058
00:42:24,075 --> 00:42:25,404
Who's next?
1059
00:42:25,540 --> 00:42:26,569
- Toad!
- [snarls]
1060
00:42:26,704 --> 00:42:28,006
You're up.
1061
00:42:30,608 --> 00:42:31,772
[yells]
1062
00:42:31,907 --> 00:42:33,077
[both grunt]
1063
00:42:34,977 --> 00:42:35,911
[Deadpool] Uh-oh.
1064
00:42:36,046 --> 00:42:37,315
- Oh, holy sh--
- Fuck.
1065
00:42:37,450 --> 00:42:38,445
[thud]
1066
00:42:39,851 --> 00:42:41,756
[creatures squeaking]
1067
00:42:46,155 --> 00:42:48,126
[Deadpool groans, mumbles]
1068
00:42:48,762 --> 00:42:50,259
[Deadpool] God of Thunder.
1069
00:42:51,796 --> 00:42:52,998
[Deadpool grunts]
1070
00:42:54,063 --> 00:42:55,501
How long was I asleep?
1071
00:42:55,637 --> 00:42:57,165
Not all of you was asleep.
1072
00:42:57,301 --> 00:42:58,801
- [Deadpool grunts]
- Don't bother.
1073
00:42:58,936 --> 00:43:01,104
They're very thorough.
1074
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:03,470
If you know where we are,
start talking.
1075
00:43:04,073 --> 00:43:05,643
You're in The Void.
1076
00:43:05,779 --> 00:43:07,747
Think of it as purgatory.
1077
00:43:07,883 --> 00:43:10,110
Reed called it
a metaphysical junkyard.
1078
00:43:10,245 --> 00:43:11,718
Where anything useless goes
1079
00:43:11,854 --> 00:43:13,954
before it gets
annihilated forever.
1080
00:43:14,089 --> 00:43:16,822
And where the TVA sends
people that don't play nice
1081
00:43:16,958 --> 00:43:17,985
with the rest
of the multiverse.
1082
00:43:18,121 --> 00:43:19,760
- Like you?
- And you.
1083
00:43:19,896 --> 00:43:21,389
[Deadpool] What does
the annihilating?
1084
00:43:21,857 --> 00:43:22,795
Alioth.
1085
00:43:22,930 --> 00:43:24,258
[Deadpool]
Alioth is in this thing?
1086
00:43:24,394 --> 00:43:26,361
From Loki,
Season 1, Episode 5?
1087
00:43:26,496 --> 00:43:28,661
Everyone here
is on the run from Alioth.
1088
00:43:29,197 --> 00:43:30,768
Most don't make it.
1089
00:43:30,904 --> 00:43:32,840
There's a resistance, though.
1090
00:43:32,975 --> 00:43:35,908
Other people like us
that managed to survive.
1091
00:43:36,044 --> 00:43:37,306
They're hidin' out
in the borderlands,
1092
00:43:37,441 --> 00:43:39,775
trying to find a way
the fuck outta here.
1093
00:43:39,911 --> 00:43:41,174
Then that's where we go.
1094
00:43:41,309 --> 00:43:43,178
[Deadpool] "We"? Us? A team?
1095
00:43:43,313 --> 00:43:45,347
The answer is yes.
Shake on it.
1096
00:43:45,950 --> 00:43:47,085
Fuck! You nicked it.
1097
00:43:47,220 --> 00:43:49,154
Just got the tip with
your little steak knife.
1098
00:43:49,289 --> 00:43:51,358
These "others" can help us
get back to the TVA.
1099
00:43:51,494 --> 00:43:52,426
Make 'em fix things.
1100
00:43:52,561 --> 00:43:54,626
[laughs sardonically]
1101
00:43:54,761 --> 00:43:56,126
Something funny, bub?
1102
00:43:56,262 --> 00:43:57,924
She might have somethin'
to say about that.
1103
00:43:58,059 --> 00:43:59,328
Who's "she"?
1104
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:01,700
In The Void,
1105
00:44:01,836 --> 00:44:03,530
you're either food for Alioth
1106
00:44:04,199 --> 00:44:06,134
or you work for her.
1107
00:44:06,269 --> 00:44:08,469
[♪ stirring music playing]
1108
00:44:18,355 --> 00:44:19,414
[engine roars]
1109
00:44:27,858 --> 00:44:29,226
[metal creaking]
1110
00:44:30,027 --> 00:44:31,459
[heavy metallic thud]
1111
00:44:38,902 --> 00:44:40,567
[engine roaring]
1112
00:44:51,687 --> 00:44:54,020
[♪ tense music playing]
1113
00:45:02,991 --> 00:45:04,364
[grunts]
1114
00:45:04,499 --> 00:45:05,658
[growls quietly]
1115
00:45:06,467 --> 00:45:07,462
[grunts]
1116
00:45:18,508 --> 00:45:20,607
[Deadpool] Huh.
Paul Rudd finally aged.
1117
00:45:21,544 --> 00:45:23,214
Oh, you must be
this year's Juggernaut.
1118
00:45:23,349 --> 00:45:24,981
- Thank you.
- I'd keep your voices down.
1119
00:45:25,116 --> 00:45:26,421
She don't like the chatter.
1120
00:45:26,556 --> 00:45:27,757
She's gonna love you.
1121
00:45:29,156 --> 00:45:31,354
[♪ slow dramatic
music building]
1122
00:45:43,874 --> 00:45:45,507
[Deadpool] Is it...
Is that Charles?
1123
00:45:45,642 --> 00:45:47,771
Hey... Hey, Chuck! It's us!
1124
00:45:47,906 --> 00:45:49,145
That's not Chuck.
1125
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:50,472
Ah, shit.
1126
00:45:51,847 --> 00:45:53,179
[Deadpool] Oh, ableism. Great.
1127
00:45:53,314 --> 00:45:55,745
That's not gonna go over well
with the woke mob.
1128
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:57,818
A Wolverine.
1129
00:45:57,954 --> 00:46:00,383
I wondered when
I'd get one of you.
1130
00:46:00,986 --> 00:46:02,121
You're one of Xavier's.
1131
00:46:02,256 --> 00:46:03,819
[Deadpool] You-You know him?
You know Chuck?
1132
00:46:03,954 --> 00:46:05,327
Oh, I knew him.
1133
00:46:05,462 --> 00:46:06,763
We shared a womb.
1134
00:46:06,898 --> 00:46:08,957
Tried to strangle
the sly little fellow
1135
00:46:09,093 --> 00:46:10,462
with my umbilical cord.
1136
00:46:10,597 --> 00:46:13,898
[Deadpool] Amen. I've never
loved roommates. Mine's blind.
1137
00:46:14,033 --> 00:46:15,601
Except she can see cocaine.
1138
00:46:15,737 --> 00:46:17,072
For some... reason.
1139
00:46:17,207 --> 00:46:20,242
You want to chime in,
Your Majesty? I'm dying here.
1140
00:46:20,377 --> 00:46:21,336
Who are you?
1141
00:46:21,472 --> 00:46:24,306
Charles Xavier's twin,
Cassandra Nova.
1142
00:46:24,442 --> 00:46:25,942
- Bullshit!
- I was an anal birth.
1143
00:46:26,077 --> 00:46:28,717
Hmm. You two are cute.
1144
00:46:28,853 --> 00:46:30,380
I have a good feeling
about this.
1145
00:46:33,218 --> 00:46:34,215
And I've been trying to catch
1146
00:46:34,351 --> 00:46:36,419
this little firefly for years.
1147
00:46:37,054 --> 00:46:38,620
Haven't I, Johnny?
1148
00:46:38,755 --> 00:46:42,029
Aw... You picked the wrong
time to make new friends.
1149
00:46:42,164 --> 00:46:44,427
[Deadpool] Oh, Johnny told us
all about you.
1150
00:46:44,562 --> 00:46:45,998
- Maybe shut up now.
- Yeah, maybe don't--
1151
00:46:46,133 --> 00:46:47,094
[Deadpool]
We're just talkin' here.
1152
00:46:47,230 --> 00:46:48,265
Yeah, Johnny told us
1153
00:46:48,401 --> 00:46:50,469
you're a psychotic
megalomaniacal asshole.
1154
00:46:50,605 --> 00:46:54,239
His words, not mine.
Hellbent on domination
and pain.
1155
00:46:55,206 --> 00:46:56,675
You said all that about me?
1156
00:46:56,810 --> 00:46:58,410
No! No! I don't...
1157
00:46:58,546 --> 00:47:00,740
- I didn't say any of that!
- Sticks and stones, Johnny!
1158
00:47:02,247 --> 00:47:04,148
Don't let her intimidate you.
1159
00:47:04,284 --> 00:47:06,051
It's like you said
in the convoy.
1160
00:47:06,187 --> 00:47:08,022
This finger-lickin'
dead-inside
1161
00:47:08,157 --> 00:47:10,958
pixie slab of third rate
dime-store nut-milk
1162
00:47:11,093 --> 00:47:12,828
can eat your delicious
cinnamon ring
1163
00:47:12,963 --> 00:47:14,962
and kick rocks
all the way to bald hell.
1164
00:47:15,098 --> 00:47:17,065
Okay. I have never said
any of those words
1165
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:19,229
- in my entire life!
- [Deadpool] Ha! The modesty.
1166
00:47:19,364 --> 00:47:21,270
People think
I'm a shit talker.
1167
00:47:21,405 --> 00:47:22,405
But this guy...
1168
00:47:22,540 --> 00:47:23,537
[smooches] Next level.
1169
00:47:23,673 --> 00:47:25,698
What? This... I... We...
1170
00:47:25,834 --> 00:47:27,074
I don't even know
what half of that means!
1171
00:47:27,209 --> 00:47:28,840
- This... I...
- My hat's off to you, sir.
1172
00:47:28,976 --> 00:47:29,910
- Truly.
- What? This...
1173
00:47:30,045 --> 00:47:31,907
I didn't... He's...
That's... I...
1174
00:47:32,043 --> 00:47:33,539
I... I don't--
1175
00:47:33,675 --> 00:47:35,577
- [Deadpool gasps]
- [heart beats]
1176
00:47:38,714 --> 00:47:39,719
[Deadpool]
Not my favorite Chris.
1177
00:47:39,855 --> 00:47:41,118
You stupid piece of shit.
1178
00:47:41,254 --> 00:47:42,219
You just got him
fucking killed!
1179
00:47:42,355 --> 00:47:44,125
[Deadpool] Hey!
We're all grieving!
1180
00:47:44,260 --> 00:47:46,427
PS, do you know what
he was doing to the budget?
1181
00:47:46,562 --> 00:47:47,754
[shushing]
1182
00:47:49,060 --> 00:47:51,527
Alioth is hungry.
1183
00:47:51,662 --> 00:47:53,230
[Deadpool] There's been
some kind of mistake.
1184
00:47:53,366 --> 00:47:55,234
Big yellow is
a back-up Anchor Being,
1185
00:47:55,369 --> 00:47:57,902
and I'm Marvel Jesus.
MJ, if you're nasty.
1186
00:47:58,038 --> 00:47:58,972
This may be hard to hear,
1187
00:47:59,108 --> 00:48:00,699
but there's
another British villain
1188
00:48:00,835 --> 00:48:01,839
who's gonna destroy
my universe,
1189
00:48:01,975 --> 00:48:03,010
and I'm gonna stop him.
1190
00:48:03,145 --> 00:48:04,546
Oh, honey,
you don't really strike me
1191
00:48:04,682 --> 00:48:06,278
as the world-saving type.
1192
00:48:07,180 --> 00:48:08,549
[thunder rumbling in distance]
1193
00:48:08,684 --> 00:48:10,414
Did I hit a nerve?
1194
00:48:10,550 --> 00:48:12,251
[Deadpool] I didn't want it
to come to this.
1195
00:48:12,886 --> 00:48:13,822
Either you help us
1196
00:48:13,958 --> 00:48:15,187
or my friend here
is gonna sing
1197
00:48:15,323 --> 00:48:17,019
the entire second act
of Music Man
1198
00:48:17,154 --> 00:48:18,389
with zero warm-up.
1199
00:48:19,092 --> 00:48:20,257
Where'd you get the chair?
1200
00:48:20,393 --> 00:48:21,324
[Cassandra Nova]
Well, once in a while,
1201
00:48:21,460 --> 00:48:23,388
I do get a Charles
through here.
1202
00:48:23,524 --> 00:48:24,831
Never mine, though.
1203
00:48:24,967 --> 00:48:28,037
No. He didn't care to find me.
1204
00:48:28,172 --> 00:48:31,636
[Deadpool groans] Gen Z
and their trauma-bragging!
1205
00:48:31,771 --> 00:48:34,610
Can't you just stuff it down,
turn it into accomplishment
1206
00:48:34,746 --> 00:48:36,239
or cancer like the rest of us?
1207
00:48:36,374 --> 00:48:38,108
But I'm not like
the rest of you.
1208
00:48:38,243 --> 00:48:40,014
Except maybe the Wolverine.
1209
00:48:40,150 --> 00:48:42,715
Now, we could be
truly terrifying together.
1210
00:48:42,851 --> 00:48:44,048
You're that scary, huh?
1211
00:48:44,184 --> 00:48:46,383
The TVA certainly thought so.
1212
00:48:46,519 --> 00:48:49,055
They sent me here
before I could walk.
1213
00:48:49,191 --> 00:48:50,559
And you know,
it's the best thing
1214
00:48:50,695 --> 00:48:52,361
that ever happened to me.
1215
00:48:52,496 --> 00:48:53,522
I love it here.
1216
00:48:53,658 --> 00:48:54,888
[Deadpool] You live
in a garbage dump.
1217
00:48:55,024 --> 00:48:58,027
I think we both know who lives
in the garbage dump.
1218
00:48:58,163 --> 00:48:59,902
The Void is a paradise.
1219
00:49:00,037 --> 00:49:04,038
I can wield my power here
without shame.
1220
00:49:04,174 --> 00:49:06,035
Unfortunately I had
no Charles Xavier
1221
00:49:06,171 --> 00:49:08,037
to teach me temperance.
1222
00:49:08,173 --> 00:49:10,039
What about your Charles?
1223
00:49:10,175 --> 00:49:11,476
Did he protect you?
1224
00:49:12,112 --> 00:49:14,145
Did he make you feel safe?
1225
00:49:14,281 --> 00:49:16,114
We're mutants.
We're never safe.
1226
00:49:16,250 --> 00:49:18,615
- [roars]
- [Cassandra whoops]
1227
00:49:18,984 --> 00:49:20,154
[chuckles]
1228
00:49:20,556 --> 00:49:21,617
[whoops]
1229
00:49:24,326 --> 00:49:25,256
[Deadpool] Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
1230
00:49:25,391 --> 00:49:27,060
I don't...
I don't want the smoke.
1231
00:49:27,195 --> 00:49:28,259
I don't have
any beef with you.
1232
00:49:28,395 --> 00:49:29,896
I just want
to save my friends.
1233
00:49:30,031 --> 00:49:31,198
I just... I want to go home.
1234
00:49:31,333 --> 00:49:33,065
Well, the thing is,
I could get you home.
1235
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:34,870
- Good.
- But I don't want to.
1236
00:49:35,005 --> 00:49:37,270
[Deadpool] Not good.
[groaning]
1237
00:49:39,668 --> 00:49:42,100
What do you want, Wade Wilson?
1238
00:49:42,236 --> 00:49:44,646
[Deadpool straining] Your...
fingers are inside me,
1239
00:49:44,781 --> 00:49:45,972
but not in a good way.
1240
00:49:46,107 --> 00:49:48,882
My brother could enter
one's mind with a thought.
1241
00:49:49,018 --> 00:49:51,216
I have to get my hands dirty.
1242
00:49:51,352 --> 00:49:53,649
- [Deadpool groaning]
- [shushing]
1243
00:49:54,383 --> 00:49:55,651
I've got you.
1244
00:49:57,994 --> 00:49:59,391
[whispers] I've got you...
1245
00:50:01,791 --> 00:50:03,032
[Wade, muffled]
What do you mean?
1246
00:50:04,664 --> 00:50:07,403
I can't... I can't reach you.
You're not here.
1247
00:50:07,538 --> 00:50:09,104
I'm right here.
1248
00:50:09,240 --> 00:50:12,105
- No, you're not. I can't...
- I'm right here.
1249
00:50:12,241 --> 00:50:14,439
Then show me.
You got to do something.
1250
00:50:15,679 --> 00:50:17,003
Show you what?
1251
00:50:17,138 --> 00:50:20,876
Show me you care about
something bigger than you.
1252
00:50:21,011 --> 00:50:25,044
Ever since they turned you
down, you took a knee.
1253
00:50:25,713 --> 00:50:27,683
Baby, you never got back up.
1254
00:50:29,852 --> 00:50:31,617
I know you're
going through something.
1255
00:50:31,753 --> 00:50:34,528
Let me go through it with you.
1256
00:50:34,664 --> 00:50:37,066
- Your crazy matches my crazy.
- Your crazy matches my crazy.
1257
00:50:40,164 --> 00:50:41,566
Where'd you go?
1258
00:50:42,068 --> 00:50:43,534
[Wade] Oh, my God.
1259
00:50:44,899 --> 00:50:46,400
[♪ melancholy music playing]
1260
00:50:46,535 --> 00:50:48,209
You just say it. Okay?
1261
00:50:48,945 --> 00:50:49,876
Say, "I don't want you.
1262
00:50:50,012 --> 00:50:52,346
"I don't want to be with you."
1263
00:50:52,482 --> 00:50:53,806
Go ahead. Say it.
Say... Say, "I don't..."
1264
00:50:53,942 --> 00:50:55,282
Say it.
You don't wanna be with me.
1265
00:50:55,417 --> 00:50:56,785
Tell me that
and I'll walk away.
1266
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:57,843
Say, "I don't want you."
1267
00:50:57,978 --> 00:51:00,287
[♪ melancholy music continues]
1268
00:51:04,122 --> 00:51:05,684
[sighs] Fuck...
1269
00:51:05,819 --> 00:51:08,460
You'll never fucking matter.
1270
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:14,093
What?
1271
00:51:14,228 --> 00:51:16,939
- You'll never fucking matter.
- Fucking matter.
1272
00:51:17,074 --> 00:51:19,405
[♪ melancholy music continues]
1273
00:51:22,974 --> 00:51:25,506
- [Vanessa] You'll...
- [Cassandra] You'll...
1274
00:51:25,641 --> 00:51:27,443
never...
- never...
1275
00:51:27,578 --> 00:51:28,707
- fucking...
- fucking...
1276
00:51:28,843 --> 00:51:31,681
matter.
- matter...
1277
00:51:33,717 --> 00:51:34,955
[Deadpool]
She never said that.
1278
00:51:35,091 --> 00:51:36,224
- [Cassandra] No.
- [groans]
1279
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:38,055
[in mocking tone]
But I bet she thought it.
1280
00:51:38,191 --> 00:51:39,159
[Deadpool splutters]
1281
00:51:39,295 --> 00:51:41,887
[Deadpool groans]
You are so mean!
1282
00:51:42,023 --> 00:51:43,061
My brain could taste
your fingers,
1283
00:51:43,197 --> 00:51:45,234
and they tasted like hate!
1284
00:51:45,369 --> 00:51:47,968
And where in God's name
is the intimacy coordinator?
1285
00:51:48,103 --> 00:51:50,806
You're so lost, Mr. Wilson.
1286
00:51:50,942 --> 00:51:53,340
And long before you came here.
1287
00:51:54,735 --> 00:51:55,670
This is Baby Knife.
1288
00:51:55,806 --> 00:51:56,975
She's gonna fuck you
in the face now.
1289
00:51:57,111 --> 00:51:58,279
If you want to kill me,
1290
00:51:58,415 --> 00:52:00,111
it's going to take
more than a little blade.
1291
00:52:00,247 --> 00:52:01,974
[Deadpool] How about six?
1292
00:52:02,110 --> 00:52:05,687
[laughs mockingly]
My boy's wicked strong.
1293
00:52:05,822 --> 00:52:07,347
That's my big boy.
1294
00:52:07,483 --> 00:52:08,852
Yes, you are.
1295
00:52:08,988 --> 00:52:10,258
[groans]
1296
00:52:10,924 --> 00:52:12,128
[laughs]
1297
00:52:15,023 --> 00:52:16,496
[Cassandra]
Well, this has been fun.
1298
00:52:16,632 --> 00:52:18,792
But the big guy needs to eat,
and the rent is due.
1299
00:52:18,928 --> 00:52:20,664
- [eerie roar]
- [thunder roaring]
1300
00:52:22,332 --> 00:52:23,264
By the way,
1301
00:52:23,399 --> 00:52:24,738
you're the rent.
1302
00:52:24,873 --> 00:52:27,066
[rumbling]
1303
00:52:34,783 --> 00:52:36,108
[roars]
1304
00:52:39,450 --> 00:52:40,486
[henchmen screaming]
1305
00:52:43,986 --> 00:52:46,721
- [electrical whine]
- Come on! Fuck!
1306
00:52:46,857 --> 00:52:47,927
- [engine starts]
- You comin' or what?
1307
00:52:48,062 --> 00:52:49,264
[Deadpool] Coming!
1308
00:52:59,473 --> 00:53:01,672
[engine sputtering
in distance]
1309
00:53:04,380 --> 00:53:06,006
- [distant scream]
- [engine bursts]
1310
00:53:06,508 --> 00:53:07,748
[grunting]
1311
00:53:07,883 --> 00:53:09,080
[both groan]
1312
00:53:09,216 --> 00:53:10,184
What you thinkin' 'bout?
1313
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:11,879
- Get the fuck off of me!
- Shh, shh, shh.
1314
00:53:12,015 --> 00:53:14,013
- [strains] Almost done.
- Almost done what?
1315
00:53:14,149 --> 00:53:15,957
Getting my knife out
of your buttocks,
1316
00:53:16,093 --> 00:53:17,717
- pervert!
- Aah! Fuck!
1317
00:53:17,853 --> 00:53:19,622
Get your mind out of my pants!
1318
00:53:19,758 --> 00:53:22,056
- I'm telling Blake.
- New rules.
1319
00:53:22,458 --> 00:53:23,562
I talk now.
1320
00:53:23,697 --> 00:53:24,799
That's gonna be very hard
on the audience.
1321
00:53:24,934 --> 00:53:27,429
Shut the fuck up!
1322
00:53:27,564 --> 00:53:28,633
Let me fuckin' think.
1323
00:53:28,768 --> 00:53:30,668
Now we gotta get back
to Paradox, right?
1324
00:53:32,599 --> 00:53:34,101
Right?
1325
00:53:34,237 --> 00:53:36,338
Je m'excuse. Am I allowed
to speak now or--
1326
00:53:36,473 --> 00:53:38,742
Just nod, asshole.
1327
00:53:40,409 --> 00:53:41,447
Right.
1328
00:53:41,583 --> 00:53:42,878
Then we find the others
that poor kid, Johnny,
1329
00:53:43,014 --> 00:53:44,152
was talking about
before you got him killed!
1330
00:53:44,288 --> 00:53:45,978
[Deadpool] "Poor kid."
He's, like, 50!
1331
00:53:46,113 --> 00:53:47,045
Yeah, if there's
a chance they know
1332
00:53:47,181 --> 00:53:48,718
how to get out of here,
we find 'em.
1333
00:53:48,854 --> 00:53:50,716
And make those TVA fuckers
fix my shit
1334
00:53:50,852 --> 00:53:52,058
like you fucking promised!
1335
00:53:52,194 --> 00:53:53,552
[Deadpool] I smell quest.
1336
00:53:53,687 --> 00:53:55,187
[sniffing]
1337
00:53:56,460 --> 00:53:57,464
I smell food.
1338
00:54:00,594 --> 00:54:04,273
So what made you finally wear
an honest-to-God costume?
1339
00:54:05,838 --> 00:54:07,904
Mine's red
so they can't see me bleed.
1340
00:54:08,039 --> 00:54:10,772
But I could see how
yellow would be useful too.
1341
00:54:10,908 --> 00:54:12,438
Have you been checked
for ADHD?
1342
00:54:12,573 --> 00:54:13,739
Mm-mm.
1343
00:54:13,875 --> 00:54:15,876
But I've had several STDs,
1344
00:54:16,011 --> 00:54:18,081
which were probably caused
by ADHD.
1345
00:54:18,216 --> 00:54:19,288
Fuck!
1346
00:54:20,189 --> 00:54:21,356
What are you looking for?
1347
00:54:21,891 --> 00:54:23,391
Oh. Thank fuck.
1348
00:54:24,461 --> 00:54:26,228
No, no, no, no, no.
That's rubbing alcohol.
1349
00:54:26,363 --> 00:54:27,754
You don't want to drink--
Oh, yeah.
1350
00:54:27,890 --> 00:54:29,254
There you go. Fuck that liver.
1351
00:54:29,690 --> 00:54:30,624
[exhales]
1352
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:32,631
- Good. Okay.
- [sighs]
1353
00:54:33,663 --> 00:54:34,765
What the fuck are those?
1354
00:54:35,398 --> 00:54:36,369
Oh.
1355
00:54:36,505 --> 00:54:38,138
Back in civilian life,
I wear a toupee,
1356
00:54:38,273 --> 00:54:39,873
but nobody knows. [chuckles]
1357
00:54:40,008 --> 00:54:41,277
[laughing]
1358
00:54:42,406 --> 00:54:44,005
Everybody knows.
1359
00:54:46,449 --> 00:54:47,877
Wanna talk about
what's haunting you,
1360
00:54:48,013 --> 00:54:50,148
or should we wait
for a third act flashback?
1361
00:54:50,284 --> 00:54:52,387
Ah... Go fuck yourself.
1362
00:54:55,650 --> 00:54:56,655
You know...
1363
00:54:58,219 --> 00:55:00,560
in my world, you're...
[clears throat]
1364
00:55:01,790 --> 00:55:02,897
You're well regarded.
1365
00:55:03,033 --> 00:55:04,630
Yeah, well, not in mine.
1366
00:55:05,633 --> 00:55:07,461
They don't like me much
in mine either.
1367
00:55:07,597 --> 00:55:08,897
You don't say.
1368
00:55:09,032 --> 00:55:11,098
I wanted to be something,
you know. I...
1369
00:55:11,968 --> 00:55:13,602
Shit, I wanted
to be an Avenger.
1370
00:55:13,738 --> 00:55:16,039
- Fuck the Avengers.
- Yeah.
1371
00:55:16,174 --> 00:55:18,446
I didn't make the cut, though.
Same with the X-Men...
1372
00:55:20,315 --> 00:55:21,316
When my girlfriend left me,
1373
00:55:21,451 --> 00:55:23,011
- and I just--
- You had a girlfriend?
1374
00:55:23,380 --> 00:55:24,419
Yeah.
1375
00:55:24,821 --> 00:55:26,087
Vanessa.
1376
00:55:26,223 --> 00:55:27,752
When we met, she was a dancer.
1377
00:55:28,916 --> 00:55:30,117
We had a whole life.
1378
00:55:31,356 --> 00:55:32,852
It was good.
1379
00:55:32,988 --> 00:55:35,188
But, oh, boy, I just... Mwah.
1380
00:55:36,264 --> 00:55:38,059
Fucked that right up.
1381
00:55:38,769 --> 00:55:39,791
But you,
1382
00:55:39,926 --> 00:55:41,160
you were an X-Man.
1383
00:55:41,295 --> 00:55:43,372
Fuck that.
You were the X-Man. You...
1384
00:55:45,107 --> 00:55:46,441
The Wolverine.
1385
00:55:48,739 --> 00:55:50,379
He was a hero in my world.
1386
00:55:52,147 --> 00:55:53,305
Yeah, well...
1387
00:55:54,480 --> 00:55:55,615
he ain't shit in mine.
1388
00:56:01,052 --> 00:56:03,656
You said, "Logan was a hero."
What happened?
1389
00:56:04,553 --> 00:56:05,559
He died.
1390
00:56:06,225 --> 00:56:07,619
How?
1391
00:56:07,755 --> 00:56:10,089
Well, technically,
you were chest-fucked
by a tree, but,
1392
00:56:10,225 --> 00:56:11,892
really, you just
ran out of batteries
1393
00:56:12,027 --> 00:56:14,160
- trying to save someone.
- Who?
1394
00:56:14,295 --> 00:56:16,070
The shitheels
that grew her in a lab
1395
00:56:16,206 --> 00:56:17,736
called her "X-23." But...
1396
00:56:18,537 --> 00:56:20,135
she was just a kid.
1397
00:56:20,271 --> 00:56:23,804
A younger, daintier,
somehow meaner version of you.
1398
00:56:23,939 --> 00:56:25,606
You died trying to save her.
1399
00:56:25,741 --> 00:56:27,041
It was beautiful.
1400
00:56:27,177 --> 00:56:30,078
Look, mijo,
I know you're hurtin'.
1401
00:56:30,214 --> 00:56:32,511
My blind, elderly,
African-American roommate,
1402
00:56:32,647 --> 00:56:35,787
Blind Al, always says that
pain teaches us who we are.
1403
00:56:35,922 --> 00:56:37,488
Sometimes we need to listen
to that pain
1404
00:56:37,623 --> 00:56:38,557
instead of running from it.
1405
00:56:38,692 --> 00:56:40,221
- Holy shit.
- Yeah, she's wise.
1406
00:56:40,356 --> 00:56:42,854
No, no, no. That's her name?
You call her "Blind Al"?
1407
00:56:42,989 --> 00:56:44,192
Well, she's blind.
1408
00:56:44,628 --> 00:56:46,098
[dog barking]
1409
00:56:46,233 --> 00:56:48,998
[♪ ballad music plays, Chris
de Burgh "The Lady in Red"]
1410
00:56:55,970 --> 00:57:00,443
♪ I've never seen you looking
so lovely as you did tonight ♪
1411
00:57:00,579 --> 00:57:06,147
♪ I've never seen you shine
so bright, mm-hmm, hmm ♪
1412
00:57:07,083 --> 00:57:10,756
♪ The lady in red ♪
1413
00:57:13,023 --> 00:57:15,992
♪ Is dancing with me ♪
1414
00:57:17,191 --> 00:57:19,158
♪ Cheek to cheek ♪
1415
00:57:19,294 --> 00:57:21,562
♪ There's nobody here...♪
1416
00:57:21,697 --> 00:57:22,895
Look at you!
1417
00:57:23,030 --> 00:57:24,065
She's coming with us.
1418
00:57:24,201 --> 00:57:25,966
- No, she's not. Fuck no!
- Oh, yes, she is.
1419
00:57:26,101 --> 00:57:27,399
- Oh, yes--
- [man] Sorry!
1420
00:57:27,534 --> 00:57:30,145
- [♪ song stops]
- Sorry about that!
1421
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:32,408
Come here, girl! [chuckles]
1422
00:57:32,543 --> 00:57:33,674
Who are you?
1423
00:57:33,809 --> 00:57:35,042
Oh, I'm Deadpool.
1424
00:57:35,178 --> 00:57:36,848
And I guess
you're Deadpool too.
1425
00:57:36,983 --> 00:57:38,949
But in here, everybody
calls me "Nicepool."
1426
00:57:39,085 --> 00:57:40,647
Oh, my goodness.
Wait till you see Ladypool.
1427
00:57:40,782 --> 00:57:42,051
She is gorgeous.
1428
00:57:42,186 --> 00:57:44,222
She just had a baby too.
And... [blows sharply]
1429
00:57:44,357 --> 00:57:45,450
Can't even tell.
1430
00:57:45,585 --> 00:57:46,686
I don't think you're supposed
to say that.
1431
00:57:46,821 --> 00:57:48,162
That's okay.
1432
00:57:48,298 --> 00:57:49,798
I identify as a feminist.
1433
00:57:49,933 --> 00:57:51,126
Right.
1434
00:57:52,763 --> 00:57:53,962
Are those gold-plated,
1435
00:57:54,098 --> 00:57:56,133
...50 caliber Desert Eagle
pistoleros?
1436
00:57:56,269 --> 00:57:57,170
'Course.
1437
00:57:57,306 --> 00:57:58,533
To match my ear huggie.
1438
00:57:58,668 --> 00:57:59,867
Can I have 'em?
1439
00:58:00,002 --> 00:58:01,802
[laughs] Over my dead body.
1440
00:58:01,937 --> 00:58:03,072
[chuckles] You're fun.
1441
00:58:03,208 --> 00:58:05,573
And I guess you've
already met Mary Puppins.
1442
00:58:05,708 --> 00:58:07,305
AKA Dogpool.
1443
00:58:07,441 --> 00:58:08,783
Careful where you put
your hands.
1444
00:58:08,919 --> 00:58:11,479
She's ninety percent g-spot,
and she'll let you know it.
1445
00:58:11,614 --> 00:58:15,181
You let this little flirt out
of your sight for one second
1446
00:58:15,317 --> 00:58:17,359
and she starts shopping
for a new papa.
1447
00:58:17,495 --> 00:58:19,518
If you can't be
a responsible pet owner,
1448
00:58:19,653 --> 00:58:22,320
then maybe you don't deserve
this little unicorn.
1449
00:58:22,456 --> 00:58:24,593
Guilty on all charges,
Your Honor.
1450
00:58:24,729 --> 00:58:25,660
Shan't happen again.
1451
00:58:25,796 --> 00:58:27,160
Why are you so nice?
1452
00:58:27,296 --> 00:58:28,799
Oh, it costs nothing
to be kind.
1453
00:58:28,935 --> 00:58:30,635
Shutting the fuck up
is also free.
1454
00:58:30,770 --> 00:58:32,106
- Caliente.
- This is Logan.
1455
00:58:32,242 --> 00:58:33,266
He's usually shirtless,
1456
00:58:33,402 --> 00:58:35,302
but he's let himself go
since the divorce.
1457
00:58:36,575 --> 00:58:38,206
Where's your mask?
1458
00:58:40,744 --> 00:58:41,678
Come on, guys.
1459
00:58:41,813 --> 00:58:43,215
[bird screeches in distance]
1460
00:58:43,351 --> 00:58:44,410
Ugh, this guy.
1461
00:58:44,545 --> 00:58:45,780
We're looking
for a group of survivors.
1462
00:58:45,915 --> 00:58:46,916
Oh, they're out there.
1463
00:58:47,052 --> 00:58:48,721
Yeah, but merc to merc,
you better hope
1464
00:58:48,857 --> 00:58:50,520
that you don't run
into the Deadpool corps.
1465
00:58:50,656 --> 00:58:51,791
Yeah, they're crazy.
1466
00:58:51,927 --> 00:58:53,219
They will chop you up
into a thousand pieces
1467
00:58:53,354 --> 00:58:54,520
and hide you
all over The Void.
1468
00:58:54,655 --> 00:58:56,521
If they could only process
their childhood trauma,
1469
00:58:56,657 --> 00:58:58,390
they'd go on one heck
of a healing journey.
1470
00:58:58,526 --> 00:58:59,695
Look, we're headed
for the borderlands.
1471
00:58:59,830 --> 00:59:00,998
You know where it is?
1472
00:59:01,133 --> 00:59:03,801
Yeah, that...
that's 12 klicks due west.
1473
00:59:03,937 --> 00:59:05,140
I can lend you my ride,
if you like.
1474
00:59:05,275 --> 00:59:07,334
It would be my honor.
1475
00:59:09,706 --> 00:59:10,810
[birds chirping]
1476
00:59:10,945 --> 00:59:12,808
[Deadpool] Oh, no, no, no, no.
Absolutely not.
1477
00:59:12,944 --> 00:59:14,907
Uh-uh. What the...
No! No!
1478
00:59:15,043 --> 00:59:15,974
Just get in the car.
1479
00:59:16,109 --> 00:59:17,176
This isn't a car.
1480
00:59:17,311 --> 00:59:19,685
This is
a Honda fuckin' Odyssey.
1481
00:59:19,821 --> 00:59:21,717
Throttle response
sucks a cock.
1482
00:59:21,853 --> 00:59:22,952
Dated infotainment system.
1483
00:59:23,088 --> 00:59:24,720
When Honda saw
that untreated chlamydia
1484
00:59:24,855 --> 00:59:25,990
was makin' a comeback,
1485
00:59:26,126 --> 00:59:28,657
they invented
the Honda Odyssey to compete.
1486
00:59:28,793 --> 00:59:31,796
Get in the fucking car.
1487
00:59:31,932 --> 00:59:33,762
She'll get you there
safe and sound.
1488
00:59:33,897 --> 00:59:36,034
Old Betsy always does.
1489
00:59:36,169 --> 00:59:38,470
You're gonna have to
give me my dog back, though.
1490
00:59:38,606 --> 00:59:39,837
[Deadpool] I know. Listen.
1491
00:59:39,973 --> 00:59:41,371
- [Dogpool whimpers]
- Yes, child.
1492
00:59:41,506 --> 00:59:43,709
If you ever wanna give her up,
or if she needs a new home,
1493
00:59:43,845 --> 00:59:45,740
or if something
should happen to you,
1494
00:59:45,876 --> 00:59:46,911
I'd love to be her papa.
1495
00:59:47,047 --> 00:59:49,382
[laughs] What would
ever happen to me?
1496
00:59:49,518 --> 00:59:50,652
[Deadpool] Lots of stuff.
1497
00:59:54,215 --> 00:59:55,488
- Jesus.
- [Deadpool] No!
1498
00:59:55,623 --> 00:59:57,320
We're running away. [grunts]
1499
00:59:57,456 --> 00:59:59,120
- [Wolverine] Give me that.
- The corn was too dense, girl!
1500
00:59:59,256 --> 01:00:00,187
- [Wolverine] There.
- Come here!
1501
01:00:00,323 --> 01:00:01,762
- [Deadpool] Fuck!
- [Nicepool] Hello!
1502
01:00:03,631 --> 01:00:05,032
- [engine starts]
- Bye.
1503
01:00:05,168 --> 01:00:07,297
[♪ Avril Lavigne "I'm With
You" plays on car stereo]
1504
01:00:07,433 --> 01:00:08,393
[sighs]
1505
01:00:08,529 --> 01:00:12,499
♪ It's a damn cold night ♪
1506
01:00:12,635 --> 01:00:17,306
♪ Trying to figure out
this life ♪
1507
01:00:17,442 --> 01:00:20,009
♪ Won't you take me
by the hand?♪
1508
01:00:20,145 --> 01:00:22,378
♪ Take me somewhere new ♪
1509
01:00:22,514 --> 01:00:27,048
♪ I don't know who you are
But I ♪
1510
01:00:27,184 --> 01:00:29,582
♪ I'm with you...♪
1511
01:00:30,552 --> 01:00:31,985
[Deadpool] Okay,
I'm just gonna ask...
1512
01:00:32,120 --> 01:00:33,154
What's with the suit?
1513
01:00:33,290 --> 01:00:34,891
First thing I did
when I flamed out,
1514
01:00:35,027 --> 01:00:35,990
- I took mine off.
- Drop it.
1515
01:00:36,126 --> 01:00:37,426
[Deadpool] It's not that ugly.
1516
01:00:37,562 --> 01:00:38,994
- Stop talking about my suit.
- Did you make it yourself?
1517
01:00:39,129 --> 01:00:40,496
- Been there.
- Quit. Now.
1518
01:00:40,631 --> 01:00:43,563
The X-Men make you wear it?
Those sons of fuckin' bitches.
1519
01:00:43,698 --> 01:00:45,302
They are not your friends,
I'll tell you that.
1520
01:00:45,438 --> 01:00:47,841
Friends don't let friends
leave the house lookin' like
1521
01:00:47,976 --> 01:00:49,708
they fight crime
for the Los Angeles Rams.
1522
01:00:49,843 --> 01:00:51,076
Shut the fuck up
about this, or--
1523
01:00:51,212 --> 01:00:53,174
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch
your frown lines, angel baby.
1524
01:00:53,310 --> 01:00:54,441
I'm just trying
to bond a little bit.
1525
01:00:54,577 --> 01:00:56,083
Yeah, well, then talk
about somethin' else.
1526
01:00:56,218 --> 01:00:57,213
Fine.
1527
01:01:00,654 --> 01:01:02,284
Pshew. Pshew, pshew.
1528
01:01:02,785 --> 01:01:03,786
Pshew!
1529
01:01:03,921 --> 01:01:06,388
- Stop it.
- Pshew.
1530
01:01:06,523 --> 01:01:08,058
If they can fix your world,
what's the first thing
1531
01:01:08,194 --> 01:01:09,189
you're gonna do
when you get out of here?
1532
01:01:09,324 --> 01:01:10,695
Get some
rubbing alcohol shots,
1533
01:01:10,830 --> 01:01:12,393
maybe a wiper fluid chaser?
1534
01:01:12,529 --> 01:01:14,195
- What did you say?
- I said when you get back,
1535
01:01:14,331 --> 01:01:15,467
what's the first thing
you're gonna do?
1536
01:01:15,603 --> 01:01:17,167
No, no, no. Before that.
1537
01:01:18,168 --> 01:01:20,104
If... they can fix your world?
1538
01:01:20,770 --> 01:01:21,776
[grunts]
1539
01:01:24,007 --> 01:01:25,573
What do you mean, "if"?
1540
01:01:26,176 --> 01:01:27,074
- I mean--
- You lied to me.
1541
01:01:27,210 --> 01:01:28,277
You don't have a fucking clue
1542
01:01:28,412 --> 01:01:29,975
if they can help me
fix things, do you?
1543
01:01:30,110 --> 01:01:31,649
No. I mean-- Ow!
1544
01:01:31,785 --> 01:01:34,316
Fuck! Fuck! I didn't lie!
1545
01:01:34,451 --> 01:01:37,484
- You lied!
- No! I made an educated wish!
1546
01:01:39,187 --> 01:01:40,652
Because I need you.
1547
01:01:41,631 --> 01:01:45,327
This. This is why. Right here.
1548
01:01:45,462 --> 01:01:47,263
'Cause if we don't do
something, they die.
1549
01:01:47,398 --> 01:01:49,535
I don't know anything
about saving worlds.
1550
01:01:49,671 --> 01:01:51,103
And why would I even care?
1551
01:01:51,239 --> 01:01:54,606
Because my entire world
is right here in this picture.
1552
01:01:54,741 --> 01:01:56,437
It's only nine people,
1553
01:01:56,572 --> 01:01:59,848
and I have no idea
how to save it alone.
1554
01:01:59,983 --> 01:02:02,042
I know how to fuck people up
for money. But you,
1555
01:02:02,178 --> 01:02:04,049
you know how to save 'em!
1556
01:02:05,050 --> 01:02:06,115
At least
the other Wolverine did.
1557
01:02:06,250 --> 01:02:07,349
- [flesh squelching]
- [groans]
1558
01:02:07,484 --> 01:02:10,324
Fuck! I guess I'm stuck
with the worst one.
1559
01:02:10,460 --> 01:02:12,492
Did you say you made
1560
01:02:12,628 --> 01:02:15,862
an educated fucking wish?
1561
01:02:15,998 --> 01:02:18,094
They call me
"The Merc with the Mouth."
1562
01:02:18,229 --> 01:02:20,195
They don't call me
"Truthful Timmy,
1563
01:02:20,331 --> 01:02:22,331
"the Blowjob Queen
of Saskatoon."
1564
01:02:22,866 --> 01:02:24,267
[grunts in pain]
1565
01:02:26,035 --> 01:02:27,205
One more word.
1566
01:02:28,208 --> 01:02:31,109
Please give me one.
[breathing heavily]
1567
01:02:33,449 --> 01:02:34,480
Gubernatorial.
1568
01:02:34,615 --> 01:02:36,378
[yelps] Oh, fuck!
1569
01:02:37,887 --> 01:02:39,414
You know what?
You're a fucking joke.
1570
01:02:41,055 --> 01:02:42,384
No wonder the Avengers
didn't take you.
1571
01:02:42,519 --> 01:02:45,292
Or the X-Men. And they'll take
fucking anyone.
1572
01:02:45,427 --> 01:02:46,727
I mean, you are
1573
01:02:46,863 --> 01:02:50,458
a ridiculous, immature,
half-wit moron.
1574
01:02:50,993 --> 01:02:52,761
I have never met
1575
01:02:52,896 --> 01:02:54,065
a sadder,
1576
01:02:54,201 --> 01:02:56,700
more attention-starved,
jabbering little prick
1577
01:02:56,835 --> 01:02:58,070
in my entire life.
1578
01:02:58,205 --> 01:03:00,169
And that says a lot,
'cause I've been alive
1579
01:03:00,305 --> 01:03:02,871
for more than
200 fuckin' years,
1580
01:03:03,006 --> 01:03:04,174
and I'll tell ya,
1581
01:03:04,310 --> 01:03:05,975
that bald chick
was right about one thing.
1582
01:03:06,111 --> 01:03:08,640
You will never save the world!
1583
01:03:08,775 --> 01:03:11,385
You couldn't even save
a relationship
1584
01:03:11,521 --> 01:03:13,218
with a goddamn stripper!
1585
01:03:13,353 --> 01:03:15,914
And motherfucker, I wish
I could say you'd die alone,
1586
01:03:16,049 --> 01:03:18,988
but it's one of God's
best jokes that you can't die,
1587
01:03:19,123 --> 01:03:20,719
except that's on all of us!
1588
01:03:24,801 --> 01:03:27,093
Oh, you got nothing to say,
Mouth?
1589
01:03:27,229 --> 01:03:28,529
[breathing heavily]
1590
01:03:35,911 --> 01:03:37,540
[Deadpool]
I'm gonna fight you now.
1591
01:03:37,676 --> 01:03:39,447
[laughs]
1592
01:03:39,582 --> 01:03:41,179
[snorts] Oh, are you?
1593
01:03:44,888 --> 01:03:47,222
[song plays on radio,
song changing]
1594
01:03:47,357 --> 01:03:49,818
[♪ upbeat pop music plays,
"You're the One That I Want"]
1595
01:03:49,953 --> 01:03:51,123
[grunting]
1596
01:03:51,258 --> 01:03:53,652
- [groaning]
- Mm. Not talkin' now, are ya?
1597
01:03:53,787 --> 01:03:56,229
♪ And I'm losing control ♪
1598
01:03:56,365 --> 01:04:00,163
♪ 'Cause the power
you're supplying ♪
1599
01:04:00,298 --> 01:04:01,529
[Deadpool]
Oh, you dirty bitch.
1600
01:04:03,867 --> 01:04:05,337
[growls]
1601
01:04:05,473 --> 01:04:07,665
[yelling]
- ♪ You better shape up ♪
1602
01:04:07,801 --> 01:04:09,343
♪ 'Cause I need a man ♪
1603
01:04:09,478 --> 01:04:11,076
[both grunting]
1604
01:04:11,212 --> 01:04:14,143
♪ And my heart is set on you ♪
1605
01:04:14,279 --> 01:04:16,541
♪ You better shape up ♪
1606
01:04:16,677 --> 01:04:18,117
- [laughs]
- [Deadpool] Whoo!
1607
01:04:18,717 --> 01:04:19,911
[grunts]
1608
01:04:20,046 --> 01:04:22,289
♪ To my heart,
I must be true ♪
1609
01:04:22,425 --> 01:04:25,958
♪ Nothing left,
nothing left for me to do ♪
1610
01:04:26,094 --> 01:04:28,063
♪ You're the one that I want ♪
1611
01:04:28,866 --> 01:04:30,621
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪
1612
01:04:30,757 --> 01:04:32,296
♪ The one that I want ♪
1613
01:04:33,365 --> 01:04:34,329
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪
1614
01:04:34,465 --> 01:04:35,997
- [straining]
- No, no, no! [screams]
1615
01:04:36,133 --> 01:04:37,500
[screams in high pitch]
1616
01:04:37,635 --> 01:04:39,174
- ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
- [bones crack]
1617
01:04:39,309 --> 01:04:43,340
♪ The one I need
Oh, yes, indeed...♪
1618
01:04:46,009 --> 01:04:47,344
[choking]
1619
01:04:50,947 --> 01:04:52,382
[yells]
1620
01:04:54,648 --> 01:04:56,221
- Baby Knife!
- [screams]
1621
01:04:58,055 --> 01:04:59,291
[♪ song stops]
1622
01:04:59,427 --> 01:05:02,588
I take it all back.
The Honda Odyssey fucks hard.
1623
01:05:02,723 --> 01:05:03,996
Too bad you don't,
needle dick.
1624
01:05:04,132 --> 01:05:05,295
Oh, we're just
gettin' started, bub.
1625
01:05:05,430 --> 01:05:07,199
- [yells]
- [♪ song resumes playing]
1626
01:05:08,235 --> 01:05:09,901
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey ♪
1627
01:05:10,036 --> 01:05:11,537
[Deadpool] Oh, you... Fuck!
1628
01:05:12,740 --> 01:05:14,208
[Deadpool groaning loudly]
- ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
1629
01:05:14,344 --> 01:05:16,140
- ♪ The one I need ♪
- [groaning stops]
1630
01:05:16,275 --> 01:05:18,945
♪ Oh, yes, indeed ♪
1631
01:05:19,081 --> 01:05:20,548
♪ You're the one that I want ♪
1632
01:05:20,684 --> 01:05:21,613
[♪ song fades out]
1633
01:05:21,748 --> 01:05:23,182
[birds chirping]
1634
01:05:25,588 --> 01:05:27,153
[leaves rustling]
1635
01:05:30,354 --> 01:05:32,554
[♪ ominous music playing]
1636
01:05:34,830 --> 01:05:36,364
[car door opens and closes]
1637
01:05:36,499 --> 01:05:37,625
[engine starts]
1638
01:05:49,802 --> 01:05:52,079
[♪ cryptic music playing]
1639
01:05:52,680 --> 01:05:54,147
[water dripping]
1640
01:06:03,922 --> 01:06:05,224
[Deadpool] Thor!
1641
01:06:08,026 --> 01:06:08,961
Where are we?
1642
01:06:09,096 --> 01:06:12,430
No clue, but...
I like it here.
1643
01:06:12,565 --> 01:06:15,234
- [door opens]
- [♪ cryptic music intensifies]
1644
01:06:17,969 --> 01:06:19,898
[grunting]
1645
01:06:20,033 --> 01:06:22,107
[Deadpool] Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
1646
01:06:22,242 --> 01:06:24,441
[♪ sentimental music playing]
1647
01:06:31,153 --> 01:06:32,921
- [♪ music pauses]
- [low growl]
1648
01:06:33,056 --> 01:06:35,518
[♪ dramatic electronic
music playing]
1649
01:06:45,097 --> 01:06:47,068
[electrical humming]
1650
01:06:52,432 --> 01:06:53,437
[cat meows]
1651
01:07:09,617 --> 01:07:10,556
[♪ music fades out]
1652
01:07:10,691 --> 01:07:12,456
Okay.
1653
01:07:12,591 --> 01:07:15,657
Look at you... all.
You must be the others.
1654
01:07:16,291 --> 01:07:17,226
Terrific.
1655
01:07:17,361 --> 01:07:20,526
So just to refresh, you are
1656
01:07:20,661 --> 01:07:21,762
- Wonder--
- Elektra.
1657
01:07:21,897 --> 01:07:23,995
[Deadpool] Elektra?
Yes. Who could forget?
1658
01:07:24,130 --> 01:07:27,170
And you. I was not expecting
to see you here.
1659
01:07:27,306 --> 01:07:28,906
I thought you were, you know,
1660
01:07:29,042 --> 01:07:30,573
retired. [chuckles]
1661
01:07:31,273 --> 01:07:32,278
Retarded?
1662
01:07:33,673 --> 01:07:34,582
[Deadpool] "Retired."
1663
01:07:34,718 --> 01:07:35,709
I'm already in The Void.
1664
01:07:35,844 --> 01:07:36,975
I'm not trying
to get canceled again.
1665
01:07:37,111 --> 01:07:39,054
- I don't like you.
- [Deadpool] You never did.
1666
01:07:40,420 --> 01:07:42,788
And who's this
succulent reminder
1667
01:07:42,924 --> 01:07:44,382
of my own inadequacies?
1668
01:07:44,517 --> 01:07:45,985
Look at you.
1669
01:07:46,120 --> 01:07:48,756
You look like the
superhero version of Hawkeye.
1670
01:07:48,891 --> 01:07:52,164
The name's Remy LeBeau,
Le Diable Blanc.
1671
01:07:52,300 --> 01:07:53,698
But you can call me
the Gambit.
1672
01:07:53,834 --> 01:07:55,426
[Deadpool] It's been a while
since I've seen Sling Blade.
1673
01:07:55,562 --> 01:07:56,566
Hit me again.
1674
01:07:57,301 --> 01:07:58,370
They call me the Gambit.
1675
01:07:58,505 --> 01:07:59,699
[Deadpool] Do they?
Are you sure you didn't
1676
01:07:59,835 --> 01:08:00,940
just really,
really want them to,
1677
01:08:01,076 --> 01:08:02,440
but it never quite worked out?
1678
01:08:03,571 --> 01:08:04,936
[speaks indistinctly]
1679
01:08:05,072 --> 01:08:07,445
You know, we never had
a Wolverine up in here.
1680
01:08:08,114 --> 01:08:09,049
But I can tell you now,
1681
01:08:09,184 --> 01:08:11,085
it's just a common courtesy
to ask
1682
01:08:11,221 --> 01:08:12,846
before you drink up
all of my liquor.
1683
01:08:12,981 --> 01:08:15,119
Well, it's a good thing
I don't give a fuck.
1684
01:08:15,255 --> 01:08:17,488
[laughs, speaks indistinctly]
1685
01:08:18,561 --> 01:08:19,556
Fuck.
1686
01:08:22,024 --> 01:08:23,659
- [bottle smashes]
- [Deadpool] So embarrassing.
1687
01:08:24,734 --> 01:08:25,692
Boo, boo, boo.
1688
01:08:25,828 --> 01:08:26,826
Well, now that
that's settled, look,
1689
01:08:26,961 --> 01:08:28,269
we came a long way
to find you three.
1690
01:08:28,404 --> 01:08:30,034
- There's four of us.
- [Deadpool] There's four...
1691
01:08:30,170 --> 01:08:32,096
Hey, wait. Is it Magneto?
1692
01:08:32,232 --> 01:08:34,206
Dear sweet God in heaven,
let it be Magneto,
1693
01:08:34,342 --> 01:08:35,306
- because with him--
- He's dead.
1694
01:08:35,442 --> 01:08:37,343
[Deadpool] Fuck!
Now Disney gets cheap?
1695
01:08:37,479 --> 01:08:39,411
It's like Pinocchio jammed
his face in my ass
1696
01:08:39,546 --> 01:08:41,713
- and started lying like crazy.
- Ooh, you nasty!
1697
01:08:41,849 --> 01:08:44,175
Mon petit rouge. Laissez
les bons temps rouler, huh?
1698
01:08:44,311 --> 01:08:47,078
[Deadpool] Not a single word.
What do you do exactly?
1699
01:08:47,213 --> 01:08:49,686
Charge the playing cards
and make 'em go boom!
1700
01:08:49,821 --> 01:08:51,992
[Deadpool] Your power's
close-up magic. That's good.
1701
01:08:52,128 --> 01:08:53,661
We're not totally
fucked at all.
1702
01:08:53,797 --> 01:08:55,059
So who brought us here?
1703
01:08:55,195 --> 01:08:56,461
[Voice] That would be me.
1704
01:08:58,892 --> 01:09:01,301
[♪ pensive music playing]
1705
01:09:06,733 --> 01:09:08,000
Don't make me regret it.
1706
01:09:09,610 --> 01:09:13,014
[Deadpool] Holy shit. Logan.
That's her. That's X-23.
1707
01:09:13,150 --> 01:09:14,710
She's the one
I told you about.
1708
01:09:19,146 --> 01:09:21,218
Hey, how did you all get stuck
in The Void?
1709
01:09:21,354 --> 01:09:22,847
There was a knock at the door.
1710
01:09:22,983 --> 01:09:24,925
- TVA sent me here.
- Me, too.
1711
01:09:25,060 --> 01:09:26,050
Well, maybe I was born here.
1712
01:09:26,185 --> 01:09:27,325
It's... It's hard
to know for sure.
1713
01:09:27,461 --> 01:09:30,925
TVA decided
our universe was dying.
1714
01:09:31,060 --> 01:09:33,168
And I never even got a chance
to fight for it.
1715
01:09:35,833 --> 01:09:37,896
[Elektra] People like us
don't go quietly.
1716
01:09:38,032 --> 01:09:40,141
TVA knows that,
so they took us out.
1717
01:09:40,276 --> 01:09:42,571
[smooches]
The answer is yes. I'm in.
1718
01:09:42,706 --> 01:09:44,542
- In what?
- [Deadpool] A team.
1719
01:09:44,677 --> 01:09:46,774
Me, you, you, and me.
All of us together.
1720
01:09:46,909 --> 01:09:48,139
Let's get the fuck
out of this place.
1721
01:09:48,274 --> 01:09:49,941
Don't listen to him.
He's a fucking liar!
1722
01:09:50,076 --> 01:09:51,776
[Deadpool]
It was an educated wish!
1723
01:09:51,912 --> 01:09:53,518
- Ha!
- [Deadpool] Look.
1724
01:09:54,950 --> 01:09:56,818
We've been inside
Cassandra's lair.
1725
01:09:56,953 --> 01:09:59,291
The only way out of The Void
is through her.
1726
01:09:59,427 --> 01:10:01,227
She can get us home.
She told us.
1727
01:10:01,362 --> 01:10:03,791
Wait a minute,
you've been inside?
1728
01:10:03,927 --> 01:10:05,564
- And you made it out alive?
- Bullshit.
1729
01:10:05,699 --> 01:10:07,367
- Nobody's ever done that.
- [Deadpool] We did.
1730
01:10:07,502 --> 01:10:10,063
Every time one of us
has gone up against her,
1731
01:10:10,432 --> 01:10:11,569
they die.
1732
01:10:11,705 --> 01:10:14,142
The Punisher, the Quicksilver,
the Daredevil.
1733
01:10:14,277 --> 01:10:15,835
[Deadpool] Daredevil?
I'm so sorry.
1734
01:10:15,970 --> 01:10:17,377
- It's fine.
- [Deadpool] Okay.
1735
01:10:19,338 --> 01:10:22,543
Even that sweet, baby angel,
Johnny Storm.
1736
01:10:22,678 --> 01:10:24,015
He up and gone missing like,
1737
01:10:24,151 --> 01:10:25,986
what, two days ago?
1738
01:10:26,122 --> 01:10:28,312
[Deadpool] Ugh. That's so sad.
1739
01:10:28,448 --> 01:10:31,088
Wherever this Johnny fella is,
I'm sure he's thriving.
1740
01:10:31,224 --> 01:10:32,293
[Wolverine chuckles]
1741
01:10:32,428 --> 01:10:34,519
Look, there's...
there's strength in numbers.
1742
01:10:34,654 --> 01:10:35,657
All right? Us...
1743
01:10:35,793 --> 01:10:37,091
plus, you guys.
We can put Cassandra
1744
01:10:37,227 --> 01:10:39,333
over our knee and force her
to let us out of The Void.
1745
01:10:39,468 --> 01:10:41,026
I know what it means
to feel self-doubt.
1746
01:10:41,161 --> 01:10:42,602
- I don't feel that at all.
- I'm good.
1747
01:10:42,738 --> 01:10:44,867
[Deadpool] Gnawing at your gut
like a coked-up tapeworm.
1748
01:10:45,002 --> 01:10:46,439
It's like you're holding up
a mirror to my soul.
1749
01:10:46,574 --> 01:10:47,808
[Deadpool] You guys
may not have been able
1750
01:10:47,944 --> 01:10:49,568
to save your universes.
1751
01:10:49,704 --> 01:10:51,772
But you can avenge them.
1752
01:10:51,907 --> 01:10:53,111
It's what Johnny
would have wanted.
1753
01:10:53,246 --> 01:10:56,251
Wait. You knew Johnny?
1754
01:10:57,052 --> 01:10:58,185
[chuckles] Oh, yeah.
1755
01:10:58,321 --> 01:11:00,180
Dickhead here talked him
into a team-up,
1756
01:11:00,316 --> 01:11:02,818
and Johnny came down with
a little case of the deads.
1757
01:11:02,953 --> 01:11:04,150
[Deadpool] No, no, no.
We don't know that.
1758
01:11:04,285 --> 01:11:06,393
It was just a flesh wound.
He may have survived.
1759
01:11:06,528 --> 01:11:09,187
If he survived that,
he is prayin' for death.
1760
01:11:09,322 --> 01:11:10,859
[Deadpool] Thank you,
Doctor Wolverine!
1761
01:11:10,994 --> 01:11:13,067
- Spill it!
- What'd you do to Johnny, huh?
1762
01:11:13,203 --> 01:11:14,268
Talk or I'm gonna
start dealin'.
1763
01:11:14,403 --> 01:11:16,062
[Deadpool] Okay. Okay.
Hey, hey, hey.
1764
01:11:16,563 --> 01:11:17,501
Look.
1765
01:11:17,637 --> 01:11:19,732
He ran his fat-ass mouth
about Cassandra.
1766
01:11:19,868 --> 01:11:21,541
Then she zip-zapped his skin,
1767
01:11:21,676 --> 01:11:23,710
leaving his organs to splash
crudely onto the ground
1768
01:11:23,846 --> 01:11:26,673
while the soil
greedily drank his blood.
It was horrible.
1769
01:11:26,808 --> 01:11:28,406
He was like a brother to me.
1770
01:11:28,542 --> 01:11:31,615
Look, he died before he could
make a difference. But...
1771
01:11:31,750 --> 01:11:32,677
- [laughs]
- Look, maybe you couldn't
1772
01:11:32,813 --> 01:11:34,155
save your worlds, but...
1773
01:11:34,291 --> 01:11:36,918
but Jesus Christ,
you can save mine!
1774
01:11:37,053 --> 01:11:39,417
I don't give a shit
about your world, but
1775
01:11:39,553 --> 01:11:42,395
if these two made it out of
there alive, maybe together,
1776
01:11:42,530 --> 01:11:44,322
we can get back in
and take her down.
1777
01:11:44,458 --> 01:11:47,325
Where I come from,
we call that suicide, Chere.
1778
01:11:47,460 --> 01:11:49,335
[Deadpool] If we can block
her psychic powers,
1779
01:11:49,470 --> 01:11:51,236
we can get a leg up.
I know it.
1780
01:11:51,371 --> 01:11:53,308
Now, I know Magneto's dead.
1781
01:11:53,443 --> 01:11:55,939
But I'd venture to guess
that his helmet is lying
1782
01:11:56,075 --> 01:11:58,005
- around here somewhere--
- Cassandra melted the helmet.
1783
01:11:58,140 --> 01:11:59,213
- [Deadpool] Fuck!
- After she killed him.
1784
01:11:59,349 --> 01:12:01,139
- [Deadpool] Fuck!
- She don't play.
1785
01:12:01,275 --> 01:12:02,645
She knows that helmet
was the only way
1786
01:12:02,781 --> 01:12:04,309
to protect anyone
from her powers.
1787
01:12:04,444 --> 01:12:06,218
The only other helmet that
strong is Juggernaut's,
1788
01:12:06,353 --> 01:12:07,554
but he works for Cassandra.
1789
01:12:07,689 --> 01:12:09,018
[Deadpool]
Juggernaut's helmet.
That's it.
1790
01:12:09,154 --> 01:12:10,721
Yeah, and we done be knowing
that lid ain't comin' off
1791
01:12:10,856 --> 01:12:12,160
without that dome
gonna come off wit'it.
1792
01:12:12,295 --> 01:12:13,455
[Deadpool] I'm so sorry, beautiful.
1793
01:12:13,591 --> 01:12:14,625
I want this to be gentle.
1794
01:12:14,761 --> 01:12:16,662
Who is your dialect coach?
The Minions?
1795
01:12:16,797 --> 01:12:20,060
I feel like we are missing
critical exposition here.
1796
01:12:21,295 --> 01:12:24,229
I'm sick of this shit.
I'm sick of hiding.
1797
01:12:25,266 --> 01:12:27,205
Let's face it,
our worlds forgot about us.
1798
01:12:27,341 --> 01:12:29,041
Or never learned about us.
1799
01:12:29,177 --> 01:12:30,503
The heroes we were.
1800
01:12:30,638 --> 01:12:31,846
Lives we saved.
1801
01:12:31,981 --> 01:12:33,246
Or wanted to save.
1802
01:12:33,381 --> 01:12:35,277
Maybe these two
are our chance.
1803
01:12:35,412 --> 01:12:36,609
[gurgling]
1804
01:12:36,744 --> 01:12:38,380
To be remembered.
1805
01:12:38,516 --> 01:12:39,585
The way we deserve.
1806
01:12:40,714 --> 01:12:41,679
[Deadpool] Yes.
1807
01:12:41,814 --> 01:12:43,518
An ending.
1808
01:12:43,654 --> 01:12:44,749
- Legacy.
- [Deadpool] Yes!
1809
01:12:44,885 --> 01:12:46,260
Yes! Let this man cook.
1810
01:12:46,395 --> 01:12:47,789
This is what
I'm talking about.
1811
01:12:47,924 --> 01:12:49,789
Big slow-motion fights,
sad music.
1812
01:12:49,924 --> 01:12:51,125
Everybody working together.
1813
01:12:51,260 --> 01:12:52,893
Who knows if you live or die?
That sorta thing.
1814
01:12:53,029 --> 01:12:55,068
- Who's ready?
- I was born ready.
1815
01:12:55,204 --> 01:12:56,366
[Deadpool] Yes!
Gambit?
1816
01:12:56,501 --> 01:12:57,536
I ain't know my daddy,
1817
01:12:57,672 --> 01:12:59,339
but I'm sure I shot out
of his dick ready.
1818
01:12:59,475 --> 01:13:01,267
[Deadpool] Jesus Christ,
that is graphic.
1819
01:13:01,403 --> 01:13:03,236
Yeah. He was layin' them
buttery nuts all up in my mama
1820
01:13:03,372 --> 01:13:05,271
and I shot out there
and I said, "What's up, Doc?"
1821
01:13:05,406 --> 01:13:07,707
[Deadpool laughs]
Johnny must have loved you.
1822
01:13:07,843 --> 01:13:10,016
X-23, what's it gonna be?
1823
01:13:10,151 --> 01:13:11,343
The name's Laura.
1824
01:13:11,478 --> 01:13:14,121
- Let's fucking go.
- [Deadpool] Let's fucking go!
1825
01:13:14,257 --> 01:13:15,388
It's on like chicken and corn.
1826
01:13:15,524 --> 01:13:16,924
- [Deadpool] Yeah!
- We're doing this.
1827
01:13:17,060 --> 01:13:18,017
You're all fuckin' dead.
1828
01:13:18,153 --> 01:13:20,494
[Deadpool] My God!
Read the room.
1829
01:13:23,891 --> 01:13:25,631
[crickets chirping]
1830
01:13:29,598 --> 01:13:31,199
[exhales]
1831
01:13:31,335 --> 01:13:34,475
Hey, hey. I'm not lookin'
for company. Get out of here.
1832
01:13:36,640 --> 01:13:38,045
You remind me of him.
1833
01:13:38,180 --> 01:13:39,909
Angry. Drunk. Mean...
1834
01:13:40,045 --> 01:13:42,175
- Sounds like a great guy--
- Wasn't finished.
1835
01:13:43,981 --> 01:13:45,585
Showed up when
it mattered the most.
1836
01:13:47,815 --> 01:13:49,490
Couldn't help it.
1837
01:13:50,959 --> 01:13:52,120
[sighs]
1838
01:13:52,823 --> 01:13:54,154
You might not know it, but...
1839
01:13:55,055 --> 01:13:56,391
you're a good man, Logan.
1840
01:13:56,526 --> 01:13:57,498
[chuckles]
1841
01:13:58,534 --> 01:14:00,099
You might not know it,
but apparently,
1842
01:14:00,235 --> 01:14:01,634
I'm the worst Logan.
1843
01:14:03,473 --> 01:14:05,363
I got to have a life
because of you.
1844
01:14:08,268 --> 01:14:10,005
I got to grow up
because of you.
1845
01:14:12,004 --> 01:14:13,481
A lot of kids did.
1846
01:14:13,616 --> 01:14:15,714
A lot of kids didn't grow up
because of me.
1847
01:14:17,913 --> 01:14:19,520
Trust me, kid, I'm no hero.
1848
01:14:20,850 --> 01:14:22,817
That suit says different.
1849
01:14:22,952 --> 01:14:25,086
- Yeah. Do you like it?
- Mm.
1850
01:14:26,958 --> 01:14:28,661
Scott used to beg me
to wear it.
1851
01:14:30,926 --> 01:14:33,534
So did Jean, Storm, Beast.
1852
01:14:35,598 --> 01:14:37,529
All of them.
1853
01:14:37,665 --> 01:14:41,301
They wanted me to be part
of the team, but I wouldn't.
1854
01:14:41,436 --> 01:14:44,743
Told 'em they all look
fucking ridiculous. I mean...
1855
01:14:46,574 --> 01:14:49,308
I couldn't have 'em thinkin'
I wanted to be there.
1856
01:14:54,988 --> 01:14:56,914
And then one day,
while I was off on my own,
1857
01:14:57,049 --> 01:14:58,284
the humans came...
1858
01:14:58,887 --> 01:15:00,319
and went mutant hunting.
1859
01:15:01,593 --> 01:15:02,656
I can guess the rest.
1860
01:15:02,791 --> 01:15:03,993
No, no, let me...
1861
01:15:05,234 --> 01:15:06,424
Let me say it. I...
1862
01:15:09,028 --> 01:15:10,230
I need to say it.
1863
01:15:12,698 --> 01:15:15,272
By the time I stumbled home
shitfaced from the bar,
1864
01:15:15,407 --> 01:15:16,709
it was too late.
1865
01:15:20,506 --> 01:15:22,176
They were dead. Every...
[stifling sob]
1866
01:15:24,651 --> 01:15:26,653
[♪ mournful music playing]
1867
01:15:28,253 --> 01:15:31,416
This suit's all I got to
remind me of who they were.
1868
01:15:33,425 --> 01:15:34,452
And what I did.
1869
01:15:42,302 --> 01:15:43,296
[sniffles]
1870
01:15:47,435 --> 01:15:49,236
We're headed to Cassandra's
at sunup.
1871
01:15:50,037 --> 01:15:52,074
Have fun. Not my fight.
1872
01:15:55,244 --> 01:15:57,013
We won't pull this off
without you.
1873
01:16:03,783 --> 01:16:07,287
Hey. Whoever you think I am,
you got the wrong guy.
1874
01:16:10,059 --> 01:16:11,731
You were always the wrong guy.
1875
01:16:18,134 --> 01:16:20,399
[♪ mournful music continues]
1876
01:16:35,456 --> 01:16:37,320
[cell phone ringing]
1877
01:16:37,455 --> 01:16:38,315
What?
1878
01:16:38,451 --> 01:16:40,519
Alioth didn't get them.
[sniffs]
1879
01:16:40,655 --> 01:16:43,228
Cassandra wanted to
play with them herself first.
1880
01:16:43,364 --> 01:16:44,256
They got away.
1881
01:16:44,391 --> 01:16:45,760
- Did they find the others?
- No.
1882
01:16:45,895 --> 01:16:47,161
Good. All right. Phew.
1883
01:16:47,296 --> 01:16:49,261
- The others found them.
- Oh, very cute.
1884
01:16:49,397 --> 01:16:51,167
Well done, Pyro.
Classic bait and switch.
1885
01:16:51,302 --> 01:16:53,706
You really got me there.
- Relax.
1886
01:16:53,842 --> 01:16:56,070
If they come after Nova,
she'll handle it.
1887
01:16:56,206 --> 01:16:58,241
Cassandra is
a lunatic wild card.
1888
01:16:58,377 --> 01:17:00,374
Why do you think we put her
there in the first place?
1889
01:17:00,509 --> 01:17:02,475
Thank God she's never chosen
to leave The Void.
1890
01:17:02,610 --> 01:17:05,450
The Time Ripper is hours away
from completion.
1891
01:17:05,586 --> 01:17:06,581
I cannot take any chances.
1892
01:17:06,716 --> 01:17:07,747
Well, maybe not.
1893
01:17:07,883 --> 01:17:09,221
But I can.
1894
01:17:09,356 --> 01:17:10,649
For a price.
1895
01:17:10,785 --> 01:17:11,751
Why do you have to
say it in that silly voice?
1896
01:17:11,887 --> 01:17:13,123
It's so icky.
1897
01:17:13,259 --> 01:17:14,953
- You want it done or not?
- All right. Your price.
1898
01:17:15,088 --> 01:17:16,554
Take her out.
1899
01:17:17,123 --> 01:17:19,162
Ugh. Mutants.
1900
01:17:19,298 --> 01:17:20,526
[♪ hip-hop music plays,
T.I. "Bring 'Em Out"]
1901
01:17:20,662 --> 01:17:21,901
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1902
01:17:22,037 --> 01:17:23,699
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1903
01:17:23,835 --> 01:17:25,169
♪ It's hard to yell when
the bar-rel's in your mouth ♪
1904
01:17:25,305 --> 01:17:26,532
♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ Swizzy! ♪
1905
01:17:26,668 --> 01:17:28,107
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1906
01:17:29,110 --> 01:17:30,505
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1907
01:17:30,641 --> 01:17:32,342
♪ T-I-P, coming live
from the V.I.P.♪
1908
01:17:32,478 --> 01:17:34,742
♪ Heard the nightlife
lost life without me ♪
1909
01:17:34,878 --> 01:17:37,282
♪ Both the feds and the state
wanna see 'bout me ♪
1910
01:17:37,417 --> 01:17:40,281
♪ The whole city got biz-zerk,
he got three...♪
1911
01:17:40,950 --> 01:17:41,985
Ooh! Look at that there!
1912
01:17:42,121 --> 01:17:43,251
You see them biggum hands
come closed.
1913
01:17:43,386 --> 01:17:44,858
Ain't not a wonna gettin' up
inside there.
1914
01:17:44,993 --> 01:17:46,189
[Deadpool] I think what
Gambit's trying to say is
1915
01:17:46,324 --> 01:17:49,057
getting Juggernaut's helmet
ain't gonna be easy.
1916
01:17:49,193 --> 01:17:50,728
I'm just making
stuff up at this...
1917
01:17:50,863 --> 01:17:52,563
- Yeah. Tilt up to Blade.
- Gun!
1918
01:17:52,698 --> 01:17:54,796
♪ Mississippi to Philly,
Albuquerque to Chatt-Town ♪
1919
01:17:54,932 --> 01:17:57,332
♪ If I hit you in the face,
you gon' be suing and shit ♪
1920
01:17:57,467 --> 01:17:59,064
[Deadpool] Where'd he get
that little beauty?
1921
01:17:59,199 --> 01:18:01,171
That's Punisher's AT4.
1922
01:18:01,307 --> 01:18:03,608
Which Punisher? There's been,
like, five of them.
1923
01:18:03,743 --> 01:18:05,306
There's only been one Blade,
1924
01:18:05,441 --> 01:18:07,281
and there's only ever
gonna be one Blade.
1925
01:18:07,416 --> 01:18:09,114
♪ Who got a flow and a live
show better than mine? ♪
1926
01:18:09,249 --> 01:18:11,214
♪ I got a packed
house yellin'♪
1927
01:18:11,583 --> 01:18:12,613
Incoming!
1928
01:18:12,748 --> 01:18:14,084
Ahhh!
1929
01:18:15,387 --> 01:18:16,582
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1930
01:18:16,717 --> 01:18:17,990
♪ Ayy, from the back,
they yellin ♪
1931
01:18:18,126 --> 01:18:19,454
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1932
01:18:19,590 --> 01:18:20,817
♪ Ayy, all
the dope boys yellin' ♪
1933
01:18:20,953 --> 01:18:22,159
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1934
01:18:22,294 --> 01:18:23,190
♪ Ayy, from the back,
they yellin ♪
1935
01:18:23,325 --> 01:18:24,424
- [♪ song stops]
- [fire roaring]
1936
01:18:27,501 --> 01:18:29,000
[tires screeching]
1937
01:18:31,204 --> 01:18:32,797
♪ Mic check,
one-two, one-two ♪
1938
01:18:32,932 --> 01:18:34,003
♪ You wanna beef
with the King?♪
1939
01:18:34,139 --> 01:18:35,704
♪ What is you gon' do?♪
1940
01:18:35,839 --> 01:18:37,674
♪ Will you show up on the
scene with two guns drew?♪
1941
01:18:37,810 --> 01:18:40,277
♪ Or you and your friend and
play a little two-on-two?♪
1942
01:18:40,413 --> 01:18:41,740
♪ If you knew half
of what I knew ♪
1943
01:18:41,876 --> 01:18:42,881
♪ Then you'd be
hitting the deck ♪
1944
01:18:43,016 --> 01:18:44,145
♪ I got a tool and a vest ♪
1945
01:18:44,281 --> 01:18:45,946
♪ I can get some respect ♪
1946
01:18:46,082 --> 01:18:47,683
♪ Yeah, what other Southern
rapper hood-er than this? ♪
1947
01:18:47,819 --> 01:18:49,881
♪ I got rich, and I'm still
on some hooligan shit ♪
1948
01:18:50,017 --> 01:18:51,320
♪ Standing in your
front yard yellin'♪
1949
01:18:51,456 --> 01:18:52,718
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1950
01:18:52,853 --> 01:18:54,092
♪ Ayy, all
my hot girls yellin' ♪
1951
01:18:54,228 --> 01:18:55,556
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1952
01:18:55,692 --> 01:18:56,930
♪ Ayy, all
the dope boys yellin' ♪
1953
01:18:57,066 --> 01:18:57,457
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1954
01:18:58,092 --> 01:18:59,393
[♪ song stops]
1955
01:19:02,802 --> 01:19:03,935
[♪ song resumes]
1956
01:19:04,070 --> 01:19:05,838
♪ Hands in the air now! ♪
1957
01:19:05,973 --> 01:19:07,964
♪ Hands in the air now! ♪
1958
01:19:08,100 --> 01:19:10,577
♪ Hands-hands in the-
in the air-air now! ♪
1959
01:19:10,713 --> 01:19:11,945
♪ I can't hear you! ♪
1960
01:19:12,081 --> 01:19:13,980
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1961
01:19:14,116 --> 01:19:16,350
♪ Bring 'em out,
bring 'em out ♪
1962
01:19:16,485 --> 01:19:17,477
[♪ song ends]
1963
01:19:19,280 --> 01:19:21,416
Ooh, this is gonna be good.
1964
01:19:21,551 --> 01:19:23,956
You know how long
I've been waiting for this?
1965
01:19:24,091 --> 01:19:26,222
Whoo! I'm about to make
a name for myself here.
1966
01:19:26,357 --> 01:19:28,226
I don't think you guys
walk away from this.
1967
01:19:28,362 --> 01:19:30,262
You just make sure people know
what happened here today.
1968
01:19:30,398 --> 01:19:32,457
And when you get out of here,
you have a drink for me, yeah?
1969
01:19:32,593 --> 01:19:34,965
You just stay on our six
and get inside.
1970
01:19:35,101 --> 01:19:37,602
We'll make sure
you get the package.
1971
01:19:37,738 --> 01:19:38,869
And we'll get our ending.
1972
01:19:39,005 --> 01:19:41,501
[♪ thrilling music playing]
1973
01:19:55,184 --> 01:19:56,483
[♪ music fades out]
1974
01:19:59,527 --> 01:20:00,993
[all yelling]
1975
01:20:05,997 --> 01:20:08,528
[♪ epic music playing]
1976
01:20:10,505 --> 01:20:11,663
[all grunting]
1977
01:20:34,428 --> 01:20:35,528
[groans]
1978
01:20:35,664 --> 01:20:37,330
[electrical roar and hum]
1979
01:20:37,465 --> 01:20:38,690
[crackling]
1980
01:20:49,268 --> 01:20:50,002
And boom!
1981
01:20:50,138 --> 01:20:51,670
[all grunting]
1982
01:20:52,414 --> 01:20:53,705
[laughs, grunts]
1983
01:21:19,773 --> 01:21:21,373
[♪ music stops]
1984
01:21:21,508 --> 01:21:23,872
Heh. Some motherfuckers still
trying to ice skate uphill.
1985
01:21:24,007 --> 01:21:25,374
[henchmen yelling]
1986
01:21:28,009 --> 01:21:29,180
[slurps]
1987
01:21:29,715 --> 01:21:30,850
[footsteps]
1988
01:21:30,986 --> 01:21:33,081
You two escaping,
I could live with.
1989
01:21:33,216 --> 01:21:36,154
But coming back? Willingly?
1990
01:21:37,658 --> 01:21:39,254
Boys are so silly.
1991
01:21:39,389 --> 01:21:40,488
[Deadpool]
I just need to get home.
1992
01:21:40,623 --> 01:21:43,063
Well, that's not on the menu,
I'm afraid.
1993
01:21:43,198 --> 01:21:46,590
It's death or enslavement.
A la carte, of course.
1994
01:21:46,725 --> 01:21:48,265
- Upsy-daisy.
- [grunting]
1995
01:21:53,474 --> 01:21:54,668
Finally,
1996
01:21:54,803 --> 01:21:56,542
it's nice to give someone else
a chance to talk.
1997
01:21:56,678 --> 01:21:58,401
Not my strong suit.
1998
01:21:58,537 --> 01:22:00,310
[groaning and grunting]
1999
01:22:02,484 --> 01:22:03,984
[straining]
2000
01:22:12,658 --> 01:22:13,719
[yells]
2001
01:22:15,354 --> 01:22:16,124
[exhales]
2002
01:22:16,260 --> 01:22:17,591
You shouldn't have done that.
2003
01:22:19,368 --> 01:22:20,301
[grunts]
2004
01:22:20,436 --> 01:22:22,233
[groaning]
2005
01:22:23,967 --> 01:22:25,368
[grunting]
2006
01:22:30,379 --> 01:22:31,572
[yells]
2007
01:22:32,348 --> 01:22:33,409
[growls]
2008
01:22:36,012 --> 01:22:37,242
[screams]
2009
01:22:37,377 --> 01:22:38,612
Adios, pendejo.
2010
01:22:39,652 --> 01:22:40,911
[yells]
2011
01:22:41,046 --> 01:22:43,915
You are an interesting one,
aren't you?
2012
01:22:44,050 --> 01:22:47,054
I do feel like you get lost
behind all of his...
2013
01:22:47,189 --> 01:22:49,195
[imitates yapping]
2014
01:22:50,298 --> 01:22:53,099
Deadpools are a dime a dozen
here in The Void.
2015
01:22:53,865 --> 01:22:55,634
But you...
2016
01:22:55,770 --> 01:22:58,764
What's going on in here?
2017
01:22:59,607 --> 01:23:01,173
[groaning]
2018
01:23:02,467 --> 01:23:04,209
[screaming]
2019
01:23:06,213 --> 01:23:08,144
- [screaming stops]
- [leaves rustling]
2020
01:23:08,279 --> 01:23:09,676
[distant female voice] Logan!
2021
01:23:12,183 --> 01:23:13,482
[Cassandra] Interesting...
2022
01:23:14,615 --> 01:23:16,518
Not what I expected back here.
2023
01:23:17,626 --> 01:23:18,993
Behind the anger.
2024
01:23:22,829 --> 01:23:24,027
You're hiding.
2025
01:23:24,162 --> 01:23:25,998
- From them.
- [sighs]
2026
01:23:26,134 --> 01:23:28,068
From all the ones
you let down.
2027
01:23:30,606 --> 01:23:31,764
So much pain.
2028
01:23:34,434 --> 01:23:36,534
I walked away.
2029
01:23:36,670 --> 01:23:38,302
They called after me and I...
2030
01:23:38,438 --> 01:23:39,574
I walked away.
2031
01:23:40,681 --> 01:23:41,638
I always do.
2032
01:23:41,774 --> 01:23:43,050
- [child] Logan!
- I know.
2033
01:23:45,116 --> 01:23:46,614
That's not all you did.
2034
01:23:47,379 --> 01:23:48,250
Is it?
2035
01:23:48,386 --> 01:23:50,090
- [groans]
- [flesh squelches]
2036
01:23:51,659 --> 01:23:53,159
You found them.
2037
01:23:53,958 --> 01:23:55,161
The X-Men.
2038
01:23:58,998 --> 01:24:00,367
[distant screaming]
2039
01:24:00,502 --> 01:24:01,329
Dead.
2040
01:24:01,464 --> 01:24:03,565
[♪ mournful music playing]
2041
01:24:04,100 --> 01:24:05,468
Piled like wood.
2042
01:24:07,041 --> 01:24:08,438
[Cassandra] What did you do?
2043
01:24:10,943 --> 01:24:12,805
I started killing.
2044
01:24:12,940 --> 01:24:15,511
And I couldn't stop.
I didn't wanna stop.
2045
01:24:16,743 --> 01:24:19,385
[Cassandra] All those bad men.
2046
01:24:19,521 --> 01:24:20,582
[groans]
2047
01:24:23,221 --> 01:24:25,092
It's not just the bad ones.
2048
01:24:26,618 --> 01:24:27,754
My little animal.
2049
01:24:30,464 --> 01:24:33,497
And I turned the whole world
against the X-Men.
2050
01:24:33,799 --> 01:24:34,992
Blade!
2051
01:24:40,466 --> 01:24:41,636
Just once...
2052
01:24:43,411 --> 01:24:46,245
I wanna be the man
that Charles thought I was.
2053
01:24:47,406 --> 01:24:48,478
Logan...
2054
01:24:49,943 --> 01:24:53,681
in The Void,
you can be what you are.
2055
01:24:56,022 --> 01:24:57,553
I just wanna be free.
2056
01:24:58,222 --> 01:24:59,951
I can set you free.
2057
01:25:00,387 --> 01:25:01,689
[panting]
2058
01:25:04,896 --> 01:25:06,265
[yelps]
2059
01:25:11,305 --> 01:25:16,510
I can silence
all those voices.
2060
01:25:16,645 --> 01:25:18,068
[silence falls]
2061
01:25:20,649 --> 01:25:21,709
[exhales]
2062
01:25:23,444 --> 01:25:24,448
I've got you.
2063
01:25:26,953 --> 01:25:28,155
I've got you.
2064
01:25:28,722 --> 01:25:29,717
No.
2065
01:25:30,989 --> 01:25:32,225
I got you.
2066
01:25:33,191 --> 01:25:34,485
[indistinct whining]
2067
01:25:34,620 --> 01:25:36,220
[grunting in pain]
2068
01:25:36,356 --> 01:25:37,454
[gasps]
2069
01:25:37,589 --> 01:25:39,232
[yelling]
2070
01:25:40,002 --> 01:25:42,267
[Cassandra grunts] Get it off!
2071
01:25:42,402 --> 01:25:43,764
[Deadpool]
You're gonna send us home,
2072
01:25:43,899 --> 01:25:45,335
or I'm gonna twist
your fucking head off.
2073
01:25:45,471 --> 01:25:47,065
- [laughs]
- Why are you laughing?
2074
01:25:47,634 --> 01:25:48,801
I can't send you home
2075
01:25:48,937 --> 01:25:51,812
unless you get this thing
off my head.
2076
01:25:51,947 --> 01:25:53,137
And as soon as you do that,
2077
01:25:53,272 --> 01:25:55,776
I'm going to boil your brains
on an atomic level
2078
01:25:55,911 --> 01:25:58,810
whilst flicking my bean
to the Enya box set.
2079
01:25:58,945 --> 01:26:00,016
[Deadpool]
There's an Enya box set?
2080
01:26:00,151 --> 01:26:01,544
Either you kill me
2081
01:26:01,680 --> 01:26:02,981
or I kill you.
2082
01:26:03,859 --> 01:26:05,751
Both wonderful options.
2083
01:26:05,887 --> 01:26:06,989
[Deadpool]
You want me to do it?
2084
01:26:07,124 --> 01:26:08,161
No, I'll do it.
2085
01:26:08,297 --> 01:26:09,427
[Deadpool] I have
her neck right here.
2086
01:26:09,562 --> 01:26:11,130
- It's really no problem.
- You'll screw it up.
2087
01:26:11,265 --> 01:26:12,732
[Deadpool]
Oh, come on, Mr. PG-13,
2088
01:26:12,868 --> 01:26:13,791
except the last one!
2089
01:26:13,926 --> 01:26:16,060
- [gunshots]
- What the fuck?
2090
01:26:17,273 --> 01:26:19,430
- [gasping]
- [chuckles] You have no idea
2091
01:26:19,565 --> 01:26:20,534
what it's like!
2092
01:26:20,669 --> 01:26:23,500
Day after day.
Shovel the shit.
2093
01:26:23,635 --> 01:26:25,208
Fetch the meats.
2094
01:26:25,344 --> 01:26:28,314
I have spent my entire exis--
2095
01:26:30,084 --> 01:26:31,579
Not everyone gets a speech.
2096
01:26:31,714 --> 01:26:34,454
- [groaning]
- She's gonna die.
2097
01:26:34,589 --> 01:26:36,056
[Deadpool] Okay. Hey, hey.
If I take this helmet off,
2098
01:26:36,192 --> 01:26:37,848
do you promise
you won't kill us?
2099
01:26:37,984 --> 01:26:39,024
- Fuck!
- [Cassandra] I promise...
2100
01:26:39,159 --> 01:26:40,721
I will kill you first thing.
2101
01:26:40,856 --> 01:26:42,629
[Deadpool] Oh!
Why are you like this?
2102
01:26:42,765 --> 01:26:43,954
I wish I knew.
2103
01:26:44,090 --> 01:26:45,196
- Take it off.
- [Deadpool] What?
2104
01:26:45,331 --> 01:26:46,430
- Take it off.
- [Deadpool] Why?
2105
01:26:46,566 --> 01:26:47,892
- Just take it off.
- This is our only chance
2106
01:26:48,028 --> 01:26:50,160
- to fix our shit!
- Take it off!
2107
01:26:51,907 --> 01:26:54,133
I am wearing this suit.
2108
01:26:54,268 --> 01:26:56,573
And that means
a lot of things,
but most of all...
2109
01:26:57,979 --> 01:26:59,279
it means I'm an X-Man.
2110
01:27:00,179 --> 01:27:01,677
And I know your brother.
2111
01:27:03,946 --> 01:27:05,242
As much as I want
to fucking kill you,
2112
01:27:05,377 --> 01:27:08,080
every bone in my body
wants to fucking kill you,
2113
01:27:08,215 --> 01:27:11,423
he would not let me stand here
and watch you die!
2114
01:27:13,786 --> 01:27:15,152
Take your hands off.
2115
01:27:16,688 --> 01:27:18,089
This is for him.
2116
01:27:19,825 --> 01:27:21,235
This is for Charles.
2117
01:27:23,631 --> 01:27:25,162
[Cassandra panting]
2118
01:27:28,667 --> 01:27:30,003
[exhales deeply]
2119
01:27:30,973 --> 01:27:32,640
- [grunts]
- [Deadpool] Hey, no, no, no!
2120
01:27:32,776 --> 01:27:34,380
Don't you dare
do me like Johnny!
2121
01:27:40,681 --> 01:27:41,750
My brother loved you.
2122
01:27:43,651 --> 01:27:44,720
He loved all of us.
2123
01:27:45,419 --> 01:27:46,425
Hmm.
2124
01:27:47,786 --> 01:27:49,054
Must be nice.
2125
01:27:49,955 --> 01:27:51,397
He would've loved you, too.
2126
01:27:54,101 --> 01:27:55,434
If he knew about you...
2127
01:27:57,072 --> 01:27:58,371
if he knew where you were,
2128
01:27:58,506 --> 01:28:00,664
he would've torn a hole
in the fucking universe
2129
01:28:00,799 --> 01:28:02,034
to bring you home.
2130
01:28:05,704 --> 01:28:06,775
This is my home.
2131
01:28:07,844 --> 01:28:10,207
Well, then at least
let us save his.
2132
01:28:14,156 --> 01:28:15,751
You want to hear
something crazy?
2133
01:28:17,516 --> 01:28:20,624
An amateur magician rolled
through here a while back.
2134
01:28:21,557 --> 01:28:23,361
I killed him, of course.
2135
01:28:23,497 --> 01:28:26,091
Wore his skin around
for four days.
2136
01:28:26,768 --> 01:28:27,701
But
2137
01:28:27,836 --> 01:28:29,461
I found this
2138
01:28:29,597 --> 01:28:31,465
little trinket
2139
01:28:31,600 --> 01:28:33,697
on his lovely fingers.
2140
01:28:33,833 --> 01:28:35,166
[Deadpool] Strange!
2141
01:28:36,702 --> 01:28:37,906
[Deadpool gasps]
2142
01:28:38,041 --> 01:28:40,347
- Marvel sparkle circle.
- [Wolverine] What is that?
2143
01:28:41,049 --> 01:28:42,974
This is your way home.
2144
01:28:43,110 --> 01:28:45,042
I do owe you
for saving my life.
2145
01:28:45,177 --> 01:28:46,681
But let's keep
things interesting.
2146
01:28:46,816 --> 01:28:48,615
I'd say you have
about four seconds
2147
01:28:48,750 --> 01:28:50,247
before you're Alioth's food.
2148
01:28:51,058 --> 01:28:52,623
[Alioth growling]
2149
01:28:54,294 --> 01:28:55,593
[Deadpool chuckles] Race ya.
2150
01:28:59,329 --> 01:29:00,827
[♪ slow jazz plays, Jimmy
Durante "I'll Be Seeing You"]
2151
01:29:00,963 --> 01:29:04,835
♪ I'll be seeing you ♪
2152
01:29:04,971 --> 01:29:10,236
♪ In all the old
familiar places ♪
2153
01:29:10,372 --> 01:29:14,678
♪ That this heart
of mine embraces ♪
2154
01:29:15,647 --> 01:29:17,516
♪ All day through ♪
2155
01:29:20,983 --> 01:29:24,589
♪ In that small cafe ♪
2156
01:29:26,157 --> 01:29:29,396
- ♪ The park across the way ♪
- [screaming]
2157
01:29:31,324 --> 01:29:35,933
♪ The children's carousel ♪
2158
01:29:36,068 --> 01:29:41,001
♪ The chestnut trees,
the wishing well ♪
2159
01:29:42,906 --> 01:29:46,745
♪ I'll be seeing you ♪
2160
01:29:46,881 --> 01:29:50,278
♪ In every lovely
summer's day ♪
2161
01:29:50,413 --> 01:29:51,784
[screams]
2162
01:29:51,919 --> 01:29:56,279
♪ I'll find you
in the morning sun ♪
2163
01:29:56,415 --> 01:30:00,625
♪ And when the night is new ♪
2164
01:30:03,357 --> 01:30:08,666
♪ I'll be looking
at the moon ♪
2165
01:30:10,197 --> 01:30:15,600
♪ But I'll be seeing you ♪
2166
01:30:15,735 --> 01:30:17,202
[Alioth snarls]
2167
01:30:19,178 --> 01:30:21,003
[Peter] And as I said,
we've got
a standard three-year
2168
01:30:21,139 --> 01:30:22,512
bumper to bumper warranty.
2169
01:30:22,647 --> 01:30:24,240
Glad you gave us
a second chance.
2170
01:30:24,376 --> 01:30:26,013
And don't worry.
Wade and I are a team,
2171
01:30:26,148 --> 01:30:27,652
so I'll see he gets
half the commission--
2172
01:30:28,286 --> 01:30:29,222
[all gasp]
2173
01:30:29,357 --> 01:30:30,356
- [Deadpool groans]
- Whoa.
2174
01:30:30,492 --> 01:30:32,592
[Deadpool]
That feels like a Kia.
2175
01:30:32,727 --> 01:30:35,429
It's a fucking Kia Carnival,
isn't it? [groans]
2176
01:30:36,594 --> 01:30:39,461
Holy shit. That's Deadpool.
2177
01:30:39,596 --> 01:30:40,697
And that's Wolverine.
2178
01:30:40,833 --> 01:30:41,791
[Deadpool]
You're damn straight it is.
2179
01:30:41,926 --> 01:30:42,859
Fox killed him.
2180
01:30:42,995 --> 01:30:44,197
Disney brought him back.
2181
01:30:44,332 --> 01:30:45,736
They're going to make him
do this till he's 90.
2182
01:30:46,370 --> 01:30:47,833
Let's go.
2183
01:30:47,968 --> 01:30:49,404
[Peter] I'll clock you out!
2184
01:30:49,540 --> 01:30:50,708
[Deadpool] Forever!
2185
01:30:51,473 --> 01:30:52,578
Forever.
2186
01:30:59,779 --> 01:31:00,715
Wakey-wakey.
2187
01:31:00,850 --> 01:31:02,621
- [snorts] God?
- [chuckles]
2188
01:31:03,889 --> 01:31:07,083
Now, you put all these bullets
in my belly,
2189
01:31:07,218 --> 01:31:09,056
and I'm gonna find out why.
2190
01:31:09,591 --> 01:31:10,662
Whoa, whoa!
2191
01:31:11,396 --> 01:31:13,126
I'll just say it.
2192
01:31:13,261 --> 01:31:14,991
You don't have to stick
your fingers in me.
2193
01:31:15,127 --> 01:31:17,637
Jesus, just ask sometimes.
2194
01:31:17,939 --> 01:31:19,165
Fine.
2195
01:31:20,337 --> 01:31:21,299
Really?
2196
01:31:21,868 --> 01:31:22,965
Hands in pockets.
2197
01:31:23,101 --> 01:31:24,571
[breathing heavily]
2198
01:31:24,706 --> 01:31:26,644
Guy named Paradox.
2199
01:31:26,779 --> 01:31:27,876
He said he'd get me
out of The Void.
2200
01:31:28,011 --> 01:31:30,112
All I know is
he works for the TVA.
2201
01:31:30,248 --> 01:31:31,050
The TVA.
2202
01:31:31,186 --> 01:31:32,515
We had an agreement.
2203
01:31:32,651 --> 01:31:34,448
I don't think this guy cares.
2204
01:31:34,584 --> 01:31:36,546
Huh. He will.
2205
01:31:36,948 --> 01:31:38,152
Hey, people!
2206
01:31:38,287 --> 01:31:40,316
How much longer before
the Time Ripper is active?
2207
01:31:40,452 --> 01:31:42,291
We're running
the final safety checks.
2208
01:31:42,426 --> 01:31:44,592
Oh, okay. All right.
Thanks for all
your hard work, Ralph.
2209
01:31:44,728 --> 01:31:46,099
- Take your time.
- Really?
2210
01:31:46,234 --> 01:31:47,825
No, you drooling boob!
2211
01:31:47,961 --> 01:31:49,163
No! We have company.
2212
01:31:49,298 --> 01:31:52,533
Cancel the safety checks.
We need to be live now!
2213
01:31:52,669 --> 01:31:54,299
Oh, I hate you so much.
2214
01:31:56,374 --> 01:31:57,099
No! Stop!
2215
01:31:57,235 --> 01:31:59,007
Piss off! You're too late.
2216
01:31:59,143 --> 01:32:00,906
- You're fuckin' done.
- Why was Thor crying?
2217
01:32:01,041 --> 01:32:01,941
[Mr. Paradox] How dare you!
2218
01:32:02,077 --> 01:32:04,514
No one comes back
from The Void.
2219
01:32:04,649 --> 01:32:06,212
Tell that to Cassandra Nova.
2220
01:32:07,213 --> 01:32:09,413
[♪ choral music playing]
2221
01:32:14,890 --> 01:32:17,025
Paradox. We have a problem.
2222
01:32:17,791 --> 01:32:18,994
[bones snap]
2223
01:32:19,795 --> 01:32:21,161
[Cassandra] Paradox.
2224
01:32:23,334 --> 01:32:25,798
Well, you are doughier than
you looked in Pyro's head.
2225
01:32:25,933 --> 01:32:27,073
You tried to kill me.
2226
01:32:27,209 --> 01:32:29,035
I literally have no i--
2227
01:32:29,171 --> 01:32:30,903
[Cassandra]
You come for the king,
2228
01:32:31,039 --> 01:32:32,804
you better kill the king.
2229
01:32:32,940 --> 01:32:34,009
[Deadpool] Oh-ho-ho!
2230
01:32:34,144 --> 01:32:36,108
Welcome to
the skull fuck club, Paradox.
2231
01:32:36,244 --> 01:32:38,714
You know she doesn't
wash that hand.
2232
01:32:38,849 --> 01:32:40,217
- Oh.
- [grunting strainfully]
2233
01:32:40,352 --> 01:32:41,445
What's this?
2234
01:32:42,718 --> 01:32:43,814
A Time Ripper?
2235
01:32:43,949 --> 01:32:44,886
Naughty boy.
2236
01:32:45,021 --> 01:32:46,353
[Deadpool] Oh, no.
We're on it.
2237
01:32:46,489 --> 01:32:47,794
We're gonna head down
and dismantle
that thing now.
2238
01:32:47,930 --> 01:32:50,087
We got ya, boo.
You just keep
playing those keys.
2239
01:32:50,222 --> 01:32:51,994
I don't want to destroy it.
2240
01:32:52,563 --> 01:32:54,130
I want to use it.
2241
01:32:54,265 --> 01:32:56,959
Now, shoo. Mummy and Daddy
are having a conversation.
2242
01:32:57,095 --> 01:32:58,638
[both yelling]
2243
01:33:02,472 --> 01:33:03,507
[groans]
2244
01:33:03,643 --> 01:33:05,474
You know, the funny thing is,
2245
01:33:05,610 --> 01:33:07,671
I was happy in The Void.
2246
01:33:07,807 --> 01:33:10,908
You sent your trash to me.
Alioth and I cleaned it up.
2247
01:33:11,044 --> 01:33:13,579
Everyone was happy.
2248
01:33:13,715 --> 01:33:16,984
And then you had to
go and piss on
my side of the fence.
2249
01:33:17,120 --> 01:33:19,888
And so now the fence
must come down.
2250
01:33:20,024 --> 01:33:21,890
I'm going to use
your little Time Ripper.
2251
01:33:22,026 --> 01:33:24,696
And I'm going to destroy
this universe
2252
01:33:24,832 --> 01:33:27,390
and the next and the next
and the next
2253
01:33:27,526 --> 01:33:31,094
until all that's left
is The Void.
2254
01:33:31,229 --> 01:33:33,704
And I get to play God.
2255
01:33:33,840 --> 01:33:35,066
- Come on.
- [Mr. Paradox groans]
2256
01:33:35,201 --> 01:33:36,268
Now you're going to show me
2257
01:33:36,404 --> 01:33:37,972
how to use
this fancy gadget of yours.
2258
01:33:38,108 --> 01:33:39,974
And don't worry,
I've called some friends
2259
01:33:40,110 --> 01:33:41,714
to make sure
we're not disturbed.
2260
01:33:44,851 --> 01:33:46,014
- [knock at door]
- Sorry to bother, madam,
2261
01:33:46,150 --> 01:33:48,085
but there's something
you need to see.
2262
01:33:48,221 --> 01:33:50,553
We're getting indications
of an unsanctioned Time Ripper
2263
01:33:50,689 --> 01:33:53,022
activating on Earth-10005.
2264
01:33:54,659 --> 01:33:56,025
Whose district is that?
2265
01:33:56,625 --> 01:33:57,631
Paradox.
2266
01:34:05,935 --> 01:34:08,037
[Mr. Paradox gasps, exhales]
2267
01:34:09,107 --> 01:34:11,269
Well, thank you so much
for your help, darling.
2268
01:34:11,405 --> 01:34:13,509
God. Good to get out
of that head.
2269
01:34:13,644 --> 01:34:15,682
Whew! What a mess!
2270
01:34:16,811 --> 01:34:18,377
[both groaning]
2271
01:34:23,114 --> 01:34:24,185
[Deadpool] Stop!
2272
01:34:24,320 --> 01:34:26,185
Let's give it a beat
for the extras to clear.
2273
01:34:26,321 --> 01:34:28,552
Go, go, go, go, go!
Oh, my God!
2274
01:34:33,193 --> 01:34:36,099
- Oh. My. God.
- Fuck.
2275
01:34:37,369 --> 01:34:40,234
[♪ classic rock music plays,
"Make Me Lose Control"]
2276
01:34:43,741 --> 01:34:45,371
[Deadpool] It's her!
2277
01:34:46,241 --> 01:34:48,308
- Come on, girl!
- [Dogpool barks]
2278
01:34:49,414 --> 01:34:50,408
[barks]
2279
01:34:50,543 --> 01:34:52,447
♪ Was love always this good ♪
2280
01:34:52,582 --> 01:34:54,714
♪ Or could this be
just the start? ♪
2281
01:34:54,850 --> 01:34:56,217
Come on, girl!
2282
01:34:57,152 --> 01:34:58,981
♪ Baby, baby ♪
2283
01:34:59,117 --> 01:35:04,062
♪ Turn the radio up
for that sweet sound ♪
2284
01:35:04,198 --> 01:35:08,029
♪ Hold me close,
never let me go ♪
2285
01:35:08,165 --> 01:35:10,466
♪ Keep this feelin' alive... ♪
2286
01:35:10,601 --> 01:35:11,700
That's my girl!
2287
01:35:11,836 --> 01:35:13,165
We don't have to be apart
2288
01:35:13,301 --> 01:35:15,199
ever, ever again.
Never, ever...
2289
01:35:15,335 --> 01:35:16,605
- Sorry!
- [Deadpool] Fuck!
2290
01:35:16,740 --> 01:35:17,709
[♪ song stops]
2291
01:35:17,845 --> 01:35:19,438
What's Cafe Gratitude
doing here?
2292
01:35:19,573 --> 01:35:20,978
- Sorry about that.
- [Dogpool whimpering]
2293
01:35:21,113 --> 01:35:23,075
[Deadpool] Tremble not,
sweet Mary Puppins.
2294
01:35:23,210 --> 01:35:24,913
[whispers] I'll handle him.
2295
01:35:25,048 --> 01:35:26,281
Come here, girl.
Papa's here.
2296
01:35:26,417 --> 01:35:29,181
[Deadpool] Hey, do not insult
this animal's autonomy.
2297
01:35:29,316 --> 01:35:31,556
She can decide
who her papa is.
2298
01:35:31,692 --> 01:35:32,724
What's it gonna be, girl, huh?
2299
01:35:32,860 --> 01:35:35,158
Original recipe
or Van Milder here?
2300
01:35:35,294 --> 01:35:39,331
Ah, that's funny. I can gently
tap the fourth wall too.
2301
01:35:39,466 --> 01:35:40,591
The Proposal.
2302
01:35:42,065 --> 01:35:43,097
[Deadpool] The fuck was that?
2303
01:35:43,233 --> 01:35:44,765
Bitch, you think
that's what I do?
2304
01:35:44,901 --> 01:35:46,067
Both of you shut up.
2305
01:35:46,203 --> 01:35:47,899
- [sniffs]
- You smell somethin'?
2306
01:35:48,034 --> 01:35:48,970
Yeah, you.
2307
01:35:49,105 --> 01:35:51,337
- [sniffs]
- A lot of you.
2308
01:35:51,472 --> 01:35:54,143
[♪ dramatic mysterious
music playing]
2309
01:36:05,358 --> 01:36:06,585
[tink]
2310
01:36:06,721 --> 01:36:08,858
Told you there were
a lot of Deadpools over there.
2311
01:36:08,994 --> 01:36:11,193
[♪ dramatic music continues]
2312
01:36:20,607 --> 01:36:21,731
[Deadpool] That's bad.
2313
01:36:39,889 --> 01:36:41,223
[neck cracks]
2314
01:36:42,993 --> 01:36:43,993
[♪ music fades out]
2315
01:36:44,129 --> 01:36:45,430
I take it
they're not friendly.
2316
01:36:45,566 --> 01:36:46,523
[Nicepool] Goodness, no.
2317
01:36:46,659 --> 01:36:48,429
Sorry about this, boys.
Mission over.
2318
01:36:48,564 --> 01:36:51,534
Cause of death, one hundred
kill-thirsty Deadpools.
2319
01:36:51,670 --> 01:36:52,595
They're dumb.
2320
01:36:52,731 --> 01:36:54,272
But they can fight.
Not me, though.
2321
01:36:54,407 --> 01:36:56,973
Would love to get in the mix,
but I have low bone density
2322
01:36:57,109 --> 01:36:58,876
and I have to keep
my face safe.
2323
01:36:59,012 --> 01:37:00,175
[Deadpool smooches]
Hold, please.
2324
01:37:00,311 --> 01:37:02,178
- Oh, God.
- [Deadpool] All right. Look.
2325
01:37:02,679 --> 01:37:03,674
Guys!
2326
01:37:04,849 --> 01:37:06,446
Deadpool Prime here.
2327
01:37:06,581 --> 01:37:08,047
- Our fight isn't with you--
- [kid] Hey!
2328
01:37:08,183 --> 01:37:09,515
When I want your opinion,
2329
01:37:09,651 --> 01:37:11,889
I'll take Wolverine's dick
out of your mouth.
2330
01:37:12,025 --> 01:37:13,693
That's Kidpool.
She's the dirtiest.
2331
01:37:13,828 --> 01:37:14,894
[Deadpool]
Can we just be done?
2332
01:37:15,029 --> 01:37:16,793
[Ladypool] Ooh,
we're just getting started.
2333
01:37:16,929 --> 01:37:17,861
[Deadpool] No, no, no, no, no.
2334
01:37:17,997 --> 01:37:20,460
With the whole
multiverse thing.
2335
01:37:21,402 --> 01:37:22,632
It's not great.
2336
01:37:22,768 --> 01:37:24,102
It's just been miss
2337
01:37:24,471 --> 01:37:25,865
after miss
2338
01:37:26,000 --> 01:37:27,930
after miss.
2339
01:37:28,065 --> 01:37:30,272
Look, The Wizard of Oz
did the multiverse first,
2340
01:37:30,407 --> 01:37:33,138
and they did it best.
The gays knew it.
2341
01:37:33,273 --> 01:37:34,373
But we didn't listen.
2342
01:37:34,509 --> 01:37:37,379
Let's just take the L
and move on.
2343
01:37:37,515 --> 01:37:39,984
I think it's been
steadily great since Endgame.
2344
01:37:40,120 --> 01:37:41,585
[Ladypool]
What are you talking about?
2345
01:37:41,721 --> 01:37:43,184
The multiverse is over.
2346
01:37:43,320 --> 01:37:44,480
[Cowboypool]
Cassandy gonna destroy
2347
01:37:44,616 --> 01:37:46,220
the fuck outta every timeline.
2348
01:37:46,355 --> 01:37:47,725
Heh. Y'all can't do shit
about it.
2349
01:37:47,861 --> 01:37:48,827
[Deadpool] Do you not get it?
2350
01:37:48,963 --> 01:37:49,924
If we don't go down
to the subway
2351
01:37:50,060 --> 01:37:50,994
and stop her, we all die.
2352
01:37:51,129 --> 01:37:52,125
[Cowboypool]
Say, the boss lady
2353
01:37:52,260 --> 01:37:53,326
don't want no disturbances.
2354
01:37:53,462 --> 01:37:55,126
You wanna get down
to the subway,
2355
01:37:55,262 --> 01:37:56,434
you gotta go through us.
2356
01:37:56,569 --> 01:37:57,701
Uzi time, baby.
2357
01:37:57,837 --> 01:37:58,768
[Ladypool] Uzi time, baby.
2358
01:37:58,903 --> 01:38:00,203
[Deadpool] Look alive!
2359
01:38:00,837 --> 01:38:02,106
[Headpool yells]
2360
01:38:08,514 --> 01:38:09,575
[grunts]
2361
01:38:09,710 --> 01:38:11,076
- I think I'm hit.
- [Wolverine] No shit.
2362
01:38:11,212 --> 01:38:12,147
You did that on purpose.
2363
01:38:12,282 --> 01:38:13,914
[Deadpool]
I did no such thing!
2364
01:38:14,050 --> 01:38:15,185
Listen to me, gorgeous.
2365
01:38:15,321 --> 01:38:16,586
How long does it take
for you to regenerate?
2366
01:38:16,721 --> 01:38:18,122
Regenerate?
2367
01:38:20,026 --> 01:38:22,292
- [crow caws]
- [Dogpool grunts]
2368
01:38:22,661 --> 01:38:24,053
[retches]
2369
01:38:24,189 --> 01:38:25,931
You really are
God's perfect idiot,
aren't you?
2370
01:38:26,066 --> 01:38:27,359
- I'm okay.
- [Deadpool] How dare you!
2371
01:38:27,494 --> 01:38:29,431
You insensitive
son of a bitch!
2372
01:38:29,566 --> 01:38:31,636
How was I supposed to know
he doesn't regenerate?
2373
01:38:31,772 --> 01:38:33,171
I'm not a medicine woman.
2374
01:38:33,307 --> 01:38:35,532
Look. A donut cart.
They're practically hospitals.
2375
01:38:35,667 --> 01:38:36,600
- What?
- [Deadpool] They sell
2376
01:38:36,736 --> 01:38:37,910
- portable triage units.
- They don't.
2377
01:38:38,046 --> 01:38:39,075
[Deadpool] I'm gonna
get you to safety.
2378
01:38:39,210 --> 01:38:41,145
- He's not.
- [Deadpool] Deep breath.
2379
01:38:48,346 --> 01:38:49,082
[panting]
2380
01:38:49,218 --> 01:38:51,220
Hey, why are we stopping?
2381
01:38:51,356 --> 01:38:52,553
[Deadpool]
I'm just catching my breath.
2382
01:38:52,688 --> 01:38:55,518
What, are your legs on
vacation? You're dead weight!
2383
01:38:55,654 --> 01:38:57,119
That's because I'm paralyzed.
2384
01:38:57,255 --> 01:38:59,465
[Deadpool]
We all have problems.
Listen to me.
2385
01:38:59,600 --> 01:39:00,593
You're gonna live.
2386
01:39:01,702 --> 01:39:02,798
Look at me, Nicepool.
2387
01:39:02,934 --> 01:39:04,498
[gunfire continues]
2388
01:39:06,871 --> 01:39:08,205
You're gonna live.
2389
01:39:08,772 --> 01:39:10,141
Say it!
2390
01:39:10,610 --> 01:39:12,042
I'm gonna live.
2391
01:39:12,177 --> 01:39:14,140
Say it with me.
You're gonna live.
2392
01:39:14,276 --> 01:39:16,277
[fumbling] I'm gonna live!
2393
01:39:16,413 --> 01:39:19,880
[Deadpool] Ha-hah!
Say it louder!
2394
01:39:20,015 --> 01:39:21,350
I'm gonna live--
2395
01:39:24,459 --> 01:39:25,585
[gunfire]
2396
01:39:30,091 --> 01:39:31,624
Hold your fire!
2397
01:39:33,558 --> 01:39:35,001
Sweet little puppy.
2398
01:39:45,013 --> 01:39:46,406
[Deadpool grunting]
God damn it!
2399
01:39:46,542 --> 01:39:48,547
I don't think
he's gonna make it.
2400
01:39:48,683 --> 01:39:50,210
God, he loved his face.
2401
01:39:50,346 --> 01:39:52,848
I can taste his final thought.
2402
01:39:52,983 --> 01:39:54,520
He was so afraid.
2403
01:39:54,656 --> 01:39:55,712
But he died a hero.
2404
01:39:55,848 --> 01:39:57,782
He died from murder,
you dumb fuck.
2405
01:39:57,918 --> 01:39:59,751
[Deadpool] And all I have
to remember him by
2406
01:40:00,685 --> 01:40:02,323
are these two gold-plated,
2407
01:40:02,459 --> 01:40:04,628
...50 caliber
Desert Eagle pistoleros.
2408
01:40:04,763 --> 01:40:05,757
This is for him.
2409
01:40:06,458 --> 01:40:07,931
Are you ready?
2410
01:40:08,067 --> 01:40:09,866
I get to kill a hundred yous?
2411
01:40:10,001 --> 01:40:11,369
Fuck yeah, I'm ready.
2412
01:40:12,239 --> 01:40:13,662
Hey, you don't want
to see this, bub.
2413
01:40:13,798 --> 01:40:15,131
[Deadpool] That's a good girl.
2414
01:40:15,267 --> 01:40:18,011
[♪ '80s pop music plays,
Madonna "Like a Prayer"]
2415
01:40:19,310 --> 01:40:23,642
♪ Life is a mystery ♪
2416
01:40:23,777 --> 01:40:27,943
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪
2417
01:40:28,079 --> 01:40:32,781
♪ I hear you call my name ♪
2418
01:40:32,917 --> 01:40:36,722
♪ And it feels like ♪
2419
01:40:37,624 --> 01:40:39,527
♪ Home... ♪
2420
01:40:51,812 --> 01:40:53,276
[Deadpool] Holy shit.
2421
01:40:53,412 --> 01:40:55,646
You save the good stuff
for special occasions?
2422
01:40:55,781 --> 01:40:56,983
Killing, mostly.
2423
01:40:57,118 --> 01:40:58,145
[Deadpool]
What's the wind resistance
2424
01:40:58,281 --> 01:40:59,281
on those blowjob handles?
2425
01:40:59,416 --> 01:41:01,351
- [grunts]
- [laughs] I'm sorry.
2426
01:41:01,486 --> 01:41:04,019
I'm just a catty bitch
when I'm jealous.
2427
01:41:04,155 --> 01:41:05,722
All right, let's do this.
2428
01:41:05,857 --> 01:41:07,225
Maximum effort.
2429
01:41:09,863 --> 01:41:11,064
[♪ song pauses]
2430
01:41:14,626 --> 01:41:16,102
[Deadpools yelling]
2431
01:41:17,404 --> 01:41:19,000
- [♪ song resumes playing]
- [all grunting]
2432
01:41:19,136 --> 01:41:22,366
♪ When you call my name
It's like a little prayer ♪
2433
01:41:22,501 --> 01:41:26,612
♪ I'm down on my knees
I want to take you there ♪
2434
01:41:26,747 --> 01:41:30,781
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪
2435
01:41:30,916 --> 01:41:35,085
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪
2436
01:41:35,221 --> 01:41:39,091
♪ Life is a mystery ♪
2437
01:41:39,226 --> 01:41:43,260
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪
2438
01:41:43,396 --> 01:41:46,631
♪ I hear you call my name ♪
2439
01:41:46,766 --> 01:41:47,900
You're dead.
2440
01:41:48,036 --> 01:41:52,028
♪ And it feels like ♪
2441
01:41:53,775 --> 01:41:55,139
[Deadpools yelling]
2442
01:41:55,275 --> 01:41:57,599
♪ Let the choir sing ♪
2443
01:41:57,735 --> 01:42:01,613
♪ When you call my name
It's like a little prayer ♪
2444
01:42:01,749 --> 01:42:06,014
♪ I'm down on my knees
I wanna take you there ♪
2445
01:42:06,149 --> 01:42:10,150
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪
2446
01:42:10,285 --> 01:42:13,592
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪
2447
01:42:13,728 --> 01:42:15,128
Motherfucker.
2448
01:42:15,863 --> 01:42:17,260
I wish I were deaf.
2449
01:42:17,396 --> 01:42:18,427
♪ I'll take you there ♪
2450
01:42:18,563 --> 01:42:20,123
♪ It's like a dream to me ♪
2451
01:42:20,258 --> 01:42:22,357
♪ Oh oh, yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
2452
01:42:22,493 --> 01:42:25,003
♪ Just like a prayer,
I'll take you there ♪
2453
01:42:25,139 --> 01:42:26,666
♪ Oh yeah, yeah ♪
2454
01:42:26,802 --> 01:42:28,973
♪ It's like a dream to me ♪
2455
01:42:29,108 --> 01:42:32,111
♪ Oh, oh ♪
2456
01:42:32,246 --> 01:42:35,643
♪ It's like a prayer... ♪
2457
01:42:37,277 --> 01:42:39,211
[crying Deadpool] I don't
wanna die. I don't wanna die.
2458
01:42:39,346 --> 01:42:40,450
I don't wanna...
2459
01:42:48,061 --> 01:42:50,262
[♪ outro music playing]
2460
01:42:52,464 --> 01:42:53,864
- [♪ song ends]
- [Deadpool grunts]
2461
01:42:54,000 --> 01:42:55,293
[Deadpool] Come on.
2462
01:42:55,429 --> 01:42:56,699
Oh, I blew it.
2463
01:42:56,834 --> 01:42:58,563
After all that, the only thing
they're gonna remember
2464
01:42:58,698 --> 01:43:00,536
is that God-awful dismount!
2465
01:43:01,467 --> 01:43:03,000
[giggling]
2466
01:43:05,203 --> 01:43:06,811
What you laughing at,
you little fucker?
2467
01:43:06,946 --> 01:43:08,043
[Babypool] Uh-oh.
2468
01:43:08,178 --> 01:43:09,341
[Deadpool] Uh-oh.
2469
01:43:09,476 --> 01:43:11,075
[Babypool cooing]
2470
01:43:11,611 --> 01:43:13,545
[Babypool giggling]
2471
01:43:13,681 --> 01:43:15,353
I guess these ones regenerate.
2472
01:43:17,258 --> 01:43:19,758
Come on.
We don't have time for this.
2473
01:43:19,893 --> 01:43:20,824
[Peter] Deadpools!
2474
01:43:20,959 --> 01:43:22,327
Stand down.
2475
01:43:23,328 --> 01:43:25,528
[♪ heroic music playing]
2476
01:43:32,731 --> 01:43:34,036
This Deadpool's with me.
2477
01:43:34,171 --> 01:43:35,533
[Deadpool] Oh, no.
2478
01:43:35,668 --> 01:43:36,933
[Ladypool] Holy shit.
2479
01:43:37,069 --> 01:43:38,535
[Kidpool]
That's fuckin' Peter!
2480
01:43:38,671 --> 01:43:40,246
[Deadpools cheering]
2481
01:43:41,547 --> 01:43:43,240
[Deadpool] Wait, you...
You guys know Peter?
2482
01:43:43,376 --> 01:43:45,382
[Ladypool] You kidding me?
Every Deadpool has a Peter.
2483
01:43:45,518 --> 01:43:47,809
[Cowboypool] Shit.
Peter's a goddamn legend
2484
01:43:47,945 --> 01:43:49,381
in every Deadpool's world.
2485
01:43:49,516 --> 01:43:51,757
Peter- san. Hai.
2486
01:43:51,893 --> 01:43:53,523
[Deadpools cheering]
2487
01:43:57,931 --> 01:43:58,990
[Peter laughs]
2488
01:43:59,125 --> 01:44:00,959
[Deadpools chanting]
Peter. Peter. Peter.
2489
01:44:01,094 --> 01:44:04,270
Peter. Peter. Peter.
Peter. Peter. Peter.
2490
01:44:04,405 --> 01:44:06,971
- Peter. Peter. Peter.
- [Peter laughing]
2491
01:44:07,107 --> 01:44:08,736
[Deadpool] Enjoy my Peter.
2492
01:44:10,073 --> 01:44:13,279
- [♪ tense music playing]
- [Time Ripper thrumming]
2493
01:44:28,754 --> 01:44:30,329
[Time Ripper whirring]
2494
01:44:36,135 --> 01:44:37,193
Oh, now you're here.
2495
01:44:37,328 --> 01:44:38,628
Oh, well, you're too late.
It's all over.
2496
01:44:38,763 --> 01:44:39,933
Not yet, it's not.
2497
01:44:40,068 --> 01:44:41,567
[Deadpool] Whoa. No, no, no.
We're very close.
2498
01:44:41,702 --> 01:44:42,975
Homestretch, folks. Promise.
2499
01:44:43,110 --> 01:44:44,706
Quick, let's up the stakes.
2500
01:44:44,841 --> 01:44:46,138
If she steals
the Time Ripper's energy,
2501
01:44:46,274 --> 01:44:48,776
she has the power to shred
the fabric of all realities
2502
01:44:48,911 --> 01:44:50,541
until there is nothing left
but The Void.
2503
01:44:50,677 --> 01:44:51,816
How do we shut it down?
2504
01:44:51,952 --> 01:44:53,016
I don't know.
2505
01:44:53,152 --> 01:44:54,645
[Mr. Paradox grunts]
2506
01:44:54,781 --> 01:44:55,982
[Wolverine] How about now?
2507
01:44:56,117 --> 01:44:57,280
[Deadpool] The mask
is really intimidating, huh?
2508
01:44:57,415 --> 01:44:59,484
It's like Batman,
except he can move his neck.
2509
01:44:59,620 --> 01:45:01,218
Okay, look, look, look.
2510
01:45:02,421 --> 01:45:04,892
The Ripper is fed from
a secure chamber below ground.
2511
01:45:05,028 --> 01:45:07,957
It is powered by twin matter
and anti-matter feeds
2512
01:45:08,092 --> 01:45:09,429
converging inside the device.
2513
01:45:09,565 --> 01:45:10,633
Now, Cassandra Nova
2514
01:45:10,768 --> 01:45:11,965
is redirecting
the Ripper's power
2515
01:45:12,100 --> 01:45:13,997
to eliminate all timelines,
starting with this one.
2516
01:45:14,133 --> 01:45:15,398
Theoretically,
you could stop her
2517
01:45:15,533 --> 01:45:17,401
by short-circuiting the feeds
in the chamber below.
2518
01:45:17,536 --> 01:45:20,039
One of you were to create a
circuit between the two feeds,
2519
01:45:20,174 --> 01:45:23,306
then the released power
would destroy the machine.
2520
01:45:23,441 --> 01:45:25,175
- But, well... But--
- [Deadpool] Come on, man.
2521
01:45:25,310 --> 01:45:27,310
If you're not gonna swallow,
spit it out.
2522
01:45:27,445 --> 01:45:30,680
Whoever formed the bridge
would be annihilated.
2523
01:45:30,816 --> 01:45:32,151
I could live with that.
2524
01:45:32,287 --> 01:45:33,525
[Deadpool] Yeah, I could live
with that, too, actually.
2525
01:45:33,661 --> 01:45:34,922
You know, we survive anything.
We're like cockroaches.
2526
01:45:35,058 --> 01:45:35,886
- [Deadpool chuckles]
- [Mr. Paradox] Not this time.
2527
01:45:36,021 --> 01:45:38,264
This is matter
and anti-matter.
2528
01:45:38,399 --> 01:45:40,323
They do not play nicely
with each other.
2529
01:45:40,459 --> 01:45:43,831
When they mix in your body,
you will be atomized.
2530
01:45:43,967 --> 01:45:45,933
Trust the laws of physics
if you don't trust me.
2531
01:45:46,069 --> 01:45:48,104
Even if you lived long enough
to make the circuit,
2532
01:45:48,240 --> 01:45:51,069
you will die down there.
2533
01:45:56,576 --> 01:45:57,713
[crackling]
2534
01:46:05,283 --> 01:46:07,584
[♪ dramatic choral
music playing]
2535
01:46:07,719 --> 01:46:09,120
[moaning]
2536
01:46:16,170 --> 01:46:17,632
[Wolverine] Hold off. Hold.
2537
01:46:17,768 --> 01:46:19,164
You heard
that asshole upstairs.
2538
01:46:19,300 --> 01:46:23,903
Even if we pull this off,
we're dead. Permanently.
2539
01:46:24,038 --> 01:46:26,269
- That's why it's got to be me.
- What?
2540
01:46:29,974 --> 01:46:31,909
Look, man... [panting]
2541
01:46:32,044 --> 01:46:34,281
you didn't ask
for any of this.
2542
01:46:34,416 --> 01:46:35,654
You were right.
2543
01:46:35,790 --> 01:46:36,983
I lied.
2544
01:46:37,686 --> 01:46:39,249
I lied right to your face
2545
01:46:39,384 --> 01:46:41,493
just to get you to help me.
And you did.
2546
01:46:42,424 --> 01:46:43,990
You didn't lie.
2547
01:46:45,793 --> 01:46:47,290
You made an educated wish.
2548
01:46:50,365 --> 01:46:51,360
Come on.
2549
01:46:52,363 --> 01:46:54,363
You got a whole world
to go back to.
2550
01:46:55,867 --> 01:46:57,069
I got nothin'.
2551
01:46:59,013 --> 01:47:00,204
I got nothin'.
2552
01:47:05,052 --> 01:47:06,243
Give me this.
2553
01:47:13,289 --> 01:47:14,460
Hey.
2554
01:47:18,863 --> 01:47:20,730
I waited a long time
for this team-up.
2555
01:47:22,961 --> 01:47:24,228
You know something?
2556
01:47:25,965 --> 01:47:27,563
You were the best Wolverine.
2557
01:47:28,332 --> 01:47:30,542
[♪ sentimental music playing]
2558
01:47:36,240 --> 01:47:38,275
Say hi to your friends for me.
2559
01:47:46,951 --> 01:47:48,219
[Wolverine grunts]
2560
01:47:50,458 --> 01:47:51,391
No!
2561
01:47:51,527 --> 01:47:52,897
Open the door!
2562
01:47:53,032 --> 01:47:55,158
[Deadpool] I can't hear you
over all the noble sacrifice.
2563
01:47:55,294 --> 01:47:56,798
Why are you
fucking doing this?
2564
01:47:56,933 --> 01:48:00,033
[Deadpool]
Because I'm Marvel Jesus.
2565
01:48:01,602 --> 01:48:02,607
Or Spock.
2566
01:48:03,802 --> 01:48:04,734
Hard to say.
2567
01:48:04,869 --> 01:48:06,204
[glass squeaks]
2568
01:48:07,476 --> 01:48:08,580
[smooches]
2569
01:48:09,512 --> 01:48:10,807
[Wolverine] Wade!
2570
01:48:10,942 --> 01:48:13,112
You fucking idiot!
2571
01:48:16,988 --> 01:48:19,688
[Deadpool laughs]
Sorry, I'm just stalling.
2572
01:48:19,824 --> 01:48:21,725
I think I'm nervous
about dying.
2573
01:48:22,591 --> 01:48:24,124
This should be me.
2574
01:48:24,259 --> 01:48:25,954
[Deadpool] Say hi to
my friends for me, peanut.
2575
01:48:26,089 --> 01:48:27,359
[Wolverine] Wade!
2576
01:48:27,494 --> 01:48:29,293
You want to be
an annoying prick,
do it this side!
2577
01:48:29,428 --> 01:48:31,564
You're gonna die in there,
you dumb fuck!
2578
01:48:31,700 --> 01:48:33,198
[breathing heavily]
2579
01:48:38,436 --> 01:48:40,404
Hey! You don't need
to do this.
2580
01:48:40,539 --> 01:48:42,438
[Deadpool] I'm not doing it
'cause I need it.
2581
01:48:43,241 --> 01:48:45,443
I'm doing it
because they do.
2582
01:48:45,579 --> 01:48:46,717
[grunts]
2583
01:48:48,979 --> 01:48:50,754
[straining]
2584
01:48:56,425 --> 01:48:57,629
No!
2585
01:48:58,560 --> 01:48:59,697
[grunting]
2586
01:49:01,827 --> 01:49:03,393
[straining]
2587
01:49:11,308 --> 01:49:12,336
[grunts]
2588
01:49:14,004 --> 01:49:15,614
[straining]
2589
01:49:22,012 --> 01:49:23,380
[exhales]
2590
01:49:24,148 --> 01:49:25,415
[continues straining]
2591
01:49:26,887 --> 01:49:28,484
He's not gonna make it.
2592
01:49:31,890 --> 01:49:33,258
[strains]
2593
01:49:37,071 --> 01:49:38,329
It's over.
2594
01:49:40,007 --> 01:49:41,200
[grunts]
2595
01:49:41,900 --> 01:49:43,235
[straining]
2596
01:49:46,511 --> 01:49:48,075
[continues straining]
2597
01:49:50,909 --> 01:49:52,113
[screaming]
2598
01:49:52,248 --> 01:49:53,244
[choir]
♪ When you call my name ♪
2599
01:49:53,379 --> 01:49:54,981
♪ It's like a little prayer ♪
2600
01:49:55,117 --> 01:49:57,083
♪ I'm down on my knees ♪
2601
01:49:57,219 --> 01:49:59,355
♪ I want to take you there ♪
2602
01:49:59,490 --> 01:50:03,293
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪
2603
01:50:03,428 --> 01:50:06,559
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪
2604
01:50:06,694 --> 01:50:07,729
[grunting]
2605
01:50:07,865 --> 01:50:09,665
♪ Take you there ♪
2606
01:50:09,801 --> 01:50:13,770
♪ Life is a mystery ♪
2607
01:50:13,905 --> 01:50:16,701
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪
2608
01:50:16,836 --> 01:50:18,470
[straining]
2609
01:50:18,606 --> 01:50:22,177
- ♪ I hear you call my name ♪
- [grunting]
2610
01:50:22,313 --> 01:50:24,276
- ♪ And it feels like ♪
- [straining]
2611
01:50:26,614 --> 01:50:30,517
- ♪ And it feels like home ♪
- [straining]
2612
01:50:30,652 --> 01:50:32,152
[rumbling]
2613
01:50:38,759 --> 01:50:40,325
[yelling]
2614
01:50:40,794 --> 01:50:42,393
[screaming]
2615
01:50:44,470 --> 01:50:45,568
[♪ music fades]
2616
01:50:45,703 --> 01:50:47,167
[Deadpool] The Wolverine.
2617
01:50:48,035 --> 01:50:50,071
He's a hero in my world.
2618
01:50:52,110 --> 01:50:53,135
[Wolverine] Whoever
you think I am,
2619
01:50:53,270 --> 01:50:54,713
you got the wrong guy.
2620
01:50:56,147 --> 01:50:58,112
[Laura] You were always
the wrong guy...
2621
01:50:59,551 --> 01:51:00,485
till you weren't.
2622
01:51:00,621 --> 01:51:02,947
♪ Life is a mystery ♪
2623
01:51:03,083 --> 01:51:04,381
[Mr. Paradox] Wade.
2624
01:51:04,516 --> 01:51:06,417
♪ Everyone must stand alone ♪
2625
01:51:06,552 --> 01:51:10,926
Wade. You can finally,
finally matter.
2626
01:51:11,061 --> 01:51:13,091
♪ I hear you call my name ♪
2627
01:51:13,226 --> 01:51:17,670
♪ And it feels like ♪
2628
01:51:18,604 --> 01:51:22,338
♪ Home ♪
2629
01:51:22,473 --> 01:51:23,673
[straining]
2630
01:51:23,809 --> 01:51:26,736
♪ I hear your voice ♪
2631
01:51:26,872 --> 01:51:28,041
Vanessa.
2632
01:51:28,177 --> 01:51:30,546
♪ It's like an angel sighing ♪
2633
01:51:30,682 --> 01:51:32,083
I wanna see Vanessa.
2634
01:51:32,219 --> 01:51:36,213
♪ I have no choice
I hear your voice ♪
2635
01:51:36,349 --> 01:51:38,452
♪ Feels like flying ♪
2636
01:51:38,588 --> 01:51:43,157
For the first time in my life,
I am proud to wear this suit.
2637
01:51:44,123 --> 01:51:46,061
It means I'm an X-Man.
2638
01:51:48,466 --> 01:51:49,833
I am the X-Man.
2639
01:51:49,968 --> 01:51:51,764
♪ I can feel your power ♪
2640
01:51:51,899 --> 01:51:55,503
♪ Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there ♪
2641
01:51:55,638 --> 01:51:57,242
[screaming]
2642
01:51:57,378 --> 01:52:00,073
♪ When you call my name
It's like a little prayer ♪
2643
01:52:00,209 --> 01:52:02,609
♪ I'm down on my knees ♪
2644
01:52:02,744 --> 01:52:04,282
[screaming]
2645
01:52:04,417 --> 01:52:08,146
♪ In the midnight hour
I can feel your power ♪
2646
01:52:08,282 --> 01:52:09,815
♪ Just like a prayer ♪
2647
01:52:09,950 --> 01:52:13,759
♪ You know I'll take you,
take you, take you ♪
2648
01:52:16,090 --> 01:52:17,389
[♪ song fades out]
2649
01:52:24,638 --> 01:52:26,629
[♪ solemn music playing]
2650
01:52:33,973 --> 01:52:35,605
[woman] Paradox.
2651
01:52:37,450 --> 01:52:38,779
You've been busy.
2652
01:52:38,915 --> 01:52:40,116
Well, somebody had to be.
2653
01:52:40,251 --> 01:52:41,949
We had some strange readings
from this location.
2654
01:52:42,085 --> 01:52:43,183
You wouldn't know
anything about
2655
01:52:43,319 --> 01:52:45,723
an unsanctioned Time Ripper,
would you?
2656
01:52:45,859 --> 01:52:47,351
Uh, no. No.
I wouldn't know anything
2657
01:52:47,487 --> 01:52:49,056
about an unsanctioned
Time Ripper.
2658
01:52:49,192 --> 01:52:50,791
Maybe you should ask
Cassandra Nova.
2659
01:52:50,926 --> 01:52:51,995
Because I was assured
2660
01:52:52,130 --> 01:52:54,393
that she was safely held
in The Void. But no,
2661
01:52:54,528 --> 01:52:56,662
she was here.
And she fondled my brain.
2662
01:52:56,798 --> 01:52:58,967
- How did you let this happen?
- You weren't involved at all?
2663
01:52:59,103 --> 01:53:01,703
In stopping her, yes!
Yes, I was.
2664
01:53:01,838 --> 01:53:03,272
But not nearly enough.
2665
01:53:03,407 --> 01:53:05,778
Not as much as the men
who went down there after her.
2666
01:53:06,510 --> 01:53:07,571
My men.
2667
01:53:08,381 --> 01:53:09,375
My friends.
2668
01:53:10,681 --> 01:53:12,006
I warned them.
2669
01:53:12,142 --> 01:53:13,243
That they would be completely
obliterated if they went.
2670
01:53:13,379 --> 01:53:15,117
But they went anyway. Like...
2671
01:53:16,752 --> 01:53:18,051
Like heroes.
2672
01:53:18,186 --> 01:53:19,788
[♪ somber music playing]
2673
01:53:19,924 --> 01:53:21,651
Because that's who they were.
2674
01:53:24,359 --> 01:53:26,095
They just did
what they had to do.
2675
01:53:27,230 --> 01:53:29,098
With no concern
for their own safety.
2676
01:53:32,401 --> 01:53:35,838
The fact that we are
all still standing here
2677
01:53:35,974 --> 01:53:38,767
is a testament
to their heroism.
2678
01:53:42,344 --> 01:53:43,645
Anyway, there's nothing
you or I can do
2679
01:53:43,781 --> 01:53:45,015
to bring them back now.
2680
01:53:46,479 --> 01:53:48,483
[Deadpool] He has risen,
baby girl.
2681
01:53:48,618 --> 01:53:49,979
Fuck!
2682
01:53:50,114 --> 01:53:54,083
♪ And I don't want
the world to see me ♪
2683
01:53:54,219 --> 01:53:58,988
♪ 'Cause I don't think
that they'd understand ♪
2684
01:53:59,124 --> 01:54:03,135
♪ When everything's
made to be broken ♪
2685
01:54:03,270 --> 01:54:08,939
♪ I just want you
to know who I am ♪
2686
01:54:09,075 --> 01:54:10,205
[Deadpool]
Found your new Anchor Being.
2687
01:54:10,341 --> 01:54:13,011
And we're doing just fine,
you piece of shit.
2688
01:54:13,146 --> 01:54:14,576
- [female TVA agent] Mm.
- [male TVA agent] Mm-hmm.
2689
01:54:14,711 --> 01:54:16,080
Fine indeed.
2690
01:54:16,215 --> 01:54:18,977
[Deadpool] All right.
Put your greasy tits away,
2691
01:54:19,112 --> 01:54:20,080
you preening slut.
2692
01:54:20,215 --> 01:54:22,587
- [sighs]
- I don't understand.
2693
01:54:22,722 --> 01:54:24,112
How are you two still alive?
2694
01:54:24,248 --> 01:54:25,954
[Deadpool] You were right. One
of us would have been killed.
2695
01:54:26,090 --> 01:54:27,789
- [gasps]
- But you put a Deadpool
2696
01:54:27,925 --> 01:54:29,159
and a Wolverine together,
2697
01:54:29,295 --> 01:54:31,563
make 'em hold hands
while listening to Madonna...
2698
01:54:31,699 --> 01:54:34,032
indestructible, motherfucker.
2699
01:54:34,167 --> 01:54:36,130
Let's get this Deadpool
Variant back to The Void.
2700
01:54:36,266 --> 01:54:37,458
[Deadpool] Wait, hold on.
What?
2701
01:54:37,594 --> 01:54:38,526
[Peter] Nope. Actually...
2702
01:54:38,662 --> 01:54:40,305
This one's homegrown, like me.
2703
01:54:40,440 --> 01:54:41,636
He belongs here.
2704
01:54:41,771 --> 01:54:42,764
And you are?
2705
01:54:42,899 --> 01:54:45,570
Peterpool.
But you can call me Peter.
2706
01:54:47,075 --> 01:54:48,375
And I hope that you do.
2707
01:54:54,482 --> 01:54:56,015
What the fuck
is happening here?
2708
01:54:56,150 --> 01:54:57,879
You are under judgment
2709
01:54:58,014 --> 01:54:59,923
for operating
an unsanctioned Time Ripper.
2710
01:55:00,059 --> 01:55:01,120
- Take him.
- I was just doing what
2711
01:55:01,256 --> 01:55:02,757
you don't have
the guts to do.
2712
01:55:02,893 --> 01:55:03,895
[Deadpool smooches]
2713
01:55:04,030 --> 01:55:06,756
Get your insolent hands
off me! Get off!
2714
01:55:07,964 --> 01:55:09,693
I'm grateful, gentlemen.
2715
01:55:10,571 --> 01:55:11,762
Let's hold the bows.
2716
01:55:11,897 --> 01:55:14,103
You led an Omega-level mutant
to this timeline.
2717
01:55:14,238 --> 01:55:15,797
- [Deadpool] You're welcome.
- And you
2718
01:55:15,933 --> 01:55:17,303
shouldn't even be
near this timeline.
2719
01:55:17,439 --> 01:55:19,611
- [Deadpool] He's welcome.
- And you
2720
01:55:19,746 --> 01:55:21,478
look damn good in that suit.
2721
01:55:21,614 --> 01:55:22,706
I'm so sorry.
2722
01:55:23,483 --> 01:55:24,576
[device beeping]
2723
01:55:27,083 --> 01:55:28,712
I wanna show you something.
2724
01:55:29,786 --> 01:55:31,046
Something huge.
2725
01:55:31,181 --> 01:55:33,057
[Deadpool] That's what
Scoutmaster Kevin used to say.
2726
01:55:34,560 --> 01:55:36,023
Do you see that?
2727
01:55:36,159 --> 01:55:38,029
Your universe is regenerating.
2728
01:55:38,896 --> 01:55:40,555
Whatever you did here,
2729
01:55:40,691 --> 01:55:42,900
you not only saved your world.
2730
01:55:43,036 --> 01:55:45,531
You spared your timeline
from extinction.
2731
01:55:47,397 --> 01:55:48,734
I'd rest up.
2732
01:55:48,870 --> 01:55:50,941
I have a feeling your work
is only just getting started.
2733
01:55:51,077 --> 01:55:53,301
[Deadpool whispers]
Till you're 90.
2734
01:55:53,436 --> 01:55:55,071
Wait! Um...
2735
01:55:55,206 --> 01:55:58,676
We couldn't have made it out
of The Void without some help
2736
01:55:58,811 --> 01:56:01,650
from some people
that the world kind of...
2737
01:56:01,785 --> 01:56:02,978
kind of forgot.
2738
01:56:03,113 --> 01:56:05,622
Is there any way that
you could maybe find a way
2739
01:56:05,758 --> 01:56:07,091
to bring them home?
2740
01:56:08,695 --> 01:56:09,919
I'll see what I can do.
2741
01:56:10,054 --> 01:56:12,458
[Deadpool] And, um,
I promised my friend here
2742
01:56:12,594 --> 01:56:15,257
that the TVA could undo
some pretty awful shit
2743
01:56:15,392 --> 01:56:16,162
in his timeline.
2744
01:56:16,297 --> 01:56:17,666
What would you say to that?
2745
01:56:17,801 --> 01:56:19,202
Change the past?
2746
01:56:19,337 --> 01:56:21,501
[Deadpool] Well, he did
help me save the world.
2747
01:56:21,636 --> 01:56:24,241
And his past made him
the man who did it.
2748
01:56:25,111 --> 01:56:27,507
There's nothing to fix,
Mr. Wilson.
2749
01:56:28,877 --> 01:56:30,114
Logan.
2750
01:56:33,450 --> 01:56:35,317
- [Deadpool] Shawarma? Yeah.
- I could eat.
2751
01:56:44,989 --> 01:56:47,428
You know, the Avengers
discovered shawarma.
2752
01:56:48,230 --> 01:56:50,134
They'd be lucky to have you.
2753
01:56:53,739 --> 01:56:55,535
[dog barking]
2754
01:56:57,239 --> 01:56:59,444
- Oh.
- Oh, come on.
2755
01:56:59,579 --> 01:57:00,606
Fuck off!
2756
01:57:01,739 --> 01:57:03,012
Come here, my little cunchkin.
2757
01:57:03,148 --> 01:57:04,582
- [Dogpool barks]
- Yes, it's you.
2758
01:57:04,717 --> 01:57:06,615
You're a survivor.
2759
01:57:06,750 --> 01:57:07,675
Mwah.
2760
01:57:07,811 --> 01:57:09,648
Oh, all is right in the world.
2761
01:57:10,887 --> 01:57:12,090
Yes, it is.
2762
01:57:13,718 --> 01:57:15,060
So what are you gonna do next?
2763
01:57:16,360 --> 01:57:18,558
I'll figure it out.
I always do.
2764
01:57:19,357 --> 01:57:20,461
All right.
2765
01:57:21,397 --> 01:57:23,026
So I'll probably
see you around?
2766
01:57:23,162 --> 01:57:25,664
[♪ soul music playing,
"You're All I Need to Get By"]
2767
01:57:27,806 --> 01:57:28,997
Probably not.
2768
01:57:32,074 --> 01:57:33,276
See you, bub.
2769
01:57:42,755 --> 01:57:44,012
[Wade] Logan.
2770
01:57:50,422 --> 01:57:52,163
Al. I'm back.
2771
01:57:52,632 --> 01:57:53,989
About damn time.
2772
01:57:54,125 --> 01:57:56,825
You holdin'? I'm all outta
devil's dandruff,
2773
01:57:56,961 --> 01:57:59,035
and I'm shaking
like an angry vibrator.
2774
01:57:59,170 --> 01:58:01,073
Thank you, Al.
We have company.
2775
01:58:01,774 --> 01:58:03,372
Althea, this is...
2776
01:58:04,007 --> 01:58:05,177
This is Logan.
2777
01:58:05,312 --> 01:58:07,169
- Nice to meet you, Logan.
- Nice to meet you, too.
2778
01:58:07,305 --> 01:58:10,806
And this little ancient anal
shit-knot is Mary Puppins.
2779
01:58:10,942 --> 01:58:13,284
Or as I like to call her,
Dogpool.
2780
01:58:13,419 --> 01:58:15,351
You want to treat yourself
to a little stroke?
2781
01:58:16,688 --> 01:58:19,720
- Get the tongue. There it is.
- Oh, my God! Motherfucker!
2782
01:58:19,856 --> 01:58:23,753
Right? It's like an armadillo
fucked a gremlin, angrily,
2783
01:58:23,889 --> 01:58:25,593
- in a bed of gonorrhea...
- Wow.
2784
01:58:25,728 --> 01:58:28,023
...and didn't stop till
the sun came up. [chuckles]
2785
01:58:29,068 --> 01:58:31,327
Everyone wants to matter.
2786
01:58:31,463 --> 01:58:34,702
Turns out that you don't need
to be Marvel Jesus to do it.
2787
01:58:34,837 --> 01:58:37,407
You just need to open
your eyes and look around.
2788
01:58:38,010 --> 01:58:39,177
And if you're lucky,
2789
01:58:40,013 --> 01:58:41,778
you'll find a few friends.
2790
01:58:41,913 --> 01:58:43,214
Old friends,
2791
01:58:43,982 --> 01:58:45,744
and some new ones too.
2792
01:58:47,412 --> 01:58:48,549
[laughter]
2793
01:58:50,323 --> 01:58:52,487
Give me the fucking dog.
Talk to the girl.
2794
01:58:57,160 --> 01:58:58,625
[indistinct chatter]
2795
01:59:02,866 --> 01:59:03,966
Oh, hi.
2796
01:59:04,102 --> 01:59:06,099
- Hi.
- [both laugh]
2797
01:59:06,235 --> 01:59:07,705
[Wade clears throat]
2798
01:59:07,840 --> 01:59:09,031
You've been busy.
2799
01:59:11,910 --> 01:59:13,508
I did it for you.
2800
01:59:15,339 --> 01:59:17,974
And even if you don't want me,
I... I did it for you.
2801
01:59:27,090 --> 01:59:28,718
Turns out,
2802
01:59:28,853 --> 01:59:30,989
I am the world-saving type.
2803
01:59:31,125 --> 01:59:33,330
Just look around this table
if you want proof.
2804
01:59:34,131 --> 01:59:35,300
And the best part?
2805
01:59:36,069 --> 01:59:38,060
Sometimes the people we save,
2806
01:59:38,928 --> 01:59:40,735
they save us right back.
2807
01:59:40,871 --> 01:59:42,231
[♪ "You're All I Need
to Get By" continues playing]
2808
01:59:42,366 --> 01:59:46,203
♪ We've got
the right foundation ♪
2809
01:59:46,339 --> 01:59:50,909
♪ And with the love
and determination ♪
2810
01:59:51,045 --> 01:59:56,277
♪ You're all,
you're all I need ♪
2811
01:59:56,413 --> 02:00:01,784
♪ You're all,
you're all I need ♪
2812
02:00:01,919 --> 02:00:03,824
♪ You're all ♪
2813
02:00:03,960 --> 02:00:08,629
♪ You're all
I need to get by ♪
2814
02:00:12,028 --> 02:00:15,530
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
2815
02:00:15,665 --> 02:00:18,672
[♪ alt. rock music plays,
Green Day "Time of Your Life"]
2816
02:00:20,413 --> 02:00:22,703
[Charles] You're not
the only one with gifts.
2817
02:00:22,839 --> 02:00:24,139
What is this place?
2818
02:00:34,257 --> 02:00:39,160
♪ Another turning point,
a fork stuck in the road ♪
2819
02:00:39,295 --> 02:00:43,457
♪ Time grabs you by the wrist,
directs you where to go ♪
2820
02:00:43,593 --> 02:00:45,232
[groans]
2821
02:00:45,367 --> 02:00:48,906
♪ So make the best of this
test and don't ask why ♪
2822
02:00:49,042 --> 02:00:52,836
♪ It's not a question, but
a lesson learned in time ♪
2823
02:00:52,971 --> 02:00:54,775
- Nice suit.
- Zip it, Stan Lee.
2824
02:00:54,911 --> 02:00:56,038
♪ It's something
unpredictable ♪
2825
02:00:56,174 --> 02:00:58,606
♪ But in the end is right ♪
2826
02:00:58,742 --> 02:01:02,445
♪ I hope you had
the time of your life... ♪
2827
02:01:02,580 --> 02:01:03,951
[laughter]
2828
02:01:04,086 --> 02:01:06,119
I really like the, uh...
the art in
the Deadpool comics.
2829
02:01:06,254 --> 02:01:08,451
You know, I just always felt
a kind of a kinship to him.
2830
02:01:08,586 --> 02:01:11,357
And I just thought,
I'd like to
play that guy someday.
2831
02:01:11,492 --> 02:01:16,691
♪ So take the photographs and
still frames in your mind ♪
2832
02:01:16,827 --> 02:01:21,563
♪ Hang it on a shelf in
good health and good time ♪
2833
02:01:21,698 --> 02:01:26,511
♪ Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial ♪
2834
02:01:26,646 --> 02:01:29,447
♪ For what it's worth,
it was worth ♪
2835
02:01:29,583 --> 02:01:31,573
- ♪ All the while ♪
- [applause]
2836
02:01:31,708 --> 02:01:32,945
[cheering]
2837
02:01:33,081 --> 02:01:34,109
♪ It's something
unpredictable ♪
2838
02:01:34,245 --> 02:01:36,182
♪ But in the end is right ♪
2839
02:01:36,318 --> 02:01:39,789
♪ I hope you had
the time of your life... ♪
2840
02:01:39,924 --> 02:01:43,093
I was there for three weeks
before I shot a single thing.
2841
02:01:43,229 --> 02:01:45,358
At our first day of shooting,
2842
02:01:45,493 --> 02:01:47,223
I was so nervous, man.
2843
02:01:47,358 --> 02:01:49,434
Everyone was sort of going,
"Who's this guy?"
2844
02:01:49,569 --> 02:01:51,436
You know,
there was a lot of that and,
2845
02:01:51,571 --> 02:01:53,029
you know,
"Is he gonna deliver or not?"
2846
02:01:53,165 --> 02:01:55,297
You can feel
all that kind of pressure.
2847
02:01:56,400 --> 02:01:59,740
It's always the suit's fault.
Never the actor.
2848
02:02:07,381 --> 02:02:08,218
[screaming]
2849
02:02:08,353 --> 02:02:09,817
- This is...
- The only way.
2850
02:02:09,953 --> 02:02:12,323
♪ It's something
unpredictable ♪
2851
02:02:12,459 --> 02:02:14,451
♪ But in the end is right ♪
2852
02:02:14,586 --> 02:02:18,955
♪ I hope you had
the time of your life ♪
2853
02:02:19,090 --> 02:02:21,399
Ah, so this is
what it feels like.
2854
02:02:23,828 --> 02:02:25,530
And there's the lights.
2855
02:02:25,665 --> 02:02:27,229
For medical research.
2856
02:02:27,364 --> 02:02:29,369
- Bye-bye, video. [smooches]
- [man] Bye.
2857
02:02:29,504 --> 02:02:30,507
[♪ song ends]
2858
02:02:34,974 --> 02:02:37,140
[♪ instrumental music playing]
2859
02:06:43,126 --> 02:06:45,790
[Deadpool] I'm tired of
these absolutely vile rumors
2860
02:06:45,926 --> 02:06:47,225
that I got Johnny killed.
2861
02:06:48,092 --> 02:06:49,326
Let's look at the tape.
2862
02:06:50,533 --> 02:06:51,666
In The Void,
2863
02:06:51,801 --> 02:06:53,632
you're either food for Alioth
2864
02:06:53,768 --> 02:06:55,068
or you work for her.
2865
02:06:58,004 --> 02:06:59,235
[Deadpool] Go on, Johnny.
2866
02:06:59,371 --> 02:07:00,902
And I'll tell you
who "her" is.
2867
02:07:01,037 --> 02:07:01,974
Cassandra Nova.
2868
02:07:02,110 --> 02:07:04,207
A megalomaniacal,
psychotic asshole.
2869
02:07:04,343 --> 02:07:06,280
A finger licking
dead-inside pixie slab
2870
02:07:06,416 --> 02:07:08,411
of third rate
dime-store nut-milk.
And I'll tell you
2871
02:07:08,547 --> 02:07:09,885
- what she can do.
- [Deadpool] I'm listening.
2872
02:07:10,020 --> 02:07:11,787
She can lick my goddamn
cinnamon ring clean
2873
02:07:11,922 --> 02:07:13,451
and kick rocks
all the way to bald hell.
2874
02:07:13,587 --> 02:07:15,958
In fact, I don't give a shit
if she removes all my skin
2875
02:07:16,093 --> 02:07:17,987
and pops me like some
nightmarish blood balloon.
2876
02:07:18,122 --> 02:07:19,191
If the last thing I do
2877
02:07:19,326 --> 02:07:21,091
in this godforsaken
cum-gutter existence
2878
02:07:21,226 --> 02:07:22,793
is light
that fuck-box on fire,
2879
02:07:22,929 --> 02:07:24,098
I still won't die happy.
2880
02:07:24,233 --> 02:07:25,696
[Deadpool laughs]
Holy shit, girl. You crazy.
2881
02:07:25,831 --> 02:07:28,296
That's right, Wade.
I won't be happy
until I've urinated
2882
02:07:28,431 --> 02:07:29,903
on her freshly
barbecued corpse
2883
02:07:30,039 --> 02:07:31,740
and husk-fucked
the charred remains
2884
02:07:31,876 --> 02:07:33,676
while gargling
Juggernaut's juggernuts.
2885
02:07:33,812 --> 02:07:35,310
- [Deadpool] Wow!
- And you can quote me.
2886
02:07:35,445 --> 02:07:36,774
[Deadpool] 'Kay.
2887
02:07:36,909 --> 02:07:38,309
Got you, fuckface.